Were A Star Quenched On High
by The Girl in the Red Jacket
Summary: What happens when you're up against something you can't beat? The former Rangers find they are helpless to save one of their own, all they can do now is let him go. It's finished! Please R & R!
1. Bad News

Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers. I make no money from this. Don't sue me I couldn't pay the lawyer's fee.   
  
Thank you's: A VERY big thanks to BURL the super hottie and Jeni for beta-reading this monster for me. The story would be grammar challenged without you!   
  
  
Were A Star Quenched On High  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
Bad News  
  
  
"Jason? Jase, are you here?" Tommy called, opening the door to Jason's apartment with his spare key.   
  
Jason was supposed to meet Tommy at their Dojo, they had been planning to spar together after classes but Jason had never shown up. Tommy remembered the last time Jason had missed sparring and shuddered slightly. Unlike himself, Jason was never late and usually when he missed sparring or any other set meeting something was up. Even though they had retired from being Rangers, Tommy still worried when someone was late or something strange happened; he couldn't help it. Old habits die hard. After half and hour of waiting, Tommy had gone to find Jason, worried that something was amiss.  
  
"Jase?" Tommy called entering the living room. He stopped in his tracks. The room was dark and Jason was sitting on the floor to one side. He made no sound even though Tommy knew Jason was aware of his presence.  
  
"Jason? What's wrong?" Tommy asked quickly walking over and sitting beside his friend. Jason stayed silent for a few more seconds before answering in a flat, listless tone.  
  
"Sorry, I wasn't up to sparring today." Jason said quietly, keeping his eyes on the ground.  
  
"That's okay. I don't mind. But what's wrong?" Tommy asked softly, knowing something was deeply amiss. Jason looked at him---the normally cheerful brown eyes had lost their sparkle, dulled from shock.  
  
"I have cancer." Jason replied in an emotionless tone. "It started in my lungs and it's spreading quickly to my other organs. I just found out today. I had a normal check up three days ago, yesterday they called me asking to run more tests and today they told me."  
  
"Oh, my God," Tommy whispered, letting the words sink in, "What are you going to do?"  
  
"There's nothing I can do." Jason's tone was dull and completely void of any emotion. "It's spread too much to be operated on. The only thing to do is to let it run its course."  
  
"You're just giving up?! What about radiation or...or chemotherapy? You can't just give up! You can't just let yourself..." Tommy trailed off not wanting to say the word.  
  
"Die." Jason sighed. "I said the exact same thing to my doctor this morning. The cancer is too far advanced to respond to radiation. It won't make a big enough difference. Chemotherapy was an option but I said no. It would only buy me a few months, at the most, and it will make me sick the whole time. I don't want to spend the rest of my time throwing up all day."  
  
"How long?" Tommy asked. Jason sighed again, looking wearier than he ever had before, even after giving up the Gold Ranger powers. "Jase, how long do you have left?"  
  
"Not long. Two or three months at the most. This strand cancer moves quickly. The doctors told me I won't make my next birthday." Jason replied, feeling tears come to his eyes. He had not cried yet, everything was still sinking in. But Jason knew when the reality did hit him it would hit him hard. "On the X-ray of my lungs my whole left lung was cloudy. You couldn't even see it properly. My right lung is almost as bad and it's starting to cover my heart too."  
  
"I don't know what to say." Tommy put his hand gently on Jason's shoulder. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"Don't. Please don't do that. I don't want anyone's pity. I don't want people to look at me differently." Jason said quickly. This is what he was afraid of. "If I have less than a year left I want to spend it enjoying myself. I don't want to be treated differently, especially by my friends."  
  
For a few seconds they both sat in complete silence. Tommy was at a loss for words. They had both been faced with death before but this seemed to be set in stone. There had always been some way, some hope, however unsure, that they could overcome the situation before. This time though, there was nothing to be done.  
  
"I'm not telling anyone else." Jason remarked after a minute or so.  
  
"Why?" Tommy asked quietly.  
  
"You're my best friend, Tommy, my bro. I tell you everything and I know I can trust you not to treat me like I'm glass about to shatter. But the others don't know me as well as you do. No one knows me as well as you do, except maybe Billy." Jason replied softly. "I won't be able to stand it if everyone treats me like I'm about to break all the time. I can't live like that either."  
  
"They'll notice something is up sooner or later." Tommy commented. Jason nodded slowly.  
  
"I know, I'll tell them at some point---but not right away. For a few months at least, I want to live as normally as I can. Once this gets out it won't be the same." Jason sighed. "Until I have to I'm not going to live that differently. I love my life, I don't want it to change."  
  
"You know I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." Tommy remarked. "I think you should tell them but I won't say anything until you want me to."  
  
"Thanks. I will tell them, in awhile." Jason said softly.  
  
"I do want you to know that I'll always be here if you need to talk or if you need or shoulder to cry on or if you need anything at all." Tommy said wanting to get that point out. Jason hesitated slightly.  
  
"Near the end, well, I know near the end it's going to be bad and that I'll be in pain. If you don't want to be around when that happens I'll understand." Jason knew a little about what would happen near the end and about what kind of shape he would be in then. It scared him that no one would want to be around him then, but he couldn't blame them if they didn't.   
  
Jason realized he would have to be hospitalized or move to a hospice then. His parents now lived in New York, and he could always go live with them but he didn't want to leave Angel Grove. He hadn't spoken to his parents since he left the Peace Conference; they had been disappointed in him for leaving, and since they were in New York and he was in Angel Grove, there hadn't been much communication between them.  
  
"Jason, no matter what happens I'm going to stick by you. I promise that whatever happens you won't be alone when you go through it. I'll be there with you." Tommy replied with more conviction than Jason had heard him use before.  
  
"You don't know how much that means to me." Jason whispered feeling tears flood him. It was beginning to sink in, the harsh fate Jason had been dealt was hitting home now.   
  
"You'd think that with all we've been through and how many times we've face death before that I wouldn't be scared." Jason felt the tears begin to streak down his face. "I can't explain why I'm so terrified."   
  
Tommy said nothing but put his arms around his friend and hugged Jason close, letting him cry on his shoulder. Jason needed to get all his fears and sorrows and regrets out before he drowned in them. Tommy had said he would be there for Jason if he needed anything and Tommy was always true to his word. Tommy felt tears rolling down his own cheeks as well. His best friend, who was a brother him, would be gone in less than a year. After all the good they had done for the world it wasn't right or fair for Jason to die so young.   
  
If anyone had walked in just then they would have been shocked to see two of the strongest and toughest Power Rangers ever, crying in each others arms. Weeping for all they were going to lose prematurely. 


	2. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers or anything Power Rangers related! If I did then God help Alpha 5. I would have taken him apart!  
  
Thank you's: Same as last chapter and thank you to Shawn and Sara for reviewing...my only two reviews! Thanks to a certain doctor who shall remain nameless for giving me a base for Dr. Johnson.   
  
Author's Note: If you read this please review it! I'd really apperciate feedback because this took me forever to write and means a lot to me. I want to hear what people think of it!   
  
  
Chapter 2  
One Month Later  
The Truth Comes Out  
  
  
"Have you noticed something different about Jason in the last few weeks?" Adam asked from where he and Rocky were watching Tommy and Jason spar.  
  
"Tommy is definitely taking it easy on Jason right now." Rocky replied, watching the two of them.  
  
"Tommy keeps avoiding Jason's chest. It's like he thinks he'll hurt Jase if he hits him there, even lightly." Adam observed.   
  
They watched as the two friends sparred in their usual friendly manner but it was easy to notice that Jason's skill level wasn't nearly the same as before. He was slower, weaker and just generally more worn out.   
  
'Jason is out of breath already. He's getting weaker too fast.' Tommy sighed inwardly knowing that soon even short sparring sessions would be too much for Jason. 'I knew this would come up but why this soon?'  
  
Since the day he told Tommy Jason had been trying hard not to let any weakness show in front of anyone else. But it was taking a toll on him and after two weeks Jason had to settle for just barely keeping up with his friends now he had to settle for less than that. One day Jason had looked in the mirror and noticed the bags under his eyes: the pain was keeping him awake at night now. He knew he would be on medication for it soon. The next day he noticed how pale his skin was, the next day how his body was becoming less and less muscular until there was hardly any definition at all. He was getting so much thinner, too...Jason knew he was dying but hated the fact that he would die so helpless.  
  
Tommy was usually the one to stop a sparring match or stop another activity when he noticed Jason was pushing his limits. Tommy understood and respected the reasons Jason didn't want to let the others know yet. But he also knew Jason would have to tell them soon as he was only getting weaker as the days went on. It was getting noticeable.  
  
About two minutes later Tommy knew it was time to call it quits, "I'm thirsty, Jase. Let's go join Rocky and Adam."  
  
"Fine by me." Jason replied shooting Tommy a grateful glance.  
  
"You didn't spar for long." Adam commented when Jason and Tommy joined them.  
  
"Nah, I'm hungry." Tommy answered a little too quickly. Adam exchanged a glance with Rocky as if saying 'Something is up.' But they didn't push for answers.  
  
"I thought that was Rocky's line." Adam put in getting a laugh even from Rocky. The others didn't realize how grateful Jason was that they didn't push for answers.  
  
'Not yet, just a few more days of normal life. That's all I want.' Jason thought to himself as the others dung into the food in front of them. Jason hardly had any appetite now, eating usually made him feel nauseous and more and more often made him throw up. He managed to eat a little so no one would say anything but paid the price of feeling quite queasy. Tommy gave him a worried glance but didn't say anything; he wouldn't say anything when they were in front of the others.  
  
As they began to get back to work Jason knew something was wrong. It started out as just a twinge, nothing unusual, it had happened before. "Pain is to be expected," his doctor had said, "when the cancer is so far advanced." But it didn't go away in a few seconds like it always had before. The pain grew and grew and grew. Jason felt his breath get caught in his throat as almost searing pain shot through him.  
  
Jason's face paled and he doubled over in pain. He could barely breath and his heart felt as if it were going to race out of his chest. Jason grabbed onto the counter desperately trying to steady himself but collapsed to the floor. Tommy, Rocky and Adam immediately dropped what they were going and rushed to the side of their former teammate. Tommy was the first to reach him.  
  
"Jason! Talk to me, bro. What's wrong?" Tommy gingerly turned Jason over onto his side to make it more easy for him to breath. Jason was struggling to do just that, his lungs felt as if they were on fire. It was all he could do not to cry out from the pain.  
  
"...it...hurts..." Jason gasped, his vision blurring badly so he could barely make out the concerned face of his friends above him.  
  
"Someone call an ambulance!" Adam yelled. One of the students was the one to run to the phone and dial 911.  
  
"Hold on, Jase. Help is coming." Tommy said trying not to panic himself. He managed to maintain his calm by reminding himself it would do Jason no go for him to lose it.  
  
"...can't...breath..." Jason said desperate for air that just wouldn't make it's way into his lungs.  
  
"Just try to relax, it will make breathing easier." Adam suggested now kneeling beside Jason as Rocky kept everyone from crowding around. Jason could only manage to draw in shallow, rasping breaths as it was. He didn't need a large crowd to make things more hectic.  
  
"Come on, Jason. You gotta breath." Rocky whispered as he kept students and staff back so his ailing friend had room. Relief rushed everyone when the sounds of the ambulance came into hearing range.  
  
"You'll be okay now, Jason." Adam reassured him, gently touching Jason's arm. Tommy wished that could be true but knew Jason was far from alright.  
  
The paramedics rushed onto the scene with a stretcher as someone had gone outside to direct them in. They worked very quickly to secure Jason to the stretcher.  
  
"...Tommy...tell...them..." Jason rasped before the oxygen mask was pulled over his face. He was swallowed by the sea of tubes and monitors as the ambulance rushed away, its sirens blaring down the street.  
  
"Tell us what, Tommy?" Adam asked as the siren bellowed down the next street on it's way to the hospital. Tommy sighed before turning to two of his business partners.  
  
"Jason has lung cancer." Tommy answered slowly. "He's dying."  
  
"Oh, my God." Adam whispered.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us?" Rocky demanded, sounding more hurt than angry.  
  
"Jason didn't want me to. He wanted to live as normally as possible for as long as he could." Tommy replied. "No one else, expect his parents, know."  
  
"You guys head to the hospital," Julia, one of the part time teachers, said. "I'll take care of things here, okay?"  
  
"Thanks, Julia. We'll call you when we find out what's going on." Tommy told her just before he, Rocky, and Adam got into their cars and started to the hospital.  
  
The three of them slowly walked into the emergency ward. No one spoke, Adam and Rocky were still stunned from the news of Jason's terminal illness and Tommy was distraught over Jason being in so much pain. 'If it's like this already what will it be like at the end?' Tommy thought. He remembered his promise not abandon Jason no matter how bad it got. Tommy silently vowed that he would keep that promise come hell or high water.  
  
"Excuse me, Miss. Do you know where we can find a Jason Lee Scott?" Adam asked the nurse at the desk. She typed something into her computer before answering.  
  
"He's been moved to the oncology ICU for observation. Take the elevator to the second floor and take a right." She replied quickly before turning away to deal with something else.  
  
"Thank you." Adam replied even though the nurse was too busy dealing with something else to acknowledge. him  
  
Tommy wished the elevator would move faster when they were in it, and then that the hall wasn't so long when they were almost running down it. A doctor walked from out of door just as they arrived at the area marked ICU. He looked up at the teens as they approached.  
  
"Can I help you?" He asked as Tommy stopped in front of him.  
  
"Our friend just arrived here by ambulance. His names is Jason Lee Scott." Tommy answered quickly.  
  
"Yes, the advanced cancer patient." The doctor replied too casually. Tommy suddenly had the urge to punch something, or maybe the doctor in front of him, very hard.  
  
"Is Jason alright?" Rocky asked softly.  
  
"Do you know when Mr. Scott's parents will be arriving?" The doctor asked ignoring the question.  
  
"No. They live in New York so they'll have to fly here." Tommy answered quickly. "Please, can you tell us what's happened to him? How is he?"  
  
The doctor looked at the young men in front of him for a few moments before replying, "As you may be aware, Mr. Scott has extensive small cell lung cancer. His case has advanced more quickly than usual and is continuing to invade his body at a fast speed. He collapsed because he was over working himself."  
  
"After a five minute spar and lunch?" Rocky asked in shock.  
  
"As I aforementioned, the cancer has spread quicker than we assumed. The cancer now covers both lungs, most of his heart and is spreading to his other organs. Since he was very fit and healthy otherwise we assumed he would make four or five months, more than most patients, but unfortunately that will not be the case." The doctor replied.  
  
"Is there anything that can be done?" Adam asked quickly.  
  
"I'm afraid not. The cancer is too far advanced to operate, as it has been from the beginning, and any other option would only make Mr. Scott weaker than he already is." The doctor replied.  
  
"Can we see him?" Tommy asked quietly still absorbing this new news.  
  
"Yes. However he may be slightly groggy as he was given a dose of morphine to stop the pain." The doctor answered. "And I would suggest going in only one at a time as too many people may overwhelm him."  
  
Tommy went in first and almost gasped out loud at what he saw. Jason looked so fragile lying on the hospital bed with more tubes and monitors hooked up to most of his body. It was even worse than when he had had to give up the Gold Ranger powers, that was the last time Tommy could remember Jason looking close to what he looked like now.  
  
A breathing tube was stuck down his throat and oxygen tubes ran into his nose to make sure he got enough air into his ailing lungs. 'He's so pale.' Tommy thought as he sat at Jason's bedside. 'What's going to happen now?'  
  
Jason opened his eyes slowly as Tommy took his hand. Jason did indeed look slightly dazed from the pain killers. This was the first time he had been heavily drugged to take away the pain. Jason didn't like the feeling; it made him realize how out of control this was.  
  
"Hey, Jase." Tommy said softly noticing Jason was awake. "You gave us a scare back at the Dojo." Jason tried to speak but the breathing tube prevented it. It only made his throat ache more than it already did.  
  
"Don't try to talk. The doctors will take that tube out soon but you still need it right now." Tommy said quickly. Jason looked crestfallen at the fact he needed the tube to breath properly. "Relax, it's only because you pushed yourself too hard. You've got to take it easy from now on, okay?"  
  
Jason felt tears come to his eyes. Everything was going to be different, just like he had known. But Jason saw how concerned Tommy was and nodded weakly to show he understood.  
  
"I told the others what's happening." Tommy told him. "I know you don't want things to be any different, so I told them that as well. The doctors called you're parents; they said they would be here by tonight." Tommy could see how scared Jason was but that he was trying to keep up a brave front for everyone, himself included.  
  
"Adam and Rocky want to see you as well," Tommy mentioned. Jason closed his eyes and a tear streamed down his face as he slowly shook his head. Seeing them now was just too much. He couldn't even speak to them to explain why he had kept everything from them.  
  
"You don't want to see them?" Tommy asked. Jason nodded but pointed weakly to the breathing tube.  
  
"You don't want them to see you like this?" Tommy echoed. Jason nodded slowly, his eyes filling with tears once more. "Alright, I'm sure they'll understand. Once the breathing tube comes out will you see them?" Jason nodded again.  
  
Jason wanted more than anything to be able to speak to Tommy and the rest of his friends at that moment. He gestured to the breathing tube and then to Tommy's watch trying to ask when it would be taken out.  
  
"I don't know when they're taking it out, Jase." Tommy replied, understanding what Jason was trying to ask. "I only know that it should be out before your parents get here."  
  
"Mr. Oliver, I'm going to have to ask you to leave so we can run some tests." A doctor said from the doorway.  
  
"Alright." Tommy said over his shoulder before turning back to Jason for a few moments. "I'll be back as soon as they let me, okay?" Jason nodded slightly, not wanting Tommy to leave but knowing the doctor wouldn't let him stay. Tommy squeezed Jason's hand quickly before going.  
  
"Now if you'll just lie still, Mr. Scott, I can run the tests quickly and we can see about taking that tube out." The doctor said. "I'm Dr. Johnson, by the way and I'll be taking care of your case from now on so come to me if there's a problem."  
  
Jason was not fond of having tests run on him but he endured it. They was no use putting up a protest and Jason didn't have the strength to argue. It seemed to take forever before Dr. Johnson was done poking and prodding him, or at least that's how Jason saw it. Even in his current mood Jason could see Dr. Johnson was a caring and good natured person as well as a good doctor. Jason was secretly relieved that Dr. Johnson would be taking care of his matters from now on. He had been afraid of getting a fussy doctor who was sure to make him stay in the hospital for the rest of his shortened life.  
  
"Alright, Mr. Scott. I can take the breathing tube out now as your tests show you should be able to breath on your own. I'm going to count to three and I want you to exhale as hard as you can. You may lose your breath for a few minutes or start to cough but that's normal and I may put an oxygen mask on you, but if you don't need it I won't." Jason nodded to show he understood and prepared himself.  
  
"One, two, three!" Dr. Johnson said at the same time as pulling the tube out.  
  
Jason was winded for a few seconds and coughed violently, gasping for breath. It felt as if all the air had been sucked from his lungs and his throat burned. But the air quickly returned, especially after the oxygen mask was placed over his mouth.  
  
"Are you alright, Mr. Scott?" Dr. Johnson asked. Jason nodded slowly feeling oxygen flood his weak lungs. It was an almost overwhelming feeling, and not a good one.  
  
"It's Jason, if that's okay with you." Jason rasped his throat hurting from the tube. Dr. Johnson smiled faintly.  
  
"Alright then, Jason. Would you like me to let your friend back in?" Dr. Johnson asked. Jason again nodded wanting to save his voice to talk to his friends and parents.  
  
"Don't take the oxygen mask off for long and try to speak in moderate amounts." Dr. Johnson warned. Jason nodded in understanding.  
  
Jason closed his eyes briefly but opened them quickly as Tommy entered the room. Tommy resumed his seat at Jason's bedside and didn't speak for a few seconds but held Jason's hand in his own. Jason was just glad Tommy was back, it made him feel safer to have him there.  
  
"You're father called from the plane. They land in about half and hour." Tommy told Jason breaking the silence.  
  
"I haven't spoken to my father since I left the Peace Conference. He didn't want me to leave." Jason whispered in a hoarse voice. "I shouldn't have stopped speaking to him for so long."  
  
"I don't think that matters to him anymore." Tommy said gently. To his surprised Jason let out a raspy, bitter laugh.  
  
"Yeah, it's amazing how cancer brings families together." Jason knew his words stunned Tommy but not as much as they stung at his own heart. Tommy had no answer for that. Jason immediately felt guilty.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tommy. I didn't mean anything by that. It's just..." Jason trailed off. "I don't want to be speaking to my parents again because I'm dying. I wanted to do it on my own terms. I missed them but I didn't want to be 'reunited' because I'm dying. I should have called them before."  
  
"It's alright, Jase. I understand and I'm sure your parents will too." Tommy said softly.  
  
"I don't want things to end like this," Jason sighed. "I don't want to die yet. There's too much I still want to accomplish and now I'll never get to," Jason started to cough. His throat was aching and he knew he should lay off talking for awhile but Jason couldn't help it. He wanted to talk to Tommy...it comforted him more than Jason could explain.  
  
"Save your strength, Jase." Tommy said gently. "Your doctor told me you should take it easy on your throat for awhile."  
  
"I know..." Jason rasped. His eyes were full of such grief Tommy could hardly bare to look into them. Very gently, so not to upset the monitors Jason was hooked up on, Tommy embraced his friend. It wasn't long before Tommy felt Jason's hot tears on his shoulder.  
  
Jason had soon cried himself to sleep. Tommy felt his own tears on his cheeks. 'Why? why?! WHY!!!??' Tommy yelled inwardly, Jason was his best friend, losing him slowly was tearing Tommy apart inside. But Tommy would rather die than let Jason go though this alone.  



	3. What Happens Now?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers or anything else. I don't even own the computer I'm typing on. Don't sue! I don't have enough money to pay a lawyer's fee!  
  
Thank you's: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! All four of you! Morgan, Hanspam, bhotanni and NinjaZeo10, you made my day when you reviewed! Thank you bunches!!  
  
Author's Note: I REALLY want feedback for this story. I've finished it and am just waiting for all the chapters to be edited by my editors, who must be angels for putting up with my grammer. If you want the next chapter posted please review! Hopefully, chapter four will be up next Friday. I'm working on a few other stories right now so the posting may be delayed.  
  
Chapter 3   
What Happens Now?  
  
  
When Jason had woken up he had very briefly been able to see Rocky and Adam, but only for a few minutes each. He couldn't answer a lot of their questions as his throat was still aching and his lungs were weak from the stress of speaking. Jason needed to have the oxygen mask on throughout the visit. It had been hard with Adam especially. Adam had looked as if he was going to cry but wouldn't let himself. Jason could see the looks of pity they both gave him as well. Jason hated that already.  
  
Jason thought seeing his parents when they arrived was even worse. The looks of pity they gave him made Jason want to scream. Tommy had become his only anchor to sanity that night. If Tommy hadn't been there to calm him down between the vists from his parents and the doctors Jason would have probably ripped his IVs out and tried to make a break for it.  
  
Tommy was in the room with Jason, Jason's parents and Dr. Johnson when they were deciding what would happen to Jason after he was realized from the hospital. Tommy could see Jason was getting angry, for the past half an hour or so they had been talking about him as if he wasn't in the room or, worse, as if he was already dead.  
  
"I don't want to leave Angel Grove." Jason said softly. Only Tommy seemed to have heard him.  
  
"If you could transfer his files to the hospital near our home we could have a nurse come from there..." Mr. Scott was suggesting.  
  
"I don't want to leave Angel Grove!" Jason repeated his voice rising. He knew very well that he didn't have the energy to keep this bold front up for long but it would have to last long enough for him to make his needs known. Moving to New York was not one of those things.  
  
"Jason, we know you're not happy about this situation but you said yourself you didn't want to stay in the hospital." Ms. Scott told him gently. She hated seeing her only son like this, it killed her inside to see him slowly dying.  
  
"What about a hospice?" Jason asked looking at Dr. Johnson rather than his parents.  
  
"Well, there is one here in Angel Grove but I wouldn't recommend it. It houses mostly older patients and you may feel out of place there." Dr. Johnson replied.  
  
"I'm hardly twenty and I'm dying from cancer that is so far advanced no one can do a thing about it! Where am I going to feel 'in' place?" Jason replied coldly. "The only people who don't make me feel like I'm a complete freak are my friends. They treat me like I'm the same guy I was six months ago. I'm still that guy, you know. My friends are the only people who still treat me like I'm...I'm still a human being and not something to fragile to be even touched!"   
  
Tommy could see that the outburst was costing Jason. He was in pain and Tommy knew that Jason would never admit it, especially not at a time like this. Gently he put his hand on Jason's shoulder to calm him down. An idea sprang to his mind, it was small and might not work but maybe...  
  
"I have an extra room in my apartment." Tommy said suddenly. All eyes were now on him. "If you don't want to put Jason in a hospice and he doesn't want to move to New York or stay in the hospital he could move into my spare room. I only live a few blocks away from the hospital and I'm in the same building."  
  
"Tommy, I...I can't ask you to do that." Jason replied softly. 'Please don't push this. I won't be able to say no to the offer and I know what's going to happen in a month.' Jason yelled inwardly.  
  
"You aren't asking me to do anything. I'm offering." Tommy pointed out quietly before turning to the doctor and Jason's parents. "I know you probably don't think much of this idea but Jason wouldn't be alone. He would be close to the hospital and a nurse could be there as well. I don't have much money but I've got enough saved..."  
  
"We wouldn't make you pay for this, Tommy." Ms. Scott said quietly. "But we've got to think of what's best for Jason. In a month he..."  
  
"I know what's going to happen mom! Don't you think I understand that I won't make my next birthday? I won't get to be married or raise a family or anything! I know that I'll miss out on all the most important events of my friends' lives! Hell, I'm going to miss what should be the most important moments of my own life! I know I'm going to die soon!" Tommy's hand squeezed his shoulder softly making Jason stop from saying more. Ms. Scott looked slightly fazed but sat beside Jason's bed, taking his hand in hers.  
  
"Jason, we're not trying to make you feel isolated. But we do have to make sure you'll be getting the care you need. You know what Dr. Johnson has told us and you do as well, Tommy, as time goes on things won't be easy for you. Your father and I just want to make sure  
you're as comfortable as possible." Ms. Scott told him gently. Jason felt the anger in him dim and fade away. Part of him was crying for his mom to make everything better like she used to but he knew that was impossible.  
  
"I know that, mom, but moving me to New York where I don't know anyone...I don't want to leave Angel Grove. It's my home, it always has been. I can't leave my friends so soon when I'm leaving them too early all ready." Jason replied softly. "I love you and dad but I won't be happy in New York. Please, let me stay."  
  
Ms. Scott sighed and looked at her husband who still didn't look happy about this situation, "Jim, we've got to talk. Come on." Ms. Scott lead her husband out to the hall quickly and Jason could see them arguing.  
  
"Mr. Oliver, I hope you understand what you're taking on here." Dr. Johnson said quickly. "As much as I hate telling people this, Jason, you will be in a lot of pain by the end. Soon, you'll be bedridden, are you sure you can handle this?" He asked glancing from Tommy to Jason.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure." Tommy wished he could offer up some proof but nothing this big came to mind.  
  
Dr. Johnson sighed, "I have noticed the effect you have on each other. If it hadn't been for that I would not recommend this but maybe...Jason are you sure about this? Going with your parents might be the best thing for you."  
  
"It won't be. I won't have anything left to live for if I go with them." Jason replied softly. Tommy squeezed his hand gently as Jason's parents came back into the room.  
  
"Tommy, if you are sure you can handle this we will permit this." Mr. Scott said in a very strained voice. "However, you have to listen to Dr. Johnson on what your limitations are, Jason."  
  
"We don't want you to be unhappy, Jason. We want what's best for you, I hope you know that." Ms. Scott added softly. "I know you do, mom. I love you, it's just hard. Everything is hard right now." Jason whispered. Tommy squeezed his shoulder softly once more before stepping back letting Ms. Scott hug her son as tightly as she could without hurting him.   
  
Tommy glanced at Mr. Scott by chance while Ms. Scott had Jason in a warm embrace. To his surprise he saw tears streaking Mr. Scott's face. He looked at Dr. Johnson and backed out of the room, knowing this was a family moment that he wasn't a part of. Dr. Johnson also seemed to take the hint and left the room, giving the Scotts some privacy.  
  
"What's going to happen now?" Adam asked when Tommy sat down wearily beside him.   
  
"Jason isn't going to stay in the hospital for much longer and he's not going to move to New York and he's not going to a hospice. He's going to move in with me until..." Tommy trailed off not wanting to say it. Even though they both knew what would eventually happen neither one wanted to say it out loud.  
  
"Are you sure you can handle this Tommy?" Adam asked quietly. Before Tommy got a chance to reply Adam saw the look in his eyes and held his hand up to say no answer was needed.  
  
"Rocky and I will cover your classes at the Dojo. We're going to have to hire a new sensei." Adam remarked. Tommy just nodded, he had already thought of that and made a few inquiries.  
  
"Tommy, I hate to ask this but, "Adam sighed softly feeling tears start to build up in his eyes, "How long does Jason have left?"  
  
Tommy's tone was flat when he answered, as if it took something from him just to answer it, "About a month." 


	4. A Different Kind of Attack

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em!  
  
Author's Note: Chapter 3 is short and so is this one so I figured I'd do a two for one thing today. Please Review!  
  
  
Chapter 4  
A Different Kind of Attack  
  
  
Tommy would forever remember the first attack Jason had. The image would forever be burned into his mind and seared into his soul. Dr. Johnson had told him because Jason was only on a low medication, at Jason's insistence, the attacks would be more brutal. Dr. Johnson had left a small packet of morphine shots and instructions on how to use them. It was simple, or at least it sounded simple, take off the cap and stick the needle into Jason's thigh quickly. It worked almost like an EPI-PEN which Tommy knew how to use. Tommy only hoped he wouldn't have to use them...but he did have to.   
  
Tommy had been making dinner for himself when Jason cried out. Tommy rushed into Jason's room and froze. He felt tears well up in his eyes and his heart was caught be an icy hand of fear. Tommy wanted to run away from this sight but his time as the leader of the Power Rangers made him stay, as well as his loyalty to Jason. Tommy had seen a lot but seeing his best friend in such unbearable pain made Tommy ache in his very soul.  
  
Jason's body was rocked with convulsions. Pain spasms ripped through his being. He couldn't think of anything but the all consuming pain, his mind was completely clouded. It hurt to even breath. Jason couldn't even comprehend Tommy was there. It felt as though every nerve in Jason's body was being pressed down on brutally. He tired to keep control of his body but the pain was too serve, his mind too hazy. Jason cried out---it was too much.  
  
Tommy fumbled with the cap of the morphine shot. He was panicking and couldn't manage to get it off. Tommy inwardly yelled at himself to calm down and get it together for Jason's sake. The cap came off easily then. Tommy injected the needle into Jason's thigh. Jason screamed in pain. The slightest touch was excruciating but Tommy didn't know that. Even Tommy's hand gently resting on Jason's side to steady the needle was enough to send shock waves of agony through Jason's body.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Jase." Tommy whispered as tears fell from his eyes.   
  
The medication took effect quickly. Jason's body relaxed as the spasms were dulled. The pain ebbed away and Jason's eyes grew heavy. Jason let the fight in him fade away and let conscious slide away, as unconscious was too inviting to resist at this point. Tommy quickly sat in the chair next to Jason's bed, unsure of how long his shaky legs would keep him upright. His hands were trembling badly. Tommy hated what he had just had to do and knew Jason hated being drugged just as much. Tommy's eyes stung with tears. He knew this was just the beginning.   
  
Tommy realized that he wouldn't be able to leave Jason alone now even if he wanted to. Dinner lay forgotten in the kitchen. Tommy stayed by Jason's side. Even if Jason was unable to feel it Tommy would be holding his hand...  
  
Tommy stifled a soft groan as he was reminded quite bluntly that falling asleep on a chair was never a good thing. Tommy opened his eyes, realizing he must have fallen asleep sometime during the night.  
  
"Morning." Jason said softly.  
  
"Morning." Tommy returned looking at his friend who was leaning against the back board of the bed. "How long have you been up?"  
  
"Not long." Jason replied.  
  
"You could have woken me up." Tommy said softly.  
  
"I didn't want to, you needed to sleep as much as I did." Jason remarked. "Were you there all night?" Tommy nodded. "You could have left."  
  
"I didn't want to, I couldn't leave you Jase, not after that." Tommy replied.  
  
"That means a lot to me, Tommy." Jason said softly. Jason paused as if coming to a decision about something. "I think...I think I'm going to get Dr. Johnson to prescribe the heavy pain killers. He offered to, even told me it was the best thing for me, and I'm going to take him up on it."  
  
Tommy was surprised, "But you hated being on pain killers when you were in the hospital."  
  
"I know. I hate being on them because being on them means I'm no longer in control. But those attacks are going to come more and more often without the drugs. I'm in less control off the drugs than when I'm on them." Jason sighed, knowing that this truly was the beginning of the end for him. "I can't put you or myself through that any more."  
  
"Are you doing this for me or yourself, Jason?" Tommy asked softly.  
  
"Both. I guess," Jason exhaled slowly, "I guess I'm so stubborn about the heavier pain killers because it means I'll be dependant on drugs, and let's face it that even sounds bad. The attacks will just get more and more frequent if I don't go on drugs through. They take to much out of me and I know they hurt you too. I can see it in your eyes that last night hurt."  
  
"Are you sure about this?" Tommy asked knowing already Jason was set on the conclusion he had come to.  
  
"Yes. At least...At least I'll get to keep a little of my dignity." Jason tried to smile but failed miserably. "I'm going to talk to Dr. Johnson when he comes today. I'll get him to explain everything to me so I understand what's going on. It gives me a little say in what happens; I want that much."  
  
"Okay, if this is what you want." Tommy said after a few seconds, knowing it was one of the last things Jason wanted, but that he didn't have many other choices.  
  
A short silence fell between the two friends until Tommy spoke, deciding they needed to do something to lighten the mood, "I'll take you out to breakfast before Dr. Johnson gets here and hooks you up to an IV."  
  
A grin lit Jason's face, he was glad Tommy would at least try to keep things light, and he appreciated the offer even though Jason knew he would hardly be able to eat anything, "Good idea. Betcha I'm ready before you." Jason challenged.  
  
"You're on." Tommy letting Jason's contagious smile spread over his own face. 


	5. A Costly Mistake

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em!  
  
Author's Note: The mature thing to do would be ignore the rude review I received from someone who did not even have the gall to sign anonymous instead of a name. But I'm not that mature yet, seeing as I've only recently relinquised standing as a minor. (If you want to know about my 'legal' button just ask!) Why must negative, silly reviews always be so long and usually badly written? In the spirit of the so eloquent "THIS STORY SUCKS!" I'll respond with three words: Bite me, jerkoff! That said I'd like to thank my previous thankees and especially to everyone who has had something nice to say in their review!   
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
A Costly Mistake  
  
  
Tommy sighed as he put down the book he had been trying to read and blankly stared at a picture of Jason, himself, Billy, and Zack taken just before Jason and Zack had left for Switzerland. Tommy knew he would have failed miserably as leader if Jason hadn't been there to give him advice the first few weeks. Tommy had, at first, been scared to death of making a mistake that would cost more than he was willing to pay. Jason was the only one who really understood what he was feeling. And after Jason left the phone calls and frequent letters gave Tommy both the confidence and the sometimes needed advice that helped him succeed as leader of the Power Rangers.   
  
Now, Jason was the one who needed support, the one who needed a shoulder to lean on. Tommy was willing to give it without question. But Jason knew his best friend well enough to see Tommy was hurting and let Tommy know it was okay to let his strength down. Tommy would cry, and had since the diagnoses, in front of Jason and only Jason. Sometimes, without meaning to let their positions reverse, Tommy would find Jason was comforting him while Tommy cried over losing his best friend.  
  
The first time it had happened, about a week after the diagnoses, Tommy felt a rush of shame and guilt. But Jason, who was even then beginning to show signs of being ill, had assured him it was alright. Jason had even felt guilty since he had told Tommy and no one else. That put Tommy in a bad position since he could talk to no one but Jason about what seeing Jason begin to waste away was doing to him.  
  
Tommy sighed getting up and walking into Jason's room. It helped Tommy to just sit with him. Even if Jason couldn't know he was there. He lay sleeping now and for a second Tommy watched his chest rise and fall with each even breath. Dr. Johnson had given him the first dosage of the heavier pain medication and it had made Jason drowsy. The doctor had assured him that it was only because his body wasn't used to being on drugs of this caliber and that the drowsy effect would soon lessen if not disappear.  
  
Taking a seat in the chair beside Jason's bed Tommy let his mind wander. He thought back to the times when Jason had come through for him in a jam. Destroying the Sword of Darkness which freed him from Rita's spell, accepting him into the group with open arms---both on the battle field and off, helping him when he was losing the Green Ranger powers, being there when he lost them completely no matter how hard Tommy tried to push him away, Jason leaving Switzerland to take the Gold Ranger Powers, helping him regain his memory when Gasket had erased it...There were so many moments like those. Tommy knew he owed a lot to Jason.  
  
Tommy leaned back and ran a hand through his long hair. The best memories were a mix of Jason helping him when he was in trouble, vise versa and then the ones of all the good times whether Ranger or not. Picnics with the other original Rangers, all day hikes with Billy and Zack, working on school projects together, teaching karate classes together, camping trips with everyone, camping trips with just the two of them, starting up their Dojo, seeing it become a success...There were more good memories than Tommy could possibly count.  
  
Tommy sighed, wishing Jason would wake up. Adam was coming over after his last class in about an hour so Tommy could get some sleep. But Tommy wanted to be there when Jason woke up, knowing how much Jason detested being on drugs, it was important for him to be there with his friend. And Tommy just wanted to talk with his best friend. Jason had made it clear and fears, sorrows, uncertainties---anything Tommy needed to talk about he could still talk about with him, even if it was about Jason's fragile and rapidly failing health. Tommy had taken Jason up on the offer several times, feeling guilty the first time but never after that.  
  
Tommy gently took Jason's hand in his knowing that all too soon the time would come when he would have to say good bye forever. To Tommy's surprise Jason's eyes fluttered open slowly. But there was something in them that made Tommy worry about his friend.  
  
"Hey, Jase." Tommy said softly feeling Jason squeeze his hand.  
  
"...Tommy...something is ...wrong..." Jason mumbled trying to form the words properly.  
  
Tommy froze hearing the distress in Jason's voice and tried to keep his voice low and soothing, "Can you tell me what's wrong?"  
  
"...sick...hot...dizzy..." Jason moaned before closing his eyes again.   
  
Tommy gently put his hand on Jason's forehead and was horrified to find it burning with a fever. He noticed the unhealthy flush of colour on Jason's cheeks as he groped for the phone and quickly dialled Dr. Johnson's cell number. Jason could hear Tommy talking and opened his eyes to see his friend speaking frantically into the phone but the words were fuzzy and he couldn't quite make them out. As Tommy hung up the phone he noticed Jason looking at him and hurried to reassure his friend.  
  
"Dr. Johnson is coming right now, Jase. Everything is going to be okay." Tommy said as soothingly as he could manage while he was panicking inside.  
  
Jason only moaned softly in response, drifting back into a feverish sleep. The next time he managed to lift his heavy eyelids he saw Dr. Johnson peering over him while Tommy stood anxiously to the side.  
  
"...what...wrong..." Jason mumbled almost incoherently.  
  
Tommy was at Jason's side almost at once now that Jason was awake. Dr. Johnson looked from Tommy to Jason quickly, knowing what he was about to say would hurt them both. He hadn't failed to notice the odd relationship between the two young men. It actually reminded him of the relationship he had with his twin brother and knowing how he would take this news made Dr. Johnson almost cringe.  
  
"It seems that Jason has a bad reaction to the medication he is on. It's an allergic reaction which is very strange because he was on the same medication for a short time when he was eight after he was in a car crash with his parents." Dr. Johnson replied. "There's something in his bloodstream now that is reacting to the medication."  
  
"What do we do?" Tommy asked softly already assuming what that something was. Rangering had effected them in many emotional ways it was probable it had changed them physically as well, even if only slightly.  
  
Dr. Johnson sighed dreading the giving the answer, "There is nothing that can be done. It will take about twenty four hours before the medication works its way out of Jason's system. Until then he will be feverish and probably sick at some point. I'll have the lab at the hospital start testing a blood sample of Jason's we have with different kinds of medication until we find one he's compatible with. He's still going to need to be on medication after this one has gotten out of his system."  
  
Tommy looked down at Jason seeing that he had drifted to sleep again, the roller coaster ride his body was going through made it almost impossible for him to stay awake for long. The fever induced flush on Jason's cheeks did not conceal the fact that he had turned paler in the last hour. Tommy realized that this would have a bigger effect than twenty four hours of Jason feeling ill.  
  
"What does this do to Jason's condition?" Tommy asked swallowing the lump in his throat. Dr. Johnson's sad look only made Tommy's hopes fall further.  
  
"I'm sorry to tell you this but it will make him considerably worse. Being ill like this in Jason's already weak condition is very serious. It will make him weaker and the fever will be able to reek havoc of what's left with his immune system. Because his body is already fragile the cancer will be able to spread more quickly. It will shorten the time he has left." Dr. Johnson saw the crushed look in the young man's eyes that he quickly shoved aside.  
  
"To what?" Tommy managed.   
  
"A week or so is the best to hope for. In the worst case scenario it could kill him," Dr. Johnson replied softly, hating his job at that moment.  
  
The shock and dismay on Tommy's face couldn't be hidden no matter how hard Tommy tried. 'More than a month broken down into a week or less?' Tommy thought to himself. 'That's not enough time! There were still things Jason wanted to do! The other guys weren't going to come for another two weeks. Aisha was coming early just because it was the only plane she could get. We haven't even got in touch with Billy yet and have no idea how to. Jason parents...they said they needed some time to absorb everything. I don't even know where they are right now!'  
  
"I need to make some phone calls." Tommy said in a hoarse whisper. "Is there anything else I should know?"  
  
"There are a few things you need to be prepared for..." Dr Johnson began slowly knowing that this mistake would hurt both his patient and Jason's friends, especially Tommy.  
  
Tommy had been sitting with Jason ever since Dr. Johnson left. He had called Adam and then Rocky who had both come over until Adam had had to leave for a class he was teaching. Now Rocky was in the living room making phone calls while Tommy sat with Jason, using a cold cloth to try and keep the fever down.  
  
From time to time Jason would stir in his sleep and had woken up a few times. Tommy thought it was better if Jason slept through this. He was barely conscious when he was awake and in pain. His best friend looking so very helpless tore at Tommy's heart. It was all Tommy could do not to break down into tears as Jason shuddered softly even in sleep.  
  
Jason shivered as he moved restlessly, rousing to a semi-conscious state. He wished the feeling that was beginning to form in the pit of his stomach would go away and let him drift back asleep but had a feeling it wasn't going to.  
  
"Try to sleep, Jase." Tommy's soft, soothing voice filtered into Jason's consciousness. But Jason's eyes snapped open and he looked slightly more alert than he had during the few times he had awakened to semi-consciousness before.  
  
"Tommy...going to...throw up..." Jason managed to mumble already feeling the bile rise up in his throat.  
  
Tommy had known this would happen---Dr. Johnson had warned him about it. Jason was too weak and sick to sit up on his own, let alone get to the bathroom in time. All Tommy could do was guide Jason towards the large pot he had brought into the room, which he was now holding under Jason's mouth. Jason's body heaved violently as he began to retch into the pot.  
  
Rocky, who had been calling everyone since he got there, came into the room to see what was wrong. He paled considerably when he saw what was happening. Hesitating for a moment, Rocky crept closer to help. He took the pot out of Tommy's hands, holding it for Jason so Tommy could offer Jason some comfort. Tommy managed to hold Jason's body close enough to stop the wild thrashing Jason had no control over. Tears streaked Jason's feverish cheeks, partly from the pain but mostly due to the shame this caused.  
  
"Shh. It's alright, it's alright." Tommy began repeating trying to soothe Jason. Jason couldn't speak, he could barely gasp for air between gagging.  
  
Slowly, after about ten minutes, the convulsions began to let up. Tommy stroked Jason's hair gently, trying to calm him after that experience. Jason felt more exhausted and sick than he ever had. His body still shuddering softly, Jason slipped back into a fitful sleep. But that wasn't a complete relief, his body shook with spasms even unconsciousness couldn't suppress. They weren't as bad now; he was no longer throwing up. That was something, wasn't it?  
  
Rocky barely managed to set the pot down before racing from the room and throwing up in the bathroom himself. Tommy winced at the sound and managed to settle his own churning stomach for the time being. Tommy took the pot into the kitchen and washed it out before joining Rocky. It was a good thing Rocky had the sense to get out of the way because Tommy couldn't hold his flip flopping stomach any longer.  
  
'If this feels bad just think of how Jason must feel', Rocky thought to himself as he looked away. Watching Jason vomit had been bad enough, Rocky didn't think he could take seeing anyone else throw up. Rocky only looked back at his former leader when he heard the toilet flush and the tap start running. Tommy had gone paler than usual under his tan. 'After seeing that I don't blame him!' Rocky thought knowing he probably didn't look too hot himself. His own knees were shaking and he felt a little faint. Growing up with seven siblings, Rocky had seen people being sick before but he had never thought he would see Jason, one of the strongest guys he knew, so powerless---so helpless and it filled him with a sense of dread and sadness.  
  
"Are you okay?" Rocky asked weakly as Tommy splashed washed on his face.  
  
"I don't think anyone could be okay after seeing that." Tommy confessed, drying his face slowly as he tried to gain some composure.  
  
"Is that what the pain attacks are like?" Rocky asked quietly. Tommy hesitated for a second; he had only told Adam and Rocky that the pain attacks were bad---not how bad they were.  
  
"Yes, only...only the two pain attacks he's had have been worse. He hasn't thrown up during one yet but he's in so much pain..." Tommy trailed off feeling tears come to his eyes. "I can't even touch him to comfort him during the attacks. It hurts him too much. I learned that during the first attack..."  
  
Tommy choked back a sob but managed to keep tears from spilling over. Rocky placed a comforting hand on Tommy's shoulder, feeling guilty for bringing the obviously sensitive and painful subject up.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tommy. I didn't mean to make you think of it...I...I'm so sorry." Rocky stammered out the apology hastily.  
  
"It's okay. You didn't know. I never told you and Adam about the attacks. I probably should have but...I just didn't know what to say or how to explain it." Tommy replied softly. "And I don't want you to ever see one of those attacks. They are too horrible. I won't put anyone else through seeing them."  
  
Rocky was secretly glad of that decision and looked at the man he had once called leader with even more respect than he would have thought possible before that experience, "Jason is lucky to have you as a friend. We all are." Rocky said finally.  
  
Tommy smiled weakly at the person who had been Jason's successor at one point and looked carefully at him. Rocky had gone slightly pale because of what they had witnessed. "Are you going to be okay? I would understand if you wanted to leave for awhile."  
  
"I'll be fine. Seeing Jason like that is just hard to deal with. I'm staying until Adam gets here, at least." Rocky replied leaving no room for even Tommy to argue.   
  
"Alright," Tommy said as Tommy made his way back to sit with Jason and Rocky started towards the living room to make more phone calls.  
  
Tommy watched his friend head down the hall for a split second before speaking again, "Hey Rocko."  
  
"Yeah," Rocky replied looking at Tommy.  
  
"Thanks." Tommy said managing another brave smile. Tommy went to sit with Jason again as Rocky picked up where he left off, phoning their friends, the former Rangers and letting them know the bad news. 


	6. Return of An Old Friend

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just borrow them every now and again.   
  
Author's Note: To all the previous thankees, consider yourselves thanked again! And special thanks to Shawn for writing such a lovely review after anonymous soured the page with his/her blabbering. I usually update every Friday but if I don't get at least two reviews I'm going to assume no one is interested and not post the next chapter. If you want more you gotta let me know!  
  
  
Chapter 6  
Return of an Old Friend  
  
  
Twenty four hours came and went. Jason was in a feverish delirium for most of it. The time he spent slightly coherent was when he was retching uncontrollably. Some disgusting twist of fate made him more aware during that time than the rest of the time. Tommy could see in Jason's eyes how ashamed he felt and all he could do was try to offer him comfort in his gentle words. Adam and Rocky had stayed in intervals for the entire time. Rocky responded more calmly to Jason throwing up than Adam did. Adam had a terrible time seeing that and had been sick himself for quite awhile afterward. Tommy could tell Jason was sorry they had to see him that way. Jason was sorry any of their former teammates had to see him like this.  
  
All of those teammates had been informed of what was happening and all of them we're going to be on the first available plane to Angel Grove.  
  
All of them, save one.  
  
"We need to contact Billy." Tommy said glancing toward the closed door that lead to where Jason lay sleeping, letting the last of the drugs out of his system. Tommy would have been sitting with him at that moment but this was something they needed to address quickly, before it was too late. Rocky nodded, agreeing fully with their former leader.   
  
"He and Billy were---are really close, I mean they've known each other for most of their lives." Adam added briefly wondering what would happen if Rocky, his best friend since kindergarten, died without him getting to say good bye. The thought of that happening made him shudder slightly but the other two were so caught up in their own thoughts they didn't notice.  
  
"But how are we going to get in touch with him? I mean, you can't call long distance to Aquitar." Rocky mentioned. "And we don't have Zordon's technology to send a message there either."  
  
"No we don't." Adam said speaking up, "But I know someone who does."  
  
Half and hour later Adam walked into the crowded Surf Spot trying to find five distinct people in the mass that flocked to the local hangout. He didn't have to look hard; the Space Rangers were at their table. 'Just like the we had our table in the Youth Centre', Adam mused to himself.  
  
"Hey, isn't that Adam?" Cassie asked seeing the Carlos' predecessor walk in.  
  
"Yeah, we haven't seen any of those guys around lately. But we haven't been around much lately either." Carlos added.  
  
"Adam was replaced by Carlos, right?" Andros asked. The current Space Rangers had outlined the 'graduation' to him and who the former Rangers were. He had met Adam before and had been briefly introduced to Rocky but the Rangers had been called into battle so the meeting was short.  
  
"Hey Adam, pull up a chair." TJ offered with a friendly smile. Adam returned the smile with his own but his was hollow.  
  
"I need to ask a favour of you concerning contacting someone on another planet." Adam said quietly in all seriousness. Carlos looked slightly shocked as did the other Rangers but nodded.  
  
"Let's go for a walk then. This place is, um, pretty crowded." Carlos mentioned.  
  
Soon enough they came across a deserted part of the park. All eyes turned to Adam now.  
  
"What's up, Adam? What do you need? There's nothing wrong, is there?" Carlos asked when he was sure there was no one around.  
  
"There is something wrong but it's not with me." Adam sighed. "I need you to send a message to Aquitar asking Billy Cranston to come home for a few weeks, at least."  
  
"That can be arranged, but why do you need him to come to Earth?" Andros asked, not wanting to send for someone unless it was a necessity.   
  
"Do you guys know who Jason Lee Scott is?" Adam asked softly. TJ, Cassie, Carlos and Ashley nodded, they had heard the former Rangers talk of him and had seen him around a few times. They had nothing but respect for the former Rangers, Jason and those they hadn't met included.  
  
"The original leader of the Earth Rangers?" Andros asked somewhat surprised. Adam looked at the current Red Ranger in shock. There was a distinct tone of awe in his voice.   
  
"Yes, how do you know him?" Adam asked.  
  
"Tommy Oliver and Jason Lee Scott are considered to be two of the best leaders the Power Rangers have seen. They were always Zordon's most prized warriors, especially when they were working together." Andros replied.  
  
Adam suddenly felt like bursting into tears. 'Great, just great! What does that get Jason now?! NOTHING!' Carlos noticed the sudden change in Adam's face. A shadow had fallen over the brown eyes that glisten slightly with unshed tears.  
  
"What's wrong with Jason? Why do you need Billy to come back?" Ashley asked softly.   
  
"Jason is dying." Adam finally replied in a strange voice. "He hasn't got much time left. Billy is one of Jason's oldest friends, we have to get in touch with Billy to let him know and so they can say good  
bye to each other."  
  
"What?" Cassie managed. "How?"   
  
"Cancer. It's gotten really bad now. It started out in Jason's lungs and it's spread all over. It's only been a few months since he was diagnosed. The cancer was too far advanced to do anything about it from the beginning." Adam felt tears in his eyes, they never seemed to far away these days. "There's nothing left to do but make him comfortable. We've gotten in touch with everyone but Billy. They'll both be upset if they can't say good bye."  
  
"Oh, my God. There wasn't anything anyone could do for him?" Ashley whispered. 'Rangers don't die like this', She thought, 'If they die at all they die in battle or... Rangers just don't die like this!' Adam just shook his head.   
  
"We'll send the message to Aquitar as soon as we get back to the ship and let you know as soon as we've gotten a reply." Andros said, knowing what it was like to lose---or almost lose, a close friend. "We'll go send the message, right now."  
  
"Thank you." Adam whispered. "It means a lot to all of us to have Billy here when Jason..."  
  
"We'll let you know the second we've got a reply, Adam." Carlos said, not minding that Adam had trailed off.  
  
With that the Rangers teleported to their ship to send the message. Adam stood there for a long time after they had gone. A lone tear streaked down his cheek. Billy was coming back but they were paying a large fare for his return, or at least that's how it seemed...  
  
Adam would never get used to the pain attacks. They weren't as bad now. Jason was on too much medication to let them get really bad now. When they came there was nothing to do but stay with him until they passed. It wasn't ever pretty but Adam stayed for most of the time. At some points it became to much, Adam had had to run to the bathroom before he gagged all over the floor a few times. It was hard seeing a friend like this. Rocky was the same way; only Tommy seemed to be able to stay though anything.  
  
Adam had to leave the room during this attack. It was one of the worst ones he'd seen. Except, the ones at night, when Jason's medication dosage was cut so he could be more 'awake' during the day. Adam didn't stay in the room for those ones, and Tommy wouldn't let him or Rocky in until it was all over. Too many people overwhelmed Jason and just made it worse on him.   
  
'Those are the bad ones and I've never even seen one. Tommy won't leave Jason at night, he sleeps during the day. He said you can't even touch Jason during those attacks. That's what the morphine shots are for.' Adam shuddered briefly, not wanting to think about it.  
  
Three streaks of light in the shades of blue, black and white appeared in the living room where Adam now sat. He had been trying to regain some composure when Carlos and TJ appeared. Adam almost smiled when he saw who they had with them. Carlos and TJ said hello but left quickly, feeling out of place, almost like intruders.  
  
"Billy." Adam whispered. "It's good to see you again, I only wish the circumstances were better."  
  
Billy, who was rather pale, said softly, "I got your message but there weren't too many details. Please, tell me it's not true."  
  
"I'm sorry, Billy. I...I can't do that. I wish I could but..." Adam trailed off. Billy only nodded slowly.  
  
"How is he?" Billy asked softly.  
  
"Not so good right now." Adam closed his eyes briefly and cringed a little. "He gets pain attacks a few times a day. They aren't as bad as they used to be, at least that's what Tommy says. Jason's on more medication now, but it's still bad."  
  
"Where is he?" Billy asked knowing, he couldn't stay away. Since he got the message Billy knew he was coming back to Earth, possibly to stay. He had finished his treatments against aging a few months ago and, while things were going well with Cestria, Billy longed for his home and the people who he held dearest.  
  
"In his room, just down the hall. Tommy's with him now. I was there but I couldn't stay much longer without it getting to me." Adam admitted sheepishly. "Tommy hardly leaves Jason's side and when things get really bad Jason gets overwhelmed by anyone else."  
  
"I have to go see him." Billy said not able to stay away any longer than he already had. Adam nodded.  
  
"Alright, but I...I've got to warn you, it's not easy to see." Adam confessed. Billy just nodded. Adam lead him down the hall and opened the door to Jason's room.  
  
The first thing to greet Billy was a low moan followed by the sounds of someone retching. Billy felt as though everything that was certain had been ripped away at the site of Jason curled up in fetal position because of the pain. He didn't even have anything to throw up anymore, they were just dry heaves that caused his throat to burn and his body to shudder in painful spasms.   
  
Tommy glanced up at Billy from the midnight eyes he held with his own. Jason was clutching one of Tommy's hands hard, trying to keep an anchor to the world. With his other hand he was gently rubbing Jason's back in an effort to comfort him at least somewhat. The drugs made it able to touch Jason without causing him more pain, but they couldn't take away everything.  
  
"Oh, Jesus." Billy muttered. He quickly regained his senses and slowly walked into the room. Very cautiously and remembering what Adam had said about overwhelming Jason, Billy took a seat beside Tommy. They didn't speak, not just yet at least.  
  
As gently as Billy could he reached out and stroked Jason's hair. Jason's pain filled eyes flickered in Billy's direction.  
  
"...billy?..." Jason gasped out. Another fit of dry heaving overtook his body. The convulsions were never easy but they had gotten worse over the past day. Tommy knew the medication dosage was probably going to be upped.  
  
"I'm here, Jase." Billy whispered as he continued to stroke Jason's hair in an effort to help Tommy comfort him.   
  
Jason stiffened when Billy touched him. Billy could see that he felt ashamed, but why he wasn't entirely sure. Midnight eyes suddenly met light green ones and Jason would find nothing but kindness, compassion and acceptance in the eyes of his oldest friend. He relaxed as much as the fit allowed him to, feeling at ease with Billy being there. The only other person who had that effect on him was Tommy.  
  
Slowly the pain subsided and Jason's body became more relaxed. The murmured words of comfort from his friends and soothing actions made it hard for him to regain his senses after the attack was over. He was lulled into a peaceful sleep by Tommy and Billy, it was just what he needed after the attack, to rest.  



	7. Always A Hero

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I simply mess with them occasionally.  
  
Author's Note: Special thanks go to Shawn, Mandolin, Chica, Hanspam and Didi for restoring my faith in reviewers. I want to know who let the Ryan Ryan in here!? Ryan, if you spill the secret you are so dead meat! My mum thinks your the greatest for helping out by the way! Extra sepcial thanks for Jeni who not only puts up with my bad grammer, (Semi-colons are evil!) but you took the time to review too! I got my two reviews for the last chapter (Ryan, yours doesn't count since you were talking to me at the same time!) Can I go for two more this time? Please? If I get more than two reviews than I'll post the next chapter next Friday but if I don't you might have to wait two weeks until exams are over, okay? Enjoy!  
  
  
Chapter 7  
Always A Hero  
  
  
Tommy saw Jason had fallen asleep; he had gotten very good at sensing these things. But Billy continued to stroke Jason's hair gently, unaware that he had drifted off. Tommy looked at Billy sadly, tears were glistening in his eyes, but the sandy haired young man remained composed.  
  
"He's asleep, Billy." Tommy said softly.  
  
"Does that...does it happen often?" Billy asked in a smaller voice than Tommy could ever remember him using before.   
  
Tommy nodded, knowing better than to lie to Billy, "Yes, I'm guessing the pain killers will be upped soon. Probably the next time Dr. Johnson comes. We had to make sure Jason wouldn't have an allergic reaction to this medication as well so he was only given a low dose."  
  
"Oh." Was the only reply Billy had. They sat there for a few minutes, both gazing at Jason's sleeping figure. Finally, Billy turned to Tommy, tears glistening in his eyes.  
  
"Why is this happening, Tommy?" Billy asked softly. "Jason...he's one of the most caring people I know. He saved my life before and not only when I was a Power Ranger."  
  
Tommy at once saw the shadow that flickered across Billy's face. It was something he hadn't seen before. Various depths of grief had been experienced when they were Rangers and just because they were friends but nothing like this had come to his attention before.  
  
"What happened?" Tommy asked gently. Billy looked from Jason to Tommy slowly, his eyes glistening with tears. He opened his mouth to speak several times but nothing ended up coming out.  
  
"You can tell me, it's okay. I won't say anything to anyone else if you don't want me to." Tommy suggested softly.  
  
Billy nodded slowly, "What about Adam?" As if answering the question unintentionally Adam slowly opened the door, visibly relieved Jason was no longer in pain and now sleeping.  
  
"Rocky is having some trouble getting a hold of Aisha. She has a two day lay over in Washington but Rocky hasn't been able to get her on her cell phone. I'm going to go over to the Dojo and help him find her, okay?" Adam said softly having not heard Tommy and Billy speaking before. "My cell will be on."  
  
"Alright, Adam." Tommy replied. "And, please, try to get some sleep before you come back. I know you haven't been sleeping much because you're always here."  
  
Adam nodded before leaving quickly. Both Billy and Tommy heard the front door click softly as it closed behind him. Tommy looked over at Billy who was staring at his feet as tears trickled down his cheeks. He stubbornly wiped them away.  
  
"Why does he have to die?" Billy asked quietly. "I've been trying to find a reason...some explanation of why such a wonderful person would have their time cut short."  
  
Tommy sighed softly, having wondered the same thing himself many times since Jason had told him, "I don't know why. I've been asking myself why since Jason told me. I haven't come up with any answers yet."  
  
"He saved my life, Tommy. He saved my life when we were just kids." Billy whispered feeling the memory flood him.  
  
"What do you mean, Billy?" Tommy asked gently seeing a look of emotional pain that flashed across Billy's face.  
  
"I was ten...it was right after my mom died..." Billy closed his eyes as the memory of that day rushed him...   
  
***A ten year old Billy in thick rimmed black glasses and overalls stumbled over a rock as he trugded along, falling flat on his face. For a second he lay winded, the third time today he had had the wind knocked out of him. The first time had been tripping over his own feet while walking to school with Zack and Jason. Then at lunch Freddie, a boy two grades ahead of Billy, had beat him up for his lunch money. Billy's face went red with embarrassment. He had been winded when Freddie smashed him into the lockers. Jason had come to his aid once again and had received a nasty black eye from it. Freddie had been no match for Jason's karate skills but he had gotten that one good punch in.   
  
'It doesn't matter,' Billy thought with a twinge of guilt, 'Jason won't have to stick up for me anymore.' Picking himself off the ground Billy continued on his way. It wasn't much further now, Billy could see the edge coming up. Billy dropped his back pack by a rock and sat down, staring at the edge of the steep drop. Billy took out a piece of line paper; he always had it in spades for school, and a pen.  
  
'I should have done this before I got here,' Billy thought feeling tears prick the back of his eyes, 'It would have been easier that way. It's not like I have a lot of people to say good bye to anyway. Zack, Kim, Jason and my dad. Maybe I should write something for Mrs. Appleby---she always seems to care. But that's her job, she probably won't even notice I'm gone after long.'   
  
Pinning the short note neatly to his back pack Billy got up and slowly walked to the ledge. Tears began to stream down his face as Billy looked down, knowing he wouldn't survive the drop. Billy took a deep breath trying desperately to steady himself and stop crying. Closing his eyes Billy got ready to simply take a step forward and end all the pain.  
  
"BILLY! DON'T!" A familiar voice shouted in shock from behind him.  
  
Billy whirled around to face the person he considered his best friend. He had been so absorbed with the task at hand he hadn't even heard Jason approach until Jason had yelled to him after he had spotted Billy. Jason had gone pale when he saw his friend ready to jump as he emerged from the bushes.  
  
"Go away, Jason. I don't want you to watch me do this." Billy said his voice wavering.  
  
"No, you'll jump if I leave." Jason whispered beginning to inch closer to his friend so slowly that Billy, almost blinded by his tears, wouldn't notice.   
  
"I'm jumping either way but I don't want you to see it." Billy retorted turning back around and gazing downward. "Please, Jason go."  
  
"Don't jump, Billy." Jason pleaded. "Turn around and walk to me. Please, don't jump."  
  
"Why do you care?" Billy asked his voice colder than Jason had ever heard it. "You'll still have Zack and Kim. You just won't have to help me when everyone beats me up now."  
  
"Billy, you're my best and oldest friend. I don't want to lose you. I don't care if I have to face Bruce Lee himself if he was picking on you, I wouldn't let him." Jason replied, slowly getting closer to Billy, who was losing his gusto now.  
  
"Why? Why do you care about me?" Billy choked out. "You're one of the most popular people in our class and yet you spend your time with a loser. Why?"  
  
"Because you are worth ten of every jerk who calls you that." Jason replied softly before switching tactics. "Think of your dad, Billy. What will he do if he loses you?"  
  
"He won't even notice. He hasn't noticed me past making sure there's enough food for me to eat since mom died." Billy replied harshly.  
  
"You know that's not true. He loves you. It would kill him to lose you too." Jason told Billy gently.  
  
Billy let out a choked sob, "No one loves me. I'm little wimpy, geeky Billy. No one could love me."  
  
"I love you, Billy! You're my best friend! I've known you since before I can remember! Kim and Zack love you! Your dad loves you! My parents love you, they think of you as a second son!" Jason was almost beside Billy know. Just an inch more and Jason would be able to get a hold of him. "Please, Billy, I care about you too much to lose you. Take my hand. Please, don't jump."  
  
Billy hesitated for a second. Then he turned and slowly put his trembling, cold hand into Jason's warm hand. Jason pulled Billy towards him, wrapping Billy in a fierce embrace. Billy broke down into sobs as Jason moved Billy and himself back away from the edge. Jason managed to sit down sit holding Billy close to him.  
  
"Shh. It's okay, it's okay." Jason soothed as he rocked the weeping boy in his arms.  
  
"Don't leave me. Please, don't leave me." Billy sobbed as he buried his face in Jason's shirt.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Billy. I won't leave you, ever, I promise." Jason gently smoothed Billy's hair, something Jason's mum had always done when Jason was upset. "Hush now, it's alright. It's going to be alright."  
  
Billy clung to Jason as if his life depended on it and loud sobs shook his body. Jason was almost glad Billy had buried his face in his shirt as tears had began to stream down his face as well. Jason was terrified of how close he had come to losing Billy. If he had arrived a few seconds later it would have been too late. Because of that fear Jason returned the embrace without a thought to it. Holding Billy's trembling body close Jason rocked them back and forth as he murmured soothing words to comfort Billy.   
  
Eventually Billy began to calm down. Jason slowly stopped rocking and rubbed Billy's back instead. Billy rested his head on Jason's broad shoulder. For a long time they sat there in silence, Billy hiccuping now that the tears had stopped and Jason rubbing Billy's back.  
  
"Jase?" Billy said in a shaky voice.  
  
"Yeah, Billy?" Jason replied, looking down at Billy's pale face and into his puffy red eyes. Billy was startled to see tear streaks on Jason's face that he didn't seem to be the least bit ashamed of.  
  
"Thank you." Billy whispered lying his head back on Jason's shoulder. Billy felt so safe at that moment he didn't want to do anything to wreck it.  
  
"Don't mention it. After all, what are friends for?" Jason managed a shaky smile that warmed Billy's heart. Sighing softly in slight relief Jason hugged the smaller, younger boy close. "I want you to promise me you will never, never, resort to trying this again."  
  
"It's hard sometimes. Especially now that my mum's gone..." Billy whispered.  
  
"I know it must be hard but if you're ever in trouble, any type of trouble you can always come to me. No matter what happens I'll be here to help you." Jason looked down at Billy, his dark brown eyes finding Billy's light green eyes and making them hold his gaze. "Promise me you will never do anything to intentionally hurt yourself."  
  
"I promise, Jason." Billy whispered solemnly.  
  
Jason let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and hugged Billy close again, "I don't think I could lose you, Billy. You're my little bro, after all."  
  
Billy snuggled closer to Jason smiling fondly at the nick name. Billy had gone to that ledge thinking it was too hard to go on, that no one really cared and would come away from it with renewed faith in himself. Through Billy's eyes that day Jason was a hero, his hero. The younger boy would always hold his 'big brother' with that regard, no matter what happened the fact remained...***   
  
  
"...I would have jumped that day if Jason hadn't been there to stop me. He saved my life." Billy whispered staring down at the floor so he wouldn't have to look Tommy in the face.   
  
Tommy was stunned that Billy, one of the smartest and most together people he knew, would try to commit suicide. It was baffling to think of Billy like that and not as the confidant young man he had come to know very well. Tommy put his arm around Billy's shoulders, not knowing what else to do or say.  
  
"I know it's selfish of me but I don't want Jason to leave me...I don't want him to break his promise." Billy whispered.  
  
Tommy opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a low moan. Jason was stirring slightly, fighting to regain consciousness. Tommy drew away from Billy just a little to put a hand on Jason's shoulder, giving him an anchor to pull himself awake with. It was enough to steady Jason. Jason's eyes blinked open slowly, looking at Tommy and then to Billy. A wide grin lit up his weary face. Billy didn't know whether to smile or cry at the delight in Jason's eyes from seeing his old friend. Billy knew Jason was dying but the spark in his eyes had not faded, not yet.  
  
"You're really here." Jason whispered hoarsely. "I thought for a second it had just been a dream. We didn't know if we would be able to get a hold of you."  
  
Billy felt a lump in his throat and couldn't find his voice to speak but Jason didn't seem to mind, "Tommy, can you help me sit up?" Jason requested.  
  
Tommy obliged, carefully helping Jason into a sitting position. Leaning back against the back board Jason closed his eyes briefly to fight away the aches and pains that were always there. Tommy saw Billy wipe away a tear discreetly and knew the two of them needed to  
talk.   
  
"I'm going to go take a shower." Tommy decided, using it as an excuse to leave them alone for awhile, "I'll be just down the hall if you need me."  
  
Jason understood what Tommy was doing even if he was trying to be discreet, and nodded. Billy wasn't sure he wanted Tommy to leave. He felt a pang of hurt as he realized he didn't know what to say to his oldest friend. But Tommy left the room before Billy could  
think up a reason to protest him leaving.  
  
"I'm really glad you're here, Billy." Jason said looking his friend in the eye.  
  
"I wanted it all to be a sick joke. I didn't think it could be real." Billy whispered forcing down the lump in his throat.  
  
"I know, when the doctor told me I didn't want to believe it." Jason smiled sadly.  
  
"There wasn't anything that could have been done?" Billy asked feeling tears well up in his eyes.  
  
"Nothing that would have helped me. Chemo might have given me a few more months if I had started it right from the beginning but..." Jason began.  
  
"Why didn't you do it then?" Billy tried to keep the anger and shock out of his voice but it didn't work well.  
  
"We both know what kind of life I would have had left if I had chosen to do the chemotherpy." Jason replied, knowing some part of Billy would understand how sick and miserable he would have been.  
  
"But it would have given you more time!" Billy couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. He couldn't believe that Jason hadn't wanted the chemotherapy, that he had given up.  
  
"I would have been sick the whole time. I would have become more of a burden than I already am." Jason replied softly.   
  
"You would have been alive longer! Doesn't that matter to you?! Why did you give up?!" Billy exclaimed, letting his anger at the situation get the better of him.  
  
"Dammit Billy! I thought you would understand! The chemo would have made me physically ill. It would have bought me maybe seven months, if I was lucky, but I would have been in and out of the hospital, in pain and physically sick. I would have been as sick as I was when I had an allergic reaction to the pain killers and I refused to spend my last months of existence like that!" Jason retorted.  
  
Billy started to say something but Jason wasn't finished yet, "I did not give up! Do not accuse me of giving up because I have never and will never give up! But I am dying, Billy! And there is nothing that can stop that! There is nothing anyone can do about it! Face it! I had to! I don't want to die but I can't control it. But I could control what kind of life I would have until I died. If I had done the chemotherapy I wouldn't have really been living for my last months! You want to know what I'm fighting for now? To stay alive long enough to see all my friends on last time."  
  
"You promised me you would always be there for me!" Billy broke down into gasping sobs. "I'm stupid and selfish and should be doing something to help but all I can think of is that you aren't going to be there for me anymore. You're leaving me! You promised me you'd never leave me!"   
  
Jason's angry expression softened as Billy dissolved into sobs. Jason quickly drew Billy into a warm hug. Billy immediately reacted to the embrace, hugging Jason for all he was worth, not realizing it caused Jason more pain. Billy didn't notice his friend stiffen before he was able to fight away the throbbing aches that threatened to overtake him. Billy's sobs drowned out the soft whimper that escaped Jason's lips. Nor did Billy notice the muscle and weight loss Jason had suffered because of the cancer and the reaction to the medication. The once strong arms were still reassuring and comforting to him.  
  
"You're not stupid or selfish, Billy." Jason soothed his weeping friend. "You wouldn't feel this way if you didn't care about me."  
  
"You're my little bro," Jason said softly. Billy managed a shaky grin through his tears at the fond nickname from when they were children, "I'm supposed to protect you. I know I'm breaking my promise. I wish I didn't have to and I'm truly sorry I have to leave you. I don't want to."  
  
Billy pulled away slightly still letting Jason keep his arms around him but loosening his grip. Jason was thankful for that even though he wouldn't show it, or show that Billy's arms had caused him pain. Billy was not all that surprised to see the tears making their way down Jason's face. Jason managed to compose himself a little and spoke again.  
  
"I want you to remember that no matter what happens I will always, always be with you. Not in the same way anymore but I will still be with you in spirit. I'll watch over you, I promise you that." Jason said drawing his friend closer even through it caused him pain. That time Billy felt the wince Jason couldn't suppress and he drew back in horror.  
  
"I hurt you." Billy whispered horrified he had caused Jason physical pain.  
  
"Not really..." Jason managed softly looking his friend in the eyes. He addressed the shame and sorrow in them quickly, "Billy, I would bear a thousand times this pain before it stopped me from hugging you and the others. I need the contact as much as you do."  
  
"I'm sorry." Billy whispered. Jason smiled softly at his friend.   
  
"There's no need to be. I don't mind the bit of pain that's caused by my friends hugging me. I can live with the pain but I don't think I want to live without being able to hug you guys." Jason told him.  
  
Very tentatively Billy let Jason's arms wrap around him. Billy felt Jason suppress a cringe and almost pulled away but a stronger sense of need coming from both himself and Jason made him stay put. Billy let his head rest against Jason's shoulder gently, scared of causing him more pain. After a few minutes Billy relaxed in Jason's arms as Jason gently stroked Billy's hair like Billy had done for him before. Billy sobbed softly on Jason's shoulder trying in vain to contain his tears. He would find no contempt or anger in Jason's embrace, only comfort and compassion. It gave Billy strength during the hard times ahead---especially the ones where he wouldn't have the reassuring arms to comfort him. 


	8. Moments Like This

Disclaimer: I still don't own them and pending some weird occurance I never will!  
  
Author's Note: I got my two reviews so I'm taking time off from studying stupid evil physics to post this. I'm just back from writing an essay and a short story in an hour and a half. (Don't ya' just love English?!) Next week I may be in a bad mood since we're getting our marks and I seriously doubt I'll be happy with my math mark. You can cheer me up by reviewing! :-)   
  
  
Chapter 8  
Moments Like This  
  
  
After talking to Billy Jason had been exhausted but Dr. Johnson had come to give him a check up. Jason endured the brief explanations about the new pain medications well and had a few of his own questions about the new medications. Everyone was worried about him having another allergic reaction. After Dr. Johnson had reassured him, as well as Tommy and Billy, and had left, Jason had fallen asleep almost immediately. When he woke up Tommy was reading a book, having returned to his faithful post at Jason's bedside.  
  
"How ya feeling, bro?" Tommy asked softly instantly realizing Jason was awake.  
  
"Pretty good, all things considered." Jason replied in a slightly hoarse voice. The new drugs had kicked in when Jason had been sleeping and he was feeling better than he had before.  
  
"I'm surprised I haven't gone stir crazy lying in this bed for most of these last few days but other than that, I'm feeling okay, better than I was before at least." Jason paused for a second before speaking again, "Where's Billy? Is he okay? He looked alright when I fell asleep."  
  
"Billy went to let his dad know he was home and what's happening here. He's a little shook up but he's better than when he first found out." Tommy replied, knowing the fact that this hurt Billy and their other friends was hurting Jason worse than anything else.  
  
Tommy tried to read the emotions that played across Jason's face. One of the stronger ones Tommy saw was a look of longing that he had learned to recognize well, "Since your feeling better why don't we go sit on the balcony. It's a perfect day out and you look like you could use the fresh air."  
  
Jason smiled gratefully but sadness lined the grin, "As much as I would like that I don't think I have the strength to stand."  
  
"You don't have to." Tommy told him as he wrapped Jason in a blanket to make sure he stayed warm. "I'll carry you."   
  
For a second Tommy thought Jason was going to protest but the deep brown eyes softened and Jason only nodded slowly. Swathing the warm blanket around Jason's body Tommy gently picked up the now frail figure in his arms. It was disturbing to Tommy to feel how light Jason was now. Less than a year ago Jason muscle mass would have been larger than Tommy's but that seemed like a long time ago nowadays.  
  
"You okay?" Tommy asked feeling how tense Jason's body was.  
  
"I just hate the fact you have to carry me." Jason replied softly. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate this more than I could tell you but..."  
  
"S'okay, Jase. I understand." Tommy said. "I know what you mean, I wish there was something else I could do."  
  
"Tommy, you've done more than me anyone has, ever." Jason murmured relaxing his body as much as he could for his friend's sake. The ever present pain, even when masked by medication, would not let Jason fully relax even when he was safe in the arms of his best friend.  
  
Tommy carried Jason outside onto his balcony. For a second Tommy hesitated, wondering whether to put Jason onto his own chair or keep Jason with him. Tommy knew that, though Jason wouldn't say anything, not letting him sit on his own would be a low blow to Jason's pride. Tommy settled Jason onto the reclining lawn chair before sitting in the lawn chair beside him.  
  
"This is going to be the last time I'm outside." Jason said softly taking as deep a breath of the fresh air as he could manage.  
  
"Jase..." Tommy began hating to think that this would be the last time they would have a time like this to talk, to just sit together without anything there to disturb them.  
  
"Tommy, we both know I'm not going to last much longer. I probably shouldn't even be outside at this point." Jason sighed softly.  
  
"I know, Jase, I know." Tommy said softly looking out at the park spread out below them.  
  
How long had it been since they had been able to walk through those paths together, joking and laughing, without a worry in the world? It seemed, at times, that is had been years and years ago but at other times that it had only been days. When Tommy was holding Jason's hand as he rode out another pain attack it seemed like years since Jason had been well. But at moments like this found it hard to think anything was wrong. Though Jason's body was failing him quickly his spirit still soared. It was an inner strength Tommy couldn't have imagined  
having.  
  
Jason saw Tommy begin to get lost in his own thoughts, "Talk to me, bro." Jason said looking intently at his friend.  
  
"Do you remember that time we went camping up in the mountains near the Command Centre?" Tommy asked still looking out to a place beyond the park.  
  
"Yeah, the week end before I left for the Peace Conference. God, that seems like such a long time ago." Jason replied.  
  
"I was so scared when you left. I thought I was going to fail miserably as leader, I was terrified of doing things without you around to push me in the right direction." Tommy remarked.  
  
Jason chuckled a little, "I know, you told me then and during a few phone conversations during the first weeks I was gone."  
  
"I think I upped my parents phone bill about a hundred dollars a month while you were gone," Tommy added, smiling a little.  
  
"Most of the time you forgot about the time change, too. I was half asleep most of the times you called me worried about something or other." Jason added now grinning widely.  
  
"And there was that one time I ah...interrupted you and Cleo I think her name was." Tommy chimed in.  
  
"Oh, I could have killed you for that. Do you know how hard it is to explain to a girl that you have to talk to your best friend, right now, when the two of you are preoccupied?" Jason laughed at the thought, "She was so mad at me afterward and I couldn't exactly tell her that the leader of the Power Rangers was having a crisis. She kept going on about me choosing my friends over her until I told her straight out I would always choose my friends over my girlfriend."  
  
"I'm sure that went over well." Tommy commented sarcastically.  
  
"Actually, it went over better than I had expected it to. Something about it being sweet I cared for my friends that much. She was kind of pissed off when I disappeared for a day too. Once again, telling her I teleported home wasn't really an option." Jason remarked, lightly recalling the day when Kim had sent the 'letter' to Tommy.  
  
"How did you get Zordon convinced to let you teleport anyway?" Tommy asked.  
  
How Jason had gotten Zordon to let him teleport from Switzerland after Kim dumped him had always been a mystery to him. Jason had suddenly appeared beside Tommy when Tommy had been sitting near the lake, feeling as though his world had come apart at the seams. Tommy had been stunned to see his friend and Jason had spent the better part of the day comforting his heartbroken best friend. Jason had spent the night on Tommy's bedroom floor, almost getting seen by Tommy's mom. But Tommy had needed him and Jason had been there. He had teleported back to Switzerland in the morning where Trini and Zack had been covering for him by saying he had a twenty-four hour bug.  
  
"Well, Adam called me and told me what had happened, you knew that," Jason replied. "I still had my communicator so I contacted Zordon and told him I was your best friend. I knew where you'd go and what to expect you to be like when I got there so he let me teleport here. Before he could tell me it was a misuse of the powers I told him that I had to be there for you. I just had to. He didn't argue after I said that."  
  
"You really helped me get a grip on things that day." Tommy mentioned. "You've been helping me get a grip on things ever since we first met."  
  
"Nah. I just gave you a push in the right direction a few times." Jason replied in all honesty. "You did most of the work yourself. I was just there to support you, as your friend."  
  
"Best friend." Tommy corrected softly.  
  
"Brother." Jason replied, looking at Tommy and meeting his gaze. "We're brothers in every way except biologically. We have been since that day on the beach."  
  
"I know." Tommy whispered feeling tears come to his eyes. "God, what am I going to do without you around?"  
  
"Be late more often." Jason remarked dryly. It was well known among their friends that Jason would often phone and remind Tommy about ten minutes before something so he wouldn't be late. Tommy laughed, glad for Jason's attempt to lighten the mood but the look on Jason's face told Tommy that Jason was going to bring up something serious.  
  
"Do you remember what I asked you to do that weekend?" Jason asked softly.  
  
"We promised each other a lot that weekend, Jase." Tommy reminded his best friend. It saddened Tommy to know most of those promises would go unfulfilled now.  
  
"Yeah, we did." Jason echoed sadly. "I asked you to look after Billy for me. He doesn't need it anymore, not really, but I'm still worried about him. I can't help it."  
  
"He told me, Jase. About what he tried to do when he was ten." Tommy admitted. Jason looked at Tommy for a second trying to gauge his reaction on that event. It was hard for Jason to image the scared, little boy Billy had once been in the incredible young man he knew now.  
  
"Good, someone had to know for when I'm gone." Jason said letting a sigh he hadn't known he had been holding escape. "You know why I'm worried than. Billy...I don't think he'd ever do something like that now but when something upsets him he kind of withdraws from everything and everyone and tries to work it out on his own. It's not the best thing for him to do and I don't want him cutting himself off from you guys."  
  
"I won't let him do that, Jase. I know what Billy is like, I won't let him isolate himself like he did when he gave up his powers." Tommy promised.  
  
"Thanks, if something happened to him I would never be able to forgive myself." Jason confessed. "He really doesn't need to be protected, not like he used to, and he'd probably kill me for suggesting he did, but I can't help worrying about him. He always retained the little brother image to me."  
  
"I know what you mean." Tommy replied smiling faintly. "It's like Adam. I was always worried about him going into battle and he's almost as good a fighter as I am. I know for a fact Adam can take care of himself but at first he struggled at little and it just makes him seem more..."  
  
"Vulnerable." Jason filled in for him. "I'd never doubt Billy, or Adam for that matter, but I still worry. Left over leader instincts or something like that."  
  
Tommy smiled in agreement, "I'll look after Billy, and the others, for you. I know you've always had a big brother role with them."  
  
"Thank you." Jason said softly. Hesitating for a second, Jason continued his voice slightly rough with emotion. "Tommy, about the other promises we made..."  
  
"Yeah?" Tommy prompted looking into Jason's midnight eyes.   
  
"I had planned to fulfill them." Jason whispered holding Tommy's gaze. "I wish I could fulfill them. I'm so sorry I won't be able to."  
  
"I wish you could too but we don't really have any control over this." Tommy said with a soft sigh. "I always thought you'd be my Best Man."  
  
"I wanted you to be mine." Jason remarked softly. "I don't get that chance anymore. I didn't necessarily want a family now but someday I did. I wanted three kids and a wife I loved and even the damn dog in the yard..."  
  
Tommy moved his chair closer and put his arm around Jason's shoulders gently. He had known Jason, like himself, had planned on having a family. Hell, they had, at one point, planned on being next door neighbours and teaching their kids karate together. The fact that they were cheated out of having that chance hurt, a lot, even if they had only planned it in youthful faith and idealism. Tommy could see the look of disappointment and sadness on Jason's face. Jason  
accepted the offered embrace without hesitation, not crying but letting Tommy share a little of his pain.  
  
"You would have made a good husband for someone one day, Jase, and a good father, but I think the dog would probably have been terrified of you." Tommy remarked softly.  
  
Jason laughed softly at that, which had been Tommy's sole purpose of the dog comment, "It would have been if it ever peed on the rug."  
  
Tommy chuckled as he pictured Jason yelling at a large mutt of a dog but sobered quickly when the fact that that scene could never play out crept into his thoughts. By the bittersweet expression on Jason's face they were thinking the same thing. Tommy gently tightened his arms around Jason, wishing he could take away more of the pain. Jason smiled sadly at him.  
  
"God, am I going to miss this. All of this." Jason whispered. "I wish we had this 'Ranger Reunion' for a different reason. Last time we were all together must have been the opening of our Dojo."  
  
"Yeah, that was fun, wasn't it?" Tommy grinned fondly at the memory of Jason, Rocky. Adam and himself cutting the ribbon to their brand new Dojo with all of their friends, minus Billy, gathered around, "It will never be the same again. It can't be any more. We'll always be one member short."  
  
Jason didn't reply but moved closer to Tommy trying to ignore the quick flash of pain that blinded him for a split second. The medication he was on now had all but stopped the pain attacks. Occasional flashes of pain like the one he had just had usually signalled the beginning of what would have been a pain attack had the medication not masked the pain like it did. Tommy did not miss the flinch Jason's body gave in reaction to the sudden pain.  
  
"Jase?" Tommy asked, worry creeping into his voice. Dr. Johnson had said the pain attacks would lessen considerably with the medication dosage Jason was now on but Tommy couldn't believe that until he saw it.   
  
"I'm okay." Jason managed softly, grimacing from the pain. "It's not too bad but it still hurts. It's not nearly as bad as before."  
  
"Are you sure?" Tommy asked gently trying to correctly read how deep the pain in Jason's dark eyes. Jason nodded slowly. Tommy hated to do it but he knew he should take Jason back inside the apartment. "I think I'd better get you inside. I don't want anything more to  
happen to you."  
  
"I know, Tommy, it's okay. Just give me another second. I want to remember this." Jason replied softly.   
  
Tommy nodded not wanting to speak lest his voice break on him. It was all he could do not to break into tears as he watched Jason take in everything that could be seen from the small balcony. Any site, smell, or sound that was in range was enough for Jason. Tommy only wished he could have given Jason more moments like this, enough moments to make up for the lifetime he was missing. Taking one last look at the park where they had spent countless hours of their adolescence Jason hesitated for half a second and looked up at Tommy.  
  
"Thank you for this." Jason said ever so softly.  
  
"It was as much for me as it was for you." Tommy whispered as he gathered Jason into his arms and carried the light body back into their home.  
  
Tommy sat on the edge of Jason's bed and suddenly found that he didn't want to let go of Jason. It comforted him to have Jason in his arms. It was almost as if by holding his friend like this Tommy could absorb a little more of his pain and offer a little more comfort to Jason. No matter how much he did Tommy never felt he was doing enough for Jason. Tommy couldn't save his best friend, it made him feel as though he wasn't doing every that could be done.  
  
"Stay with me, please?" Jason requested softly, bringing Tommy out of his thought.  
  
Tommy was surprised, Jason never asked him to stay. Tommy always did but Jason had never before actually asked him to, "Of course, Jase. I wasn't going to leave you anyway."  
  
"I mean, don't let go of me." Jason whispered, snuggling his head closer to Tommy's chest. "It makes me feel...safer to have you here with me."  
  
"Okay, Jase." Tommy felt tears welling in his eyes as he held Jason closer to him. For a few seconds Jason kept silent. Tommy could feel his friend's muscles spasm as Jason's whole body tensed up.  
  
Sensing Tommy's worry, Jason said softly, "It's better than before, Tommy. Much better. I'll be alright."  
  
"I just wish you didn't have to be in any pain at all." Tommy replied quietly. "I wish I could spare you that."  
  
"Don't start, you know there is nothing more you can do for me." Jason whispered, closing his eyes as a wave of pain passed over him.  
  
"Still..." Tommy began.  
  
"Don't Tommy. This is just one of those things that are out of our control. All of what is happening to me is." Jason said in a hoarser voice than he normally possessed.  
  
"I know." Tommy answered knowing he would never convince Jason of anything else. Seeing that topic was closed, for good, Tommy brought up another subject, hoping to keep Jason's mind off his clenching muscles. "Zack and Tanya arrive today. Trini, Kim and Aisha will be here tomorrow."  
  
"I can't wait to see them all." Jason smiled faintly, gracefully letting the topic change without hesitation. "What are you going to say to Kim, by the way?"  
  
Tommy didn't answer for a few seconds, "I don't know."   
  
"You can't avoid her forever Tommy. I know you still care about her." Jason opened his eyes to make Tommy met his gaze. A blind man could have seen the fondness in Tommy's eyes at the mention of the petite gymnast.  
  
"What can I do?" Tommy sighed. "She left me for some other guy, that's all there is too it. Happens all the time."  
  
Jason hesitated for half a second before speaking, "You're wrong Tommy, that's not all there is to it."  
  
"What do you mean?" Tommy asked softly glancing at his friend who had once again closed his eyes.  
  
"The only reason I know is Kim called me, sobbing over the phone after she sent you that letter. And the reason I didn't tell you is because Kim made me promise I wouldn't." Jason replied somewhat awkwardly.  
  
"Your word has always been your bond. You'd never break a promise if you could help it." Tommy murmured letting Jason know there were no hard feelings for not telling him.  
  
"I'm only telling you now because Kim said I could when I asked her a few days ago, when she called to confirm her flight." Jason added. "There were things about the 'other guy' that aren't as simple as you think. I'm not even sure you want to hear them..."  
  
"Tell me, Jase. Please." Tommy said softly.  
  
"...But I'm going to tell you anyway because you need to know." Jason finished taking a moment to compose himself as he felt his muscles clench up violently again. "There was no other guy or not in the sense you think."  
  
"Kim had a guy friend there, but it was no more than that. His name was Kyle and he was a gymnast as well. They had practice at the same time and sometimes they would go out with a group of the other gymnasts after practice. Everyone knew Kim was dating you, whenever she called me at the Peace Conference I could hear her roommate asking if she was talking to, 'her Tommy.' It drove me nuts." Tommy smiled at those words despite himself.  
  
"On one of those phone calls, Kim told me Kyle had recently asked her out, a few times. She refused, reminding him that she had a boyfriend and that she was training too hard to go out anywhere anyway. Kyle kept asking though and got pushier about it. Finally Kim threatened to report him to Coach Schmidt for harassment." Jason continued. "Kim was practising like crazy by this time and spending all hours in the gym, sometimes without one of the trainers supervision. She always had a spotter but there wasn't always an instructor there."  
  
"That's what got her into trouble. Her roommate was supposed to spot her but something came up and she couldn't. Not knowing about Kyle's aggressiveness she asked him to take her place as Kim's spotter. When he showed up Kim decided to skip the extra practice for the day because she didn't feel comfortable around him. Kyle had other ideas though." Jason grimaced slightly and this time it was only partly because of the pain in his body.  
  
"I swear, if he laid a hand on her I'll kill him." Tommy said in a low dangerous tone.  
  
"That's what I said when she called me." Jason commented. "Kyle tried to...force he into doing something she didn't want to do. Kim told him to get lost and he slapped her, hard. I talked to her roommate; she had a bruise for a couple of days afterwards. After he slapped her Kim tried to get away but Kyle grabbed her and pushed her up against the gym wall. Kim screamed and two trainers who were passing by rushed in to see what was going on. They came in just as Kyle was trying to kiss Kim."  
  
"I'm going to kill that bastard." Tommy said trying to stay calm for Jason's sake. Tommy could tell his friend was straining his strength to finish telling him what happened.  
  
"Kim wouldn't let someone just do that to her though. She flipped him and in doing so broke his arm." Jason told Tommy. "One trainer hauled Kyle away while the other tried to calm Kim down. It was hell for her, Tommy. She was crying so hard when she called me."  
  
"Why didn't she tell me?" Tommy asked trying to hide his own hurt at the fact Kim, his girlfriend at the time, hadn't called him.  
  
"She wanted to. I wanted to tell you, as well. But there was a bit of a controversy surrounding what happened. The faculty and Coach Schmidt knew Kim was the victim but the centre didn't want to release the information to the public or the other gymnasts. Before he left  
Kyle spread some nasty rumours about Kim and some of the other students turned on her. After awhile she felt she had done something wrong. She broke up with you because she felt ashamed of herself, Tommy. She didn't want you to know what actually happened. Trini and I were the only ones who knew and we did everything to convince her it wasn't her fault but..." Jason trailed off.  
  
"I wish I could have been there for her." Tommy whispered.   
  
Jason muscles clenched up more violently than before and he whimpered softly as the worst part came. Tommy pushed all thoughts of his former love out of his mind, for now, and turned his attention to his best friend, who needed him. Hugging Jason as close to him as he dared, Tommy let Jason cling to him for the few minutes it took until the small attack passed. It passed quicker than Tommy expected it to, which relieved Tommy to no end. But it also exhausted Jason who had already pushed his reserves and overtaxed himself with the day's  
events.  
  
"Get some rest, Jase. I'll be right here when you wake up." Tommy murmured. "You need to rest."  
  
Jason looked up at him before resting his head on Tommy's chest and closing his eyes. Within a few minutes Jason's breathing had evened out in sleep. Tommy thought for a moment about laying Jason properly on the bed but didn't want to disturb his peaceful sleep. Stroking Jason's hair gently, Tommy held Jason as he slept, letting his friend rally what little strength he had left. 


	9. Arrivals

Disclaimer: Don't own them!  
  
Author's Note: Four reviews! Yahoo! Symbolic Agnoy, Shawn, Morgan and Hanspam---you guys made my day when you revied! And I passed math too! Yay! No summer school for me!! Alright, I'm not sure if this chapter has been edited yet. I think it may have been but I'm not sure. If it hasn't Jeni can yell at me for posting it! This chapter is more boring than the others; it basically ties up a few loose ends. I won't blame you if you don't reivew, this chapter isn't the greatest!  
  
  
Chapter 9  
Arrivals  
  
  
"When is Tanya getting in?" Rocky asked quietly. Adam, Billy and he had arrived at Tommy's house about half an hour before and found Jason fast asleep in Tommy's arms. Tommy looked tired himself but had refused Rocky's offer to take his place sitting with Jason. They had expected he wouldn't take the offer.  
  
"In about two hours if her plane is on time." Adam replied. He and Tanya had been dating on and off since high school. They had managed to maintain a rather loose, long distance relationship when Tanya had moved to Los Anglos to take over a job at a popular radio.  
  
"Zack gets here at six." Billy added. "When does Dr. Johnson come again?"  
  
"Around eight, when his shift at the hospital ends. He comes on his lunch break and after he gets off work." Tommy answered startling them all slightly.   
  
"We didn't hear you come out." Rocky commented softly glancing down the hall without even realizing he was doing it.  
  
"Jase is awake. He wants to see you, Billy." Tommy gave a very small, rueful smile. "He wants to make sure you're okay."  
  
Billy looked for a moment as if he was going to burst into tears, "I should have figured as much." Billy said with an almost wistful sigh, getting up and starting down the hall, "I'll pick up Zack, okay?"  
  
"Sounds good. Adam is going to met Tanya." Rocky replied. Billy heard the three of them talking quietly as he walked down the hall. Billy knew he shouldn't be this nervous. He was going to see hid oldest friend, after all. 'The pain medication has been increased, he should be better than when you last saw him.' Billy thought trying to convince himself of that. Still, his nerves wouldn't be abated.  
  
It was better than Billy had expected it to be. That first step into Jason's room found Billy rewarded with a wide grin. Jason was leaning against the headboard and when Billy entered the room Jason glanced up, his midnight eyes meeting light emerald ones.  
  
"Are you okay?" Jason asked quietly.  
  
Billy almost laughed at the question. It seemed to him that he should be asking that question of Jason not vise versa. "Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
"Good." Jason answered reading the expressions in the green eyes of his friend as if reading a book. "I was worried about you."  
  
Billy took a seat in the chair beside Jason's bed and looked intently at his friend, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Jase. I shouldn't have gotten so mad it's just...I always thought you'd be there whenever I needed you. You were always someone I could turn to and trust. We both know I'm not really open with a lot of people. I didn't mean what I said..."  
  
"Yes, you did Billy. You know you did." Jason interrupted him making sure Billy met his eyes. "Don't tell me you didn't mean every word because I know you did."  
  
"I'm still sorry." Billy remarked.  
  
"Yeah, me too." Jason replied. Billy looked at him, slightly confused. "I'm sorry any of this had to happen, that I'm putting you all through this."  
  
"You don't exactly have a choice in the matter, Jason." Billy commented softly.   
  
Jason shrugged. "I still would have liked to spare you all seeing me like this though." Pausing for a second, Jason continued, "You know, I almost turned down Tommy when he offered to let me move in."  
  
"Why on Earth would you do that?" Billy wondered aloud.  
  
"I didn't want to be a burden to him or anyone else. I didn't want him to have to see me like this either. I considered going with my parents for awhile just so I could spare you, and the others, from seeing me so helpless. If Tommy hadn't offered I would have moved into a hospice." Jason replied.  
  
"Do you regret the decision?" Billy asked gently.   
  
"No, I don't." Jason replied. "I regret putting you and Tommy and the others through this but I'm glad that I get to die with all of you here. I didn't want to die alone."   
  
"Jason, none of us would have ever let you die alone. We've always been there for each other, through everything. This is no different. We would never desert you. I don't think any of us would be able to or would have wanted to." Billy said sincerely. "Rangers never let each other down, you know that."  
  
Jason chuckled softly, a wide grin spreading over his face, "God, that seems like a long time ago. Even after all that's happened I don't regret taking the Power from Zordon."  
  
"What do you mean?" Billy questioned seeing the small flash of sadness in his friend's eyes.   
  
"The doctor told me there was an element in my blood that caused the cancer to spread faster, the same element that caused the pain attacks to be more violent and the reaction to the medication," Jason replied slowly not sure if he should be telling Billy this. "I know it wasn't there before I became a Ranger. I donated blood to my younger cousin two months before Zordon gave me the Red Ranger powers, we have the same blood type and he needed blood badly. There were no abnormalities then. I couldn't donate when they had a blood drive at the Peace Conference and neither could Trini or Zack. There was no one who could accept our blood without going into anaphylactic shook. My blood has something in it, an abnormality. I'm betting your and the others have it as well."  
  
"Being a Ranger caused this?" Billy asked horrified at the aspect.  
  
"No, my family has a history of cancer. My grandfather died of prostate cancer when I was ten. You came to the funeral with me remember? My father had a tumour removed from his stomach when I was fourteen. I always knew I was at risk, I just never thought it would show up this soon. Or that the results would be what they are," Jason replied grimly but saw Billy wasn't quite convinced.   
  
"Being a Ranger didn't cause the cancer, it would have come up whether I had been a Ranger or not. The abnormality in my blood caused a few complications," Jason answered and seeing Billy's slightly surprised expression continued, "I got my family doctor to pull up all the medical jargon they had on two weeks after I was diagnosed to see what was going on. I picked up on the abnormality. When Dr. Johnson told me it was an element in my blood that caused the reaction I knew it was the same element."  
  
"Oh God, Jase. The Power was supposed to protect us, not hurt us." Billy exclaimed softly. Before he could say anything more Jason interrupted him.  
  
"I don't regret it, Billy," Jason told him with a steady look in his dark eyes, "I've never regretted it, not for a moment. Becoming a Ranger was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I will never regret taking the Powers from Zordon. It let me do so much good."   
  
Billy bit back the tears that had managed to well up in his eyes, "That always was the most important thing for you and I know you don't regret taking the Powers. But if they caused you pain than I can't help be mad."  
  
"Who are you mad at?" Jason inquired softly.   
  
For a second Billy was stumped. Then he sighed and replied quietly, "I don't know. I'm mad at...at whoever decided this fate needed to be yours. I mean, there are millions of other people in the world. Why you? Why now?"  
  
"I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that same question. But asking that question doesn't do anything except make me confused and angry so I stopped asking it. If you're angry it's okay, you have a right to be, it's part of grief I think. Just don't let that anger get in the way of everything else, okay? Don't block yourself off from everyone like I know you do in situations like this one," Jason replied earnestly.   
  
Billy studied his friend carefully for a few moments, "You're more philosophical now then you ever were," He remarked somewhat dryly.  
  
Jason chuckled softly glad to see Billy attempting to lighten this heavy load, "Yeah, I guess so."  
  
"You're really ready, aren't you?" Billy asked softly looking Jason in the eye. Jason meet the intense gaze from Billy's green pools without hesitation.  
  
"Yes and no." Jason replied softly. "I'm ready to die. I'm not scared, not anymore but I...I don't think I'm ready to leave you guys. Once everyone gets here, once I have the chance to say good bye then I'll be ready." Jason replied.  
  
Billy said nothing but smiled weakly at Jason. He didn't trust his ability to keep his voice steady. Silently Billy put his arms around Jason and Jason returned the offered embrace as best he could. No tears came. It was not an occasion for crying. The only thing that had been spoken had been the truth. It was a hard, bitter truth at that but true nonetheless. Billy found no reason to cry. Jason remained unfazed by the fact that his death was near and Billy, though his heart was breaking, would not let his own feelings of anger and sadness get in the way when he spent time with Jason. There wasn't any point for that and Billy didn't want to waste the time they had left together.  
  
******   
  
When Tanya arrived Jason was sleeping and when Billy returned with Zack at six he still slept. No one had the heart to wake him when he looked so peaceful. Jason didn't awaken until Dr. Johnson came to examine him. Tommy noted that the periods when Jason slept were becoming longer with each passing day as if to make sure they all knew he got weaker every day. Tommy had the urge to slug someone or something out of frustration that stemmed from the unfairness of it all, of the world. Thinking about why and how something like this could happen to a person like Jason only made him angry and incredibly depressed so he pushed any questioning thoughts out of his mind for a time after all this was over.   
  
"Hey Tommy," Zack remarked from behind Tommy, who stood staring out the window lost in his miserable musings, "Got a minute?"  
  
"Sure," Tommy replied, wondering what his friend wanted to talk about. The two of them went into the kitchen. Zack picked up his half finished mug of coffee before taking a seat at the kitchen table. Tommy grabbed a cup for himself before joining him.  
  
For a second they sat in silence as Zack didn't know how to begin. Finally he blurted out, "Thank you."  
  
"Thank you!? Why are you thanking me?" Tommy asked clearly surprised. He wasn't sure what he had expected his friend to say but thank you certainly wasn't it.  
  
Zack shrugged and sighed softly, "You've been here for Jason all this time. I mean, you've really been there for him. I...well, I should have stayed in touch better. Called or wrote more often or something. The last time we spoke was about three weeks before you called."  
  
"You talked to him on the phone while he's been living here, Zack. It's been less than three weeks," Tommy remarked.   
  
"I mean before I knew," Zack replied, staring into his mug, "I wish I had made more of an effort to stay in touch. I wish I had taken the time to call Jase more often."  
  
"It's not like I wasn't bad about staying in touch. When you guys were in Geneva..." Tommy began.  
  
Zack forestalled any further comments by interrupting Tommy, "You called or wrote to each of us at least once a week. And you and Jason were in contact even more, at least every three days if not more often."  
  
"That's because I needed his help," Tommy admitted softly, "I needed help dealing with the leader responsibilities. Calling him was mostly for my benefit, not his."  
  
"You still called or wrote Trini I and at least once a week. That had nothing to do with Rangering. And I know you and Jase talked about more than Ranger business as well. I was forever walking in on his conversations with you. Half the time it wasn't remotely related to the Power Rangers." Zack added. "Tommy, you have been a better friend to Jason than I could ever hope to be. Do you know how many other people would have done this for a friend? Hardly any. I'm not even sure if I would be able to handle it."  
  
"Jason needed me," Tommy replied simply, "I couldn't have not helped him. I owe him too much not to be there when he needs me."   
  
Zack studied his former teammate, it didn't surprise him how much conviction rang in Tommy's words. There was a certain rightness to what Tommy was doing for Jason that, when Zack thought about it, seemed perfectly natural because of the relationship they shared, which had stumped everyone from the start. 'He doesn't even realize what he's doing is anything out of the ordinary.' Zack realized, 'He didn't do this for any other reason than he cares that much about Jase.'   
  
"Jason is a lucky guy, he has you as a friend," Zack said finally.  
  
Tommy chuckled somewhat ruefully before replying, "Rocky said almost exactly the same thing to me couple days ago. I think you've both got it wrong. I'm the lucky one. If Jason hadn't saved me that day on the beach and if he hadn't taken me in afterwards I..." Tommy broke off and looked away as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, "I don't want to think about what kind of person I would be if Jason hadn't saved me that day. I don't like to think about what would have happened to me if he hadn't let me lean on him all those times. I'm just lucky that I can call Jason my friend, that I can say he's part of my family."  
  
"We're all blessed to know Jason," Zack agreed, "but we're not the only fortunate ones. If you asked Jason I bet he'd tell you he's the one who's lucky."  
  
Tommy laughed softly, "He has said that, many times before. I just wish I could get him to understand how much he means to me, us. I don't thinks he understands why I'm doing this."  
  
"Do you understand why your doing this, Tommy?" Zack questioned quietly.   
  
Tommy did not hesitate to answer, "Of course. He's my friend, brother, I love him. I don't want him to spend his last days alone in a hospital when he should be here with his friends. I know he would do the same for me."   
  
Zack nodded briefly, "You know, since the beginning there's always been something different about the relationship the two of you have. I doubt that anyone else in our group would have been able to handle this much but you do it without realizing how uncommon what your doing is."  
  
Tommy shrugged, glancing unconsciously at the picture of Jason, himself, Billy, Adam and Rocky that hung on the wall along side one of the original Ranger team, "I was taught the beauty of any act of kindness by the best. Jason would do the same for me and than some. I know he would, just like I know if it was possible to do more to help him I would, no matter what the cost."  
  
Zack was about to say something when their 'heart to heart' was interrupted by Dr. Johnson, "Mr. Oliver, may I have a quick word?"  
  
"Yeah, sure," Tommy replied getting up from the table. "Can Zack see Jason, now?"  
  
"Yes, he's awake." Dr. Johnson replied.  
  
Zack got up and headed towards Jason's room, passing Rocky and Billy who were talking quietly in the living room as he did so. Tanya had gone home for a change of clothes and a shower. Tommy walked into the hall with Dr. Johnson, waiting for the doctor to explain the latest medical development Jason had to suffer through. He re-entered the apartment only a few minutes later after Dr. Johnson had headed home. He joined Rocky and Billy who both looked up expectantly when he walked into the room.  
  
"What's the verdict?" Rocky asked quickly as Tommy flopped into a vacant chair.  
  
"New medication," Tommy replied. "It's the limit of what they can give. You basically don't get much higher than this without getting into things that knock you out completely."  
  
"Shit," Rocky commented knowing what that meant concerning Jason's ever deteriorating health.   
  
"They tested everything a lot to make sure Jason wouldn't have any more reactions," Tommy added more for his own reassurance than to reassure the two former Blue Rangers, "This is heavy, guys. The others better not have any delays in getting here."  
  
"That bad, huh?" Billy intoned quietly.   
  
"Yeah, that bad," Tommy sighed, "It...It won't be long now. These injections Jason will start tomorrow are strong enough to let him be alert enough to say his goodbyes. That's what they're for."   
  
Billy paled at Tommy's words, "Does Jason know?"   
  
Tommy nodded, "Yeah, Dr. Johnson told him," Seeing the looks on the faces of his former teammates Tommy added, "Jason is ready to go...or at least he will be once the others get here."  
  
"I know, he's ready but I don't think I'm ready to let him go," Billy admitted sheepishly.   
  
Tommy looked pained at his words, "We can't ask him to keep fighting a battle that isn't his. We can't ask him to live in pain any longer than he wants to. If it wasn't for his need to see everyone I think he would have let go before now."  
  
Billy sighed softly, "I know you're right; that it's unfair to put him through anymore pain. But I still don't want him to leave us. I don't want to let him go."  
  
"Billy..." Tommy began, afraid that when the end came the former Blue Ranger would do or say something to make Jason try and hold on for longer than he had to. The last thing Tommy wanted was to see his friend suffer and longer than he already had.  
  
"I know I can't tell Jason," Billy put in hastily, correctly guessing the look that crossed Tommy's face, "I wouldn't do that to him but it's hard for me not to hold on."   
  
Tommy clamped a hand on Billy's shoulder, silently wishing he could ease the suffering of all his friends. It was an impossible task or at least one he couldn't undertake on his own. All he could do was offer comfort to them while trying to deal with his own grief. For his former teammates, who knew that this was affecting Tommy more than he let on, it was enough. 


	10. Who Says Red and Pink Clash?

Disclaimer: See previous ones.  
  
Author's Note: I'M BACK!! Didja miss me? In case anyone is wondering/cares France was wonderful and I didn't want to leave and I miss my friends there! *Sigh* That's the worst part of all vactions: they end. Anyway, here is the long in coming and inevitable Tommy/Kim chapter. I've always been told pink and red clash but T & K go together. Hense the title. Hope you like it! And, of course, thanks to my reviewers. And a special thanks goes to Hamspam, Shawn, Morgan and Symbolic Agony for their everlasting support.   
  
  
Chapter 10  
Who Says Pink and Red Clash?  
  
  
It was about eleven the next morning when a soft knock sounded on Tommy's front door. Most of the retired Rangers had gathered there. The few missing from their ranks were either picking people up or having just barely arrived in Angel Grove themselves. Soon enough they would all be gathered in the same apartment for the first time in years. It would be the last time they were all together again. Tommy went to answer the door, glad to have some sort of distraction as the talk between the friends gathered in the living room was strained from stress, weariness and grief. Tommy, for one, hadn't slept in the last twenty-four hours and knew he would get little to no sleep over the next day or two. The others, through not as tired as he was, had also spent many a sleepless night since the first time the dreaded news reached them.   
  
Tommy opened the front door quickly, coming face to face with someone very familiar. It had been a long time since they had sat down and talked. Mostly short conversations with one or more of their friends present had been what the two one time lovers shared so far. It wasn't much when you considered their past history. Tommy found she had hardly changed at all except her chestnut hair was a little longer and her face was slightly more mature looking. She was still as beautiful as he remembered though, that had definitely not changed.   
  
"Kim, how are you?" Tommy swallowed inaudibly.   
  
"I'm alright. You?" Kim replied.   
  
"It's been hard these last few weeks." Tommy answered honestly. Kim knew Tommy well, better than anyone, except Jason, and she could tell he was holding up as leader but that this was taking it's toll on him.   
  
"How's Jason?" Kim asked dreading the news. She knew it wouldn't be good, no matter what it was.   
  
"The doctor gave him a new medication. It seems like he's better for awhile and then he kind of drifts off. It means the pain attacks have stopped but..." Tommy sighed, breaking the news of what this new medication meant was hard. "The drugs are only given to people who have a few days left. It's so he can say his good byes."  
  
"How long?" Kim asked in a soft voice. Tommy felt tears in his eyes and saw them in Kim's eyes too.  
  
"One or two days." Tommy answered. "It's less time then we thought. His parents probably won't make it in time."  
  
"Oh God. Who's with him now?" Kim's voice almost broke but she managed to keep it together. If she started crying now she knew she would never stop.   
  
"Adam. Jason's asleep. The pain killers make him drowsy after an hour or so. It's better if he doesn't fight it when he needs to rest. If he taxes his strength the pain starts to come back." Tommy replied softly. "He should probably be up within about half an hour."   
  
"What about you? When's the last time you got some sleep?" Kim asked noticing the dark circles under Tommy's eyes. Tommy shrugged.   
  
"Someone has to stay with, Jase. Rocky or Adam used to stay for part of the afternoon so I could get some sleep but now...I just can't leave him." Tommy replied. "I know it's not the best for me but I can't leave Jason. He's so helpless now..." Tommy swallowed and didn't finish the sentence.  
  
Kim had never seen Tommy so worked up about something. He was very close to breaking into tears right then and that it broke her heart. Had it not been for the awkwardness between them she would have hugged him but as it was she didn't dare to.   
  
"How are you holding up, Tommy? Don't lie to me about it, I know you too well." Kim asked knowing her former boyfriend never wanted to break in front of his friends, that was part of the reason he left after he lost the Green Ranger Powers.  
  
"I don't matter at the moment. Jason does. There will be time for me to cry later but now I can't let myself break down," Tommy replied softly. He knew Kim was the only one he had admitted that too and that he didn't plan to admit it to anyone else either. But he still felt as though Kim was his soul mate, just seeing her stirred something in him that had lay dormant for years. He would say nothing, it was not something he wanted to burden her with, not after what Jason had told him.  
  
"You can come in." Tommy said in a husky voice. He was doing all he could not to let any weakness show in front of any Rangers but Jason, past or present, "Adam, Billy and Katherine are already here and Trini called to say she was coming over soon. Rocky will be here after his classes. Zack and Tanya went to pick up Aisha when she arrived at the airport. Her plane has been delayed for half and hour."  
  
Kat and Billy were sitting in Tommy's living room, talking quietly about nothing in particular. Adam was sitting with Jason. There was always someone with him, even when Jason was sleeping. Greetings went around the living room when Kim entered the room but no one could find the strength to say anything much. It was too hard to pretend to be happy when a good friend was slipping away in the next room.  
  
"Kim, I know this may sound strange, but it helps to see, Jase. Just seeing him sleeping peacefully...it can help." Billy suggested quietly after watching Kim fiddle with her hands and try to concentrate on the small talk for a few minutes.   
  
"I'm going to sit with him now." Tommy added knowing it would probably help Kim somewhat; it had always comforted him, "You can come with me."   
  
Kim nodded and followed Tommy. She had never thought such a small hallway could seem so long. Tommy went in first letting Adam know he could go into the living room with the others for awhile. Adam smiled softly in greeting as he passed Kim, placing a reassuring hand on her arm for a split second. Kim knew she would need the support. Tommy could walk into Jason's room without a pause, he had done it many times before, but Kim was terrified of what Jason would look like. Kim had always thought of Jason as a big brother, someone to look up to and someone who protected her. Seeing him in pain was going to be hard on her. When she did find enough courage to go in Kim found that it wasn't as bad as she had been prepared for but not as good as she had hoped for.   
  
Kim stood in the doorway for a few seconds before walking over to his bedside and sitting down in the seat Adam had just vacated.   
  
"Oh Jase." Kim whispered gently as she touched his cheek and her heart broke for him. "He looks so peaceful."  
  
Tommy had to agree with her on that. Sunlight had spilled through the curtains and played across Jason's sleeping face. It gave an almost angelic look to the former Ranger who was somewhere in a dreamworld where the pain could not reach him. Tommy committed the image to memory knowing he had to keep moments like this with him. Kim was staring at Jason as well, memorizing him by heart. From what Billy and Rocky had told her she knew to keep something like this in her final memories of Jason.   
  
"He should be waking up soon," Tommy told her, "He's been asleep for awhile and he was given another dose of medication just before you got here."  
  
"I bet Jason isn't really happy about being on pain medication." Kim smiled somewhat ruefully at the thought. Jason had always tried to grit his teeth and bare it, even refusing Alpha's offer of a pain killer when he was injured in battle.  
  
"He's not. But there's no other way. It would be too much, even for Jase." Tommy commented sadly. "He knows that and that there's nothing to be ashamed about but he wishes he didn't need them."  
  
"You'd be exactly the same way." Kim thought out loud.   
  
Tommy cracked half a rueful grin at that, "Yeah, I would. We're so similar sometimes...I don't know if I would have been able to deal with everything as well as Jason has though."  
  
Kim saw Tommy turn away for a second and could tell by the slight shudder of his shoulders that he was fighting to gain control of his tears. Kim didn't know what to do. A few years ago she would have simply wrapped her arms around him but now...now she wasn't sure. After a few seconds Tommy managed to gather his composure and turned back to Kim, his eyes slightly red but his cheeks dry.   
  
"Do you want to sit with him for awhile?" Tommy asked softly.  
  
Kim nodded, unsure of how steady her voice would be but chancing it anyway, "Yeah, if you don't mind."  
  
"Not at all. If you need anything, or if Jason does, just call me okay?" Tommy replied meeting Kim's gaze for a split second before glancing away.   
  
"I will," Kim told him having seen the slight worry that laced Tommy's eyes constantly now.   
  
Tommy started to say something but than thought better of it and only nodded. He paused in the doorway, glancing from Kim to Jason and back again before saying, "I'm glad you could make it, Kim."  
  
Kim didn't know what to say to that but Tommy was gone before she had a chance to reply. She stared at the spot he had just vacated, letting her hand rest upon Jason's hand. To her surprise his fingers wrapped around hers. Glancing down at his face, Kim saw a pair of tired, dark eyes smiling at her.   
  
"Hey Kim." Jason said softly, pushing himself up enough to half sit so he could speak to his long time friend more freely.   
  
"Hey yourself," Kim replied forcing herself to smile, "How long have you been awake?"  
  
"About a minute or so, not long," Jason answered, "I'm glad you made it."  
  
"Me too, Jase. When Rocky called me I was on the first plane I could get," Kim confessed.   
  
"What about your gymnastics? Didn't your coach say anything?" Jason asked softly.   
  
Kim blushed slightly, "Actually, the last competition I was in was my final one. I've reached my peak and don't want to hold on to my 'glory days' now that they're over."   
  
"You've reached your peak already?" Jason echoed, surprised at that comment.   
  
Kim nodded, "Female gymnasts tend to be very young in the beginning and still young when they finish. I've been out of my prime for almost half a year now, it's time to call it quits."   
  
"What are you going to do now?" Jason asked.   
  
"I'm not sure yet. Maybe I'll try coaching or maybe I'll go to college and than go into teaching. I haven't decided yet," Kim replied feeling greatly relived that there seemed to be no awkwardness despite the bad circumstances.   
  
They continued to talk for almost half an hour. The range of topics varied greatly from gymnastics and Kim's successes in that field, to the past, to what Kim planned to do in the future and briefly touching upon the cancer that was killing Jason right before his friends' eyes. Kim felt, to her surprise, that the ease of talking to Jason about anything had not faded because of the disease robbing him of his life. Instead she felt as comfortable talking to him as she had in years gone by. There was a difference though, when the two friends talked about the future Jason had deftly left out any talk of his own future knowing by now that the word future for him had no meaning, past what would happen in the next day or so. It was a fact he didn't like to touch upon often. Knowing that you have no future is a scarey feeling.  
  
After a while Jason started to feel rather weary but ignored it for as long as he could. He enjoyed talking with Kim, and his other friends, too much to let his weakness get in the way. However, if he kept it up to long, Jason knew he would pay for it. Sighing softly, Jason decided it was time to tell Kim about the conversation he had had with Tommy a few days prior.   
  
"Kim, I told Tommy about Kyle," Jason said once there was a pause in the conversation and the opportunity arose.   
  
"Oh," Kim said trying to appear nonchalant, "What did he say?"  
  
"That he wanted to tear Kyle to pieces," Jason replied. "He wondered why you didn't tell him in the first place and said he wished he could have helped you through it."   
  
"I'm sure he's glad now he stayed out of it," Kim commented wincing slightly at the memory of dropping that letter into the mailbox. "After all, who would want to deal with 'damaged goods?'" Kim added referring to one of the many things she had been called after that fiasco.  
  
"That's not true, you know he still loves you." Jason whispered feeling his exhaustion catching up to him. Kim sighed.   
  
"Jase, I know I made a mistake dumping him because of that jerk, I know that. But Tommy's moved on, he's gotten over me. He can't possibly love me now," Kim replied very softly.   
  
"But he does, Kim. Trust me." Jason felt his strength fading. A few small rushes of pain were coming back and Jason desperately needed to rest but the need to fix things was stronger. "He's going to need you more than ever soon."   
  
"Your being my big brother again, aren't you?" Kim smiled sadly through her grief.   
  
"To the end." Jason managed. Kim felt her bottom lip quiver as tears flooded her eyes. Jason figured it was time to do something about this dilemma.   
  
"Tommy!" Jason called using every once of strength he could muster. Kim was so surprised she couldn't make a sound.   
  
Tommy practically came running into the room. When he heard Jason call his heart froze with fear, upon entering the room he realized that Jason wouldn't have had the strength to call out if something was seriously wrong.   
  
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Tommy asked unable to hide the worry from his voice. Jason nodded slowly.   
  
"Come here, Tommy." Jason managed to get out. His voice had become extremely hoarse.   
  
Tommy looked confused but went to Jason's bedside, on the opposite side as Kim. Jason found his voice was too weak to convey what he wanted to say. Very slowly, very weakly, Jason took Tommy's hand and placed it on top of Kim's, which rested next to his own, curling Tommy's fingers around Kim's hand. Jason smiled softly and let his eyes close slowly when he saw Tommy made no move to lift his hand. A few seconds later Jason had given in to the siren song of the dreamworld and fallen fast asleep.   
  
Tommy looked from Jason's face, still holding the slightest hint of a smile on it, to Kim's face where tears shimmered on her cheeks. Tommy found he couldn't look away. With his other hand he gently wiped away her tears and let his hand stay on her cheek when she took her other hand and put it on top of his.  
  
"Tommy I..." Kim began before a small sob escaped her lips.   
  
Without realizing it Tommy had moved to the other side of Jason's bed. Suddenly Tommy found he was right beside his first love, though how he got there so quickly and unnoticeably as he had Tommy would never understand. Drawing the small women into his arms Tommy felt Kim shudder slightly as she wept.   
  
"Shh. It's okay, Kim." Tommy managed though his voice was rough with emotion.   
  
"I...I love y...you, Tommy..." Kim murmured. "I never stopped...I'm sorry...I just couldn't deal with everything and I was scared of what you'd think...I'm sorry...I know it was stupid but..."   
  
Kim broke off, her shoulders shuddering slightly with silent sobs. Tommy hugged her close but didn't speak. He didn't trust his own voice not to break. Finally he managed to whisper a few words in an effort to comfort his distraught, former girlfriend.  
  
"It's alright, Kim. It's alright," Tommy murmured softly not knowing what else to say.  
  
"How can you say that? Nothing is alright anymore...Jason..." Kim stammered.  
  
"Shh. I know, Beautiful. I know, I feel the same way," Tommy confessed. "I want, more than anything, for everything to be alright. I know it's not now but someday..." Tommy paused for a moment to compose himself, "someday it will be."  
  
"Why Jason?" Kim whispered softly, looking up to search Tommy's eyes for an answer or some sort of reassurance.   
  
Tommy exhaled softly and wondered how many times he had been asked or had asked that same question. It seemed to be repeating over and over, showing them the ugly truth without regret, "I wish I knew." Tommy whispered softly, "I wish I knew." 


	11. The First Last Kiss

Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em.  
  
Author's Note: This chapter was my favourite to write and is possibly my favourite of the whole story. I hope everyone likes it as much as I do.  
  
Thanks: Thanks to everyone who reviewed so warmly! Thanks to Starrynights, Dagmar and DevDev. And extra thanks to Didi, Shawn, Morgan and Hamspam who always seem to make sure I never lack reviews.   
  
  
Chapter 11  
The First Last Kiss   
  
  
Jason felt the darkness of sleep lifting and tried to chase the cobwebs out of his slightly foggy mind. It was getting harder and harder to wake up when he went to sleep and he seemed to be sleeping more often. He hated that fact, always there to reaffirm what they all knew was to come. Slowly Jason felt his senses returning to him and noticed something before he even managed to open his eyes.  
  
Someone was holding his hand, gently tracing circles on the back of his palm with their thumbs. Jason was quite used to this kind of contact now and, truth be told, he was grateful for it. He relished the small touches his friends bestowed upon him and knew they also cherished the non-verbal communication that sometimes spoke with more depth than words ever could. Under normal circumstances, they were never this touchy, sharing handshakes or quick shoulder clasps between the guys and with the girls occasional hugs or light pecks on the cheek. But now, the constant contact was something they all needed. A simple touch, simply being held or holding, could bring more comfort than anything else. And that was so important to all of them now.  
  
This act of tenderness, however, was different even from that. First of all, Jason could tell the hands that held his belonged to a female. They were too little and tender to belong to any of his male friends who tended to have tough skin from all the activities they took part in, Jason's hands had been like that too until a short while ago.   
  
Jason was slightly puzzled for a few moments to who was sitting with him. As his eyes were too heavy to open still he couldn't see who it was. It wasn't Aisha, he knew that. Her skin was dry, from working out in the savannah with the animals. Tanya's hands weren't as soft as the ones that held his either, they were slightly calloused from playing on the radio station's baseball team. Kim's hands were tougher from constant gymnastic practice and Jason knew she was most likely talking to Tommy. 'Sorting things out I hope', Jason thought briefly. He knew it could be Kat's hands but she had been with him just before Adam, he had already had to say goodbye to her. That left only one person.  
  
"Trini," Jason murmured finally being able to blink open his midnight eyes.   
  
A warm smile and soft voice greeted him, "It's been too long, Jase."   
  
"Yeah, it has." Jason agreed. "When did you get here?"  
  
"About half an hour ago. You didn't keep me waiting too long," Trini replied with a hint of humour in her voice.   
  
"I was always told to never keep a lady waiting," Jason remarked, grinning slightly.  
  
Trini returned the smile before falling serious, "My parents told me your parents aren't going to make it here on time."  
  
Jason fell sombre quickly, "No, Tommy had a hell of a time getting a hold of them in the first place. They went up to the cottage they own and were snowed in there. I was able to talk to them today."  
  
"I'm sorry they couldn't be here." Trini said softly.   
  
"You guys are here with me, it's enough." Jason reassured her. "You're family too."  
  
"Jase, this is a little different than in the past," Trini commented softly. "You're parents should be here with you."  
  
"Having all of you here is what I want. I love my parents, I do, but I haven't been that close to them since I got back from Geneva. I wish they could be here but having your support is what I really need right now. I'll be fine as long as I've got you guys." Jason admitted quietly.   
  
Trini seemed taken aback for a second wondering how on Earth Jason could handle this situation so well before voicing her thoughts, "How can you be so brave through all this? How can you do it when you know what's going to happen? I don't think I'll ever figure out how you managed to stay this strong through all this."  
  
"I had to be strong; I still have to be strong. I don't know what else to do," Jason remarked, "I've always tried to be strong before; why should I stop now?"  
  
Trini looked up at him, tears falling from her eyes. Jason's face became serious at once and he gently wiped a few tears off her cheeks, "Don't cry, Trini. Please don't cry. I'm not worth it. I'm sorry if this hurts you. I never wanted to hurt you, any of you."  
  
"Don't be silly, Jason. It's not like this is your fault," Trini replied brushing the tears that Jason had missed away and putting on a small, brave smile.   
  
"Still, I know this can't be easy on you guys," Jason began only to be silenced by Trini once more.  
  
"There's nothing you could do to stop it. And you know very well we wouldn't have let you face this alone. That's not our way," Trini said firmly, leaving no room for the stubborn former Ranger leader to argue with her. Jason knew better than to take on Trini when she was set on something.  
  
"I'm glad," Jason confessed softly. "I hate to admit it but I was scared no one would want to be around me when I got like this."  
  
"You, of all people, should know we never desert one of our own when they need us. You have reinforced that time and time again. None of us would ever think of letting you go through this alone," Trini chided gently, "We love you too much to do that."  
  
"That means a lot to me," Jason told her squeezing the hand that held his. Trini chanced a glance into the midnight eyes she loved dearly and found they smiled through the shadows of pain. It warmed a part of her that she had long ago learned to silence.   
  
'Tell him', a small yet insisted voice began, not for the first time, in Trini's mind, 'Tell him how you feel! What have you got to lose? You should have told him a long time ago. Do it! Tell him. Now!'  
  
"Jason," Trini began unsure of how she would get this out and praying it would come out properly, "I have to tell you something."  
  
Jason smiled warmly at her, "And what's that?" He encouraged.  
  
Trini started to speak, really just blurting things out in one long sentence, "I should have told you before but I was too scared to and I'm not even sure if I should now but I think I'll go crazy if I don't only I don't know what you'll say and if I should tell you or not but..."  
  
"Trini," Jason interrupted indulgently, waiting for her to stop. Trini halted abruptly, looking slightly flustered, "Trini, your babbling."  
  
Trini flushed softly and said quietly, "I'm not sure I should tell you."   
  
"You know you can tell me anything. You've always been able to." Jason reassured her, "Besides, now you've piqued me curiosity."   
  
"Promise me that no matter what I'm going to say, you won't be mad." Trini requested, searching the brown eyes earnestly.   
  
Jason looked at her curiously but replied without hesitation, "I doubt there is anything you could say that would make me mad."  
  
"Then promise what I'm going to tell you won't upset you," Trini hedged, stalling for a bit more time to work out just how she could phrase what she needed to say.  
  
"Trini, nothing you could say will upset me, I promise it won't," Jason assured her.  
  
Trini took a deep breath and avoided meeting Jason's steady gaze, "Jason...well I...I..." Trini stuttered, before finally blurting out, "Jason, I love you."  
  
Jason was taken aback by the bold statement. It was not something Trini would normally just come out and say and certainly not what he had expected though he wasn't quite sure what he had expected, "You...what?"  
  
Trini had started now, she wasn't about to stop nor was she sure she could stop, "I love you and I have for a long time now. Since before we left for the Peace Conference only...only I didn't think you felt the same way and I didn't want to lose you as a friend so I never did anything about it. I couldn't stand losing your friendship, not after all we've been through together. I had to tell you, though, because I would have driven myself crazy with 'could have beens.' I'm sorry if it upsets you but I had to tell you, I just had to!"   
  
Trini looked down at the pattern on the blanket, unable to look Jason in the eyes. He sighed softly and reached out with a gentle hand to brush a strand of her long, silky, black hair behind her ear, before saying, "I wish you had told me sooner. I never thought you'd feel the same way."  
  
Trini looked up suddenly, startled and hopeful, "You mean...you mean you...?"  
  
Jason nodded slowly, "I always thought you weren't interested. I didn't want to wreak what we already had by telling you or anyone else."  
  
"We both shot ourselves in the foot," Trini commented with a sad, rueful chuckle thinking about how ironic the situation turned out to be.  
  
"And now it's too late." Jason added sadly.   
  
"I wish I had told you sooner. I should have told you earlier," Trini scolded herself, cursed herself for waiting so long.  
  
"I didn't say anything either, Trini. We were both too shy." Jason remarked softly.   
  
"We could have had time together as an us but...Oh Jason, we never even got a chance to be together as a couple," Trini wept silently for the chances and experiences they had missed out on because of their unusual bashfulness.  
  
"Trini, don't. Don't cry, please don't cry." Jason echoed his earlier words in an utterly helpless tone. He hated seeing the former Yellow Ranger cry and if he could have he would have done anything to stop her tears. But the only thing that could bring them to a halt was something he couldn't give her. A way to turn back time or a way to extend the time he had left. He couldn't fix things so they got a chance together. It was too late for that now.  
  
Jason gently smoothed his thumb over her cheek, trying to comfort her, "At least we know that those crushes we had weren't completely useless," Jason offered with a weak smile wanting the tears to stop staining Trini's lovely cheeks.  
  
"But now that I know you feel the same way I don't want to let you go. I didn't before either but this make it even harder," Trini confessed quietly.   
  
"I know, I wish I could do something to make it easier but..." Jason trailed off, at a loss and fully aware any words he could offer Trini would fall short of what he wanted to say and give to her. How could you wrap up years of experiences and moments and all those other things that came with being in love with someone in a few sentences? It couldn't work, not for them.  
  
"I'm sorry Jason, I shouldn't be putting this on you but I can't help thinking that you're the only person I'll ever really feel this way about and we don't even get a chance to see what could happen between us!" Trini sobbed softly.   
  
"Listen to me, Trini," Jason said in a low, serious tone that caught and held Trini's attention fully, "One day you'll find someone else. Someone who will love you and honour you and take care of you and you'll love him back. He'll make you happy and give you more than I ever could. God help him if he doesn't. Nothing you could have done would change the fact that I won't be around for much longer now. I could never have been able to offer you a future or anything you deserve to have. I wish I could be the one to make you happy but I can't be that person," Jason paused to cup Trini's cheek in his hand, raising her tear filled eyes to met his. "You'll move on. You'll be successful in whatever you choose to do after college, find someone you love, raise a family later on and be happy. Promise me you'll be happy, Trini."  
  
Trini nodded as she put her hand gently over Jason's feeling the warm, soft skin wipe away her tears.   
  
"Tell me you'll be happy, I want to hear you say the words." Jason said softly never taking his eyes away from the brown pools of the women he had loved for a long time.  
  
"I'll be happy, Jase. I promise I'll be happy." Trini whispered as she reached out to wipe away the tear that trickled down Jason's cheek.  
  
Jason managed a shaky smile at her, "One day we can be together, Trini. We just can't be now."  
  
"I know," Trini replied softly, "Jase, just once can I...Can we kiss, just this one time?"  
  
"Trini..." Jason breathed wanting nothing more but knowing it would not be easier on either of them to feel just how much they were losing out on.  
  
"I need this, Jason." Trini told him looking deeply into his midnight eyes, "Just once I need to share this with you. Please, let me. I can't live without knowing what it's like to kiss you." Jason only nodded, too choked up to give his approval verbally.  
  
The second their lips met Jason berated himself for not saying something, anything sooner to make this come about before he only had a short time left on earth. Jason didn't think anything could beat the feeling that shot through him when Trini's lips met his. It was so different from anything Jason had ever felt that it made his head spin as tingles raced up his spin. Trini felt the same thing, wanting nothing more than to make the one kiss they would be granted last for all eternity. The memory of that kiss would have to last her a lifetime as in her mind no one could ever replace the one she had been secretly in love with for years. When they broke apart they were both breathless and both longed for something more they could never have.   
  
"Thank you." Trini whispered. She felt Jason tremble a little as she spoke and looked into his eyes to see if he was in pain. He wasn't but Trini saw something more shocking to her. Jason was crying softly and trying his best to hide it. When Jason cried he didn't hide it.   
  
"Jase..." Trini said softly as she wiped his tears away with nimble fingers.   
  
"Why does this have to be so hard?" Jason asked in a barely audible whisper, "I'm not afraid of death, I'm really not but it's so hard to think of being without you...I don't want to leave you or the others."  
  
Trini didn't know how to answer him but Jason didn't give her enough time to, "You have to be happy, Trini. You have to be happy. I won't be able to stand it if you're not happy. I never could stand it when someone close to me was miserable. You all have to be happy but you do especially. You have to be happy. Please be happy." Jason whispered his voice breaking with suppressed emotional pain.   
  
Trini wrapped her arms around Jason's back and guided his head so it was lying on her shoulder. Stroking Jason's back gently, Trini promised him that they would be happy, that she would be happy. She promised it over and over again. Trini knew she would have to find contentment after this, she couldn't let Jason down.   
  
"It may take a little while but we will be happy Jason. We all will," Trini assured him as Jason cried softly on her shoulder.   
  
"I don't want to leave you," Jason whispered, "I'd do anything to stay but..."  
  
"It's alright. I know you can't. We all know you would stay with us if you could." Trini said softly. Her touch acting as a soothing balm that comforted him marvellously.  
  
After a few minutes Jason's tears subsided. He chuckled softly as he slowly pulled away from Trini's embrace. "I'm sorry, but that kiss made me realize how much I'm going to lose out on."  
  
"You didn't know before?" Trini wondered aloud.  
  
"I did but I never knew what being able to say these words would feel like," Jason tucked a lose strand of hair behind Trini's ears and gently cupped her cheek with his hand. "I love you, Trini Kwan. I've been in love with you since you moved here."  
  
Tears spilled over Trini's cheeks, "I love you too, Jason. I love you so much."  
  
"If it's worth anything, I would want to spend the rest of my life with you if I could," Jason whispered.   
  
Trini didn't hesitate to reply, "It is definitely worth something because I would have said yes to you."  
  
Jason chuckled softly as he realized what that had just sounded like, "Did I just propose?"  
  
"I think so," Trini replied with a soft giggle.   
  
Jason hesitated for a second and then slipped something off his neck. It was a necklace with a thin gold ring on the chain. He had worn that necklace for a long time, since he was ten years old, "This was my grandfather's at one point. He gave it to me just before he died and told me that is had been his mother's and I was to give it to...to the girl I fell in love with."  
  
Trini bit her lip so hard it nearly bleed, her heart aching painfully as Jason continued speaking, "After my funeral, I want you to take this off and don't put it on your hand again. Take it off and move on. I don't want you wasting your tears on me, okay?"   
  
Trini felt fat tears roll down her cheeks as Jason slipped the ring onto her finger, "I will, Jase."  
  
"Promise me?" Jason requested softly.  
  
Trini hesitated for a half second, lost in all that may have been if the situation was a different one, "I promise."  
  
"Thank you for telling me, you don't know how happy hearing you say those words has made me," Jason admitted quietly.  
  
Trini remained silent, wrapping her arms around Jason and holding him as close as possible. Jason wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her slender shoulder. It felt so good to be in her arms that Jason didn't want to let go, even when he started to fall into the depths of sleep that always came to claim him. Trini held Jason until his body slipped into a relaxed and heavy state of sleep. She then eased his sleeping form onto the bed. Trini studied the man that could very well have been her lover before glancing down at the ring on her finger. Neither of them had noticed the small gold chain was still attached to it, they had been to caught up in the moment and its odd beauty. Trini slid the chain off and slipped it into her pocket. She had promised Jason she would take his ring off her finger after his funeral but had said nothing about not wearing it anywhere else.   



	12. Dying of the Light

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I'm warning you now, this one's a bit of a tear jerker.   
  
  
Chapter 12  
Dying of the Light  
  
  
In all his years as a doctor Dr. Johnson had never seen a group of friends as closely knit as the ones gathered in the middle sized apartment tonight. Breaking news like this was never easy but at this moment Dr. Johnson hated the career he had chosen with a passion. These friends had the tightest relationship that he had ever seen and just by small observations Dr. Johnson could tell they were losing an important member of their group and that Jason's death would effect them in some ways he didn't even try to understand. From the short time he had had to know Jason, Dr. Johnson had fond he liked the benevolent young man. It saddened him to know yet another kind person would leave the world all too soon. As a doctor, he had seen the same thing far too often for his liking.   
  
"What's the news?" Tommy inquired softly, standing in the hall. He knew they were just out of hearing range of the former Rangers, all gathered in the living room.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tommy but I have nothing good to tell you," Dr. Johnson paused for a moment before going on. "I don't expect Jason will live through the night. He has a few hours still but not more."  
  
Tommy took a deep breath, having known this would come soon but finding now that he faced it he was more terrified than he had ever been before, "What should we do?"  
  
"Make him as comfortable as possible, that's all you can really do for him." Dr. Johnson replied, "If there's anyone who needs to say good bye to him they have to get here quickly."  
  
"We're all here," Tommy replied absently not really registering the doctor's words. The people who were closest to Jason were all there, end of story, "Is there anything I can do for him, at all? Anything to make this less painful?"  
  
Dr. Johnson sighed, "Not really. I have noticed that Jason responses to things best when they come from you so unless you would like me to tell him I'll leave that up to you."  
  
"I want to tell him," Tommy replied knowing that while it would still be painful, if he was the one to tell Jason he would at least have someone there who could really offer him comfort.  
  
"Jason will most likely fall into a coma for his final hours. Have you decided what you will do then?" Dr. Johnson inquired, knowing that is was emotionally draining for friends and family to see their loved ones slip away like that without being able to do anything to stop their death.  
  
"We're staying with him, until the very end," Tommy replied without hesitation, conviction ringing in every syllable he spoke.   
  
"I assumed you would," Dr. Johnson replied, the young man in front of him meeting what he had come to expect of him, "The amount of medication he has in him right now should be enough to sustain him through the night. He may be in a little pain if he tries to hold on too long. Try not to let him do that. I don't think you will need me. If you do just call."  
  
Tommy nodded, "Thank you. When it's over..."  
  
"I need to be informed. Call me soon after, alright?" Dr. Johnson finished, knowing that families sometimes took a small amount of time before informing the doctor of their loved ones passing.   
  
"Okay," Tommy sighed softly. "Thank you."  
  
Dr. Johnson simply nodded before heading for the living room where the others were waiting and then out the door with Billy to explain things to him. Tommy stood in front of Jason's door for a few seconds trying to gather his wits. He wanted to cry and scream and punch something and throw up or do all at once but knew he could do none of the above at the moment. Instead he slowly walked into the dimly lit room.   
  
Jason looked up at his friend as Tommy entered. One look from the dark eyes and Tommy knew Jason was ready for what he had to tell him. He knew it was coming, he was expecting it, waiting for it. It made tears spring to Tommy's eyes to see that look in his best friend's eyes.  
  
"Bad news," Tommy said hoarsely through his building tears.   
  
Jason nodded, so calm it seemed unnatural, "I know."   
  
Tommy heard the undercurrent of fear and pain in the deep voice and saw the etchings of the same two elements on the stoic features. It was the same facade he was trying to keep up in front of the others but not in front of his bro. Not even now. The masks they both wore cracked and fell apart around each other.   
  
Taking a seat beside Jason's bed Tommy opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find the words. He studied his best friend intently reading through the screen of composure Jason somehow maintained through everything thrown his way. Again Tommy tried to force the words he wanted to say out of his throat but after a few moments closed his mouth having temporarily lost the ability to speak.   
  
"I know, Tommy," Jason said softly looking directly into Tommy's eyes, "I know."  
  
Tommy felt tears flood his eyes as he reached out and drew his friend up into a careful hug. Sobbing softly he managed to get out, "I'm so sorry, Jason. I'm so damn sorry."  
  
"There's nothing to be sorry for," Jason replied as he wrapped his arms around Tommy, returning the comforting embrace. "It's just my time, that's all. I..."  
  
Jason's voice deserted him and he had to be content with holding his friend. Or was Tommy holding him? Jason wasn't really sure. They both drew comfort from the embrace. The fact that this would be one of the last times they got to share this close contact hurt both of the young men. Jason felt a tear stream down his cheek as he thought of how much he valued the friendships he had formed with his close circle of friends. It hurt so much to leave them.  
  
"I should go get the people you want to..." Tommy said after awhile only to trail off. Even now the subject was left untouched if possible.  
  
"The people I still need to say good-bye to," Jason finished for him.   
  
Tommy nodded as he helped Jason to lie back down on the bed, "Who's left?"  
  
"Rocky, Adam and Billy. I said good-bye to the others earlier," Jason replied taking as deep a breath as he could to try to calm his grief, "And then you bro."   
  
Tommy nodded hating to think about that near time when he would have to bid Jason a final farewell, he didn't know what he was going to say. How did one figure out the final words they wanted to say to someone as close to them as family? "I'll be right down the hall if you need anything, okay? I'll go get Adam."   
  
"Thanks, Tommy," Jason murmured squeezing his friend's hand quickly before Tommy summoned a brave smile and went out into the living room.  
  
There were few dry eyes amongst the former Rangers gathered in that room. Tommy looked around at his old teams for a second before saying, "Jason wants to see you Adam."  
  
For a second Adam looked terrified but then he squared his shoulders and walked down the hall, disappearing into Jason's room. Tommy unconsciously took a seat next to Kim. She instinctively slipped her hand over his and squeezed. Tommy glanced at her, seeing her face was wet and shining with the moisture from her tears. Tommy leaned back on the couch, closing his eyes briefly and rubbing the bridge of his nose, trying to relive and unseen emotional pain through a physical action.   
  
"Billy told you all?" He asked after a few moments.   
  
Silent nods were his reply and Tommy went on, "We're all still agreed on what we're going to do, right?"  
  
"Stay with Jase until the end," Rocky replied softly having been studying his hands with such intensity one would think he was hoping to find some miracle cure to save Jason in the calloused fingers and curving lines.   
  
"If anyone doesn't want to than now is the time to say something. No one will think any less of you if you don't want to stay," Tommy confirmed glancing around at his old teammates.   
  
"We are all staying," Aisha replied softly, "It's the least we can do for him."   
  
Tommy nodded slowly, glad they all felt the same sort of way he did. Now all they could do was wait until that time came...   
  
Jason took his time speaking with Adam and Rocky but when Rocky returned to the living room, his face stained with dried tears, he told the others Jason was fading fast. Billy sighed at the comment made by Jason's successor as he got up to go sit with Jason. Once Billy left Rocky went on to say Jason was starting to tax his strength and that he wouldn't be able to keep it up for too much longer. Even so, his time with Billy was a little longer than the time he had spent speaking with Rocky and Adam.   
  
When Billy came out he was trembling a little with suppressed sobs. Losing the person who had been his big brother all through his adolescence ranked right under losing his mother. He knew from experience that the pain never really went away. Though it would become duller over time it would always be there. Tommy embraced Billy warmly for a few seconds. Billy was the first to break away. His face was streaked with tears but his voice didn't wavered.   
  
"He's waiting for you." Billy said softly.  
  
Tommy managed to nod as he fought down the lump in his throat. Kat put her arm around Billy's shaking shoulders and gently led him to the couch where he sat and buried his head in his hands, sobbing softly. Tommy turned slowly and made his way to Jason's room.  
  
Tommy had walked into Jason's room many times since Jason had been diagnosed. He had seen Jason in unbearable amounts of pain, in fitful half deliriums and so sick the former Gold Ranger could hardly move under his own will. But when he entered Jason's room this time he knew it was different from any other time before. Though his body had wasted away to almost nothing Tommy had never seen Jason so strong before. He was ready for what was to come even if Tommy was not, nor would he ever be, ready to lose him. Jason's spirit still soared, he had never let the warmth in it go out. Soon, Tommy knew, that spirit he so loved would be cut free from the bonds of Jason's body.  
  
"Hey Jase." Tommy said softly as he took Jason's hand in his own.  
  
"Hey bro." Jason replied in the soft, hoarse voice that was all he had left.   
  
"This is it, isn't it?" Tommy asked gently.   
  
"It's almost time." Jason replied softly. "This is the hardest part."   
  
"What is?" Tommy asked.  
  
"Saying good-bye to all my friends, especially you." Jason whispered. "I can't even begin to thank you for all you've done for me. I wouldn't know where to start."   
  
"You don't have to." Tommy told him. "You've helped me so much in the past, through everything. I wouldn't have made it without you. You welcomed me with open arms, you saved me in every way there is. I can't tell you what you mean to me. When you're not here to guide me I don't know what I'll do. What will I do without you, Jase?"  
  
"I'll still be with you. I'll still be there to listen when you need me to just in a different way. I'll never leave you Tommy, not completely. I couldn't do that, not to my bro." Jason whispered feeling a tear streak down his cheek.   
  
"I wish I didn't have to leave you." Jason made no try to stop the tears streaking his face. "I'm going to miss you so much, Tommy."  
  
"Not half as much as I'll miss you." Tommy's voice was rough with emotion as the tears fell from his eyes.   
  
Moving from the chair to the bed Tommy very gently embraced Jason and cradled him in his arms. Jason rested his head against Tommy's chest, relaxing as much as he could in the strong arms. Jason knew he would be safe in Tommy's embrace until the end came.   
  
"You're my brother in spirit, Jase. I love you." Tommy managed through his tears.   
  
"I love you too, Tommy." Jason whispered. "Will you stay with me...until the end?"   
  
"I'll be right here with you, Jason. I promised you I wouldn't leave you and I wouldn't be able to leave even if I wanted to." Tommy replied gently smoothing back Jason's hair.   
  
Jason smiled weakly and let his eyes close knowing Tommy would be there with him. Tommy felt Jason's body relax in sleep, his chest gently rising and falling with each breath he took. Ten minutes went by before Kim peeked into the room, her protective nature getting the better of her. Tommy signalled her into the room.  
  
"Get the others." Tommy said quietly so not to disturb the precious being in his arms.   
  
Kim nodded and a few minutes later the former Rangers filed into the room. Trini took one of Jason's hands in hers and Billy held the other. Zack joined hands with Trini, Kim with Billy, Rocky with Zack, Adam with Kim...until they were all joined to Jason through another's hand. Half an hour passed before Jason stirred and blinked open his eyes for what would be the last time.   
  
"You guys..." Jason whispered looking around the circle. "...are what kept me alive all this time. I don't what I would have done without you, ever. You mean more to me than anything. I love you all so much."   
  
Jason felt a tear slid down his face. The love coming from the circle of his best friends, his family, was so powerful he could feel it even as he felt himself slowly slipping away from their grasp. Soon, he knew he would feel it even more strongly, when he left the shell that remained of his body.   
  
"Promise me you'll always stay in touch with each other. That your friendship, the friendship I've been able to share and be a part of, will live on. No matter what happens." Jason said softly.   
  
"It always will, Jase. We'll remember that just as we'll always remember you." Billy made the promise for all of them but every head nodded to seal the pact.  
  
They had decided just after Aisha had arrived that they would all say a final good bye and then rejoin the circle to sit with Jason until he was gone. The circle broke, allowing each person a little space for their good bye.   
  
Katherine was the first up. She gently took Jason's hand in her own.  
  
"You've gotten us through a lot, Jase. You've always been a pillar for us to lean on." Kat whispered.   
  
"It was nothing you couldn't do yourself, Kat." Jason replied softly. Kat bite her lip trying to hold off the tears for just a few more moments.  
  
"You're the best of us all, Jason." Kat whispered before giving his hand a small final squeeze and moving aside so Aisha could say good bye. Aisha put her hand gently on Jason's chest feeling the soft thump of his heart beneath her palm.  
  
"I only wish I could have had more time with you. It has been a blessing just to be in your presence." Aisha said softly.   
  
"The pleasure was all mine, Aisha. You are the kind of bubbly wonderful person everyone needs a chance to know." Jason told her. Aisha smiled gently at Jason before letting Tanya take her place. Tanya gentle stroked Jason's hair as she smiled softly at him.  
  
"You've changed me for the better, just knowing you has." Tanya told him. "You have a spot in my heart, Jason."  
  
"Thank you for trusting me as much as you do." Jason whispered managing to return the smile with a weak one of his own.   
  
Tanya moved away quickly knowing the others would need a little more time. They had been the closest to Jason. Rocky took her place, putting his hand on Jason's shoulder and squeezing gently.   
  
"It's going to be hard around here without you." Rocky managed softly.   
  
"I'm counting on you to keep everyone laughing." Jason replied meeting Rocky's gaze.   
  
Rocky hesitated for a second as if searching for the right words to say. In a very soft voice he said, "Godspeed, Jason."  
  
Rocky squeezed Jason's shoulder again before Adam took his place. Adam took Jason's hand in his own, rubbing it gently.   
  
"You mean so much to me---to all of us. It's an honour to consider you a friend." Adam managed quietly.   
  
"The honour is in having you as a friend, Adam. No one could ask for more." Jason replied.   
  
Adam was too choked up to reply but nodded slowly giving Jason's hand a squeeze before letting Zack take his place. Zack put his hand on Jason's shoulder and grinned weakly.   
  
"Stay the same, Zack. You're the kind of person this world needs." Jason spoke first, looking into the eyes of one of his oldest friends.  
  
"Brave, kind people like you are what this world needs, Jase." Zack's voice was husky with emotion even though he tried to hide it. "You stay cool up in Heaven, okay?"  
  
Jason managed a nod as Zack squeezed his shoulder and let a weeping Kim take his spot. Kim looked at Jason for a second before speaking.  
  
"I love you, big brother." Kim said after a moment, stroking Jason's hair gently and brushing a few strands back in place.   
  
"I love you too, lil' sis." Jason replied feeling a tear roll down his face. "You and Tommy...take care of each other, okay?"   
  
Kim nodded before letting Trini come to sit next to Jason. Trini took Jason's hand as their eyes met. Very gently with her thumbs she traced circles on the back of his hands.   
  
"I'm going to miss you so much." Trini told him quietly not daring to say much more than that.   
  
"I'm going to miss you too, more than you can ever know." Jason replied looking at the girl he had loved from afar for too long. "Remember your promise."  
  
"You'll always be in my heart, Jason." Trini whispered kissing Jason's cheek gently.  
  
Billy took her place, gently putting a hand on Jason's cheek and looking into Jason's dark brown eyes, his green ones shining with tears.  
  
"There has never been a truer friend than you." Billy was crying openly. Jason couldn't help letting tears roll down his cheeks; Billy was his oldest friend.  
  
"I'll always be with you, Billy. Remember that." Jason managed softly.   
  
"I will, Jase." Billy paused before continuing, " I truly believe that you are and have always been everything being a Power Ranger means. There could never be a greater one than you. I love you."   
  
Jason choked back a sob as Tommy held him closer. He had been holding Jason the whole time, giving him strength. But now he had to say good-bye to his best friend. The person who had been there for him from the first moment they had met and never once, in Tommy's opinion, let him down.  
  
"I love you, Jase. You've given me so much, you saved me. Thank you." Tommy whispered, pressing his lips against Jason's forehead gently.  
  
"Tommy I...I'm not sure what to say...I love you too...I love you guys so much" Jason whispered through his tears.   
  
The circle resumed it's form. Trini and Billy holding Jason's hands and Tommy cradling his broken body.   
  
Jason whimpered softly and closed his eyes for a second. Tommy held Jason closer, wanting him to stay but knowing it was time to let him go. Jason was stubbornly clinging to life. Tommy knew he wanted to let got but couldn't, not without some sign from them that it was alright to leave the pain behind him. That it was alright to leave them behind.  
  
"We're all here, Jase, and we'll be with you until the very end. It's okay to let go." Tommy murmured softly. Jason looked up at him, the dark brown eyes gazing into Tommy's chocolate brown eyes. Through it was costing him, Tommy continued to assure his friend, holding Jason's gaze steadily, "Let go, Jase. We're here with you. I've got you. Go in peace. It's time and we're all here with you. Let go..."   
  
That was all Jason needed to let him die in peace. Jason could hear Tommy's heart beating where his head rested on Tommy's chest. Billy and Trini kept hold of his hands, squeezing in support of Tommy's words. A gentle smile lit Jason's features for the last time. His eyes stayed open but Tommy knew Jason didn't see those gathered around him anymore. Jason was far away now, somewhere farther than they could reach him. His midnight eyes slowly became glassy and then, after awhile, slid shut. Jason's body relaxed in deep sleep as he started to slip away from them. A great peace settled over Jason, he no longer needed to keep fighting for anyone or anything. The serene expression on his face, with the faint smile still curving his motionless lips, was a slight comfort for his friends. It was time for him to go Home and they would stay with him until he was there.   
  
Jason's breathing slowed over the time they sat with him. No one left, or talked or even barely moved. They kept a silent vigil over their departing comrade, friend and brother. It didn't seem like a long time went by, although it was nearly two hours before Jason's body failed him completely. Upon reflection, it would only seem, to them, like mere minutes between the time Jason said good-bye until the time he left them for good.  
  
Jason's breathing became more shallow and raspy as the minutes wore on. Then his breaths became infrequent, ten seconds would go by before he took a soft breath and then it became twenty seconds, then twenty-five...until almost a minute would go by before Jason's chest moved and even then the movement was so small it was barely there.   
  
Jason's head rested just over Tommy's heart and the former White Ranger could feel his breath softly. When Jason exhaled in a sigh like manner Tommy waited for his next breath to come but it never did. His chest lay still.   
  
A minute went by, then two, then five, then ten, then twenty...Jason's chest didn't move. Tommy shifted his position a little and quietly checked for a pulse. There was none to feel under his finger tips.  
  
Jason was gone.  
  
Tommy felt his own emotions spin out of control as he held Jason's motionless form close to him, pressing the lifeless body against his chest as if trying to will just a few more seconds of life back into his friend. He couldn't though at some level, he wanted to believe he could make Jason breath again from sheer will power. It wouldn't happen and the part of him stubbornly clinging to the hope there would be a miracle cure at the last second flickered before dying. It wasn't going to happen.  
  
The tears came and flowed freely. Tommy couldn't have stopped them even if he had had the heart to try. It was simply too hard to contain them. At this point trying to pull himself together was simply too hard. Tommy found it hard to breath; the grief was so consuming it left him winded for several moments. The wound Jason's death inflicted on his soul was so deep it felt like physical pain.   
  
Pressing a kiss against the smooth forehead Tommy gently lay Jason's body back on the bed. For an instant he gazed with hollowed eyes at the body that had once been home to his best friend's soul. Now it was empty, a shell of what had once been a strong, courageous, caring, loyal friend. It hurt so badly Tommy was sure a part of himself had died with Jason. He wanted to curl up beside his best friend and cry until he fell asleep and all the pain went away.  
  
Reality rushed Tommy suddenly as his gaze shifted from Jason to the others. Each was in their own stage of grief and all of them were crying, openly and unashamed of it. Tommy sobbed too, unable to hide his sorrow. Kim hugged him and Billy followed and soon they were all holding on to each other, letting their grief take over for now.  
  
When no more tears would come phone calls were made. The doctor came. Adam called Jason's parents...But only one coherent thought would register in the consciousness of the former Rangers.   
  
'Jason is gone.'   
  
  
  
Author's note 2: I'm letting you know now that the story isn't over yet. There are still a few chapters to go so stay tuned. 


	13. May The Power Protect You

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.  
  
Author's Note: My heart goes out to the fireman who have lost their lives in the tragedy that occurred on September 11th and to the ones that are searching through the rumble as I type this. When everyone ran away they ran in to help. They lost their lives trying to save people. That is more than courage. They are truly heros.   
  
  
Chapter 13  
May the Power Protect You  
  
  
Upon later reflection Tommy would come to find that the time between Jason's death and the wake were blurry in his mind. Indeed, even some events of the wake were like some part of a dream. It was hard, after such a loss, to focus and things came to register very slowly in Tommy's mind. He dully registered that the room once occupied by his best friend was now very empty. So empty it threatened to turn into a black hole and absorb him. He caught himself walking down the hall expecting to see the familiar, brown eyes and once found himself picking up the phone to call Jason at his old number. Moments like that caught Tommy more off guard than anything had before in his life. He hadn't known something could hurt this much.   
  
Tommy was never alone, though sometimes he felt that way. One or more of his friends was always with him. They all travelled in pairs or groups now. Strength in numbers. They supported and comforted each other as much as they could, Tommy instinctively trying to shoulder as much of their grief as he could as well as his own.   
  
The wake. Now there was a event that seemed out of another life to Tommy. Seeing all those people coming for Jason's funeral was strange. It took some especially strange turns when Tommy discovered he was being told to 'keep his chin up' by total strangers. Trini explained to him at one point that many of them were former delegates from the Peace Conference. A few of Jason's old teacher's, including Mr. Caplan and Ms. Appleby, came along with what seemed like most of their old highschool class, Ernie came and the troublesome twosome themselves, Bulk and Skull were also there at one point of another.   
  
Some experiences in those days before the funeral were more coherent than others. Years later Tommy would be able to vividly recall the phone conversation he had with Mr. and Ms. Scott a day after Jason died. Ms. Scott wept and berated herself for not being their with Jason when he died. Tommy didn't know how to respond so he simply told them Jason had died surrounded by his closest friends. The elder Scotts would, if everything went well, make it home by the next morning, less than six hours after their son had died.  
  
At the end of the day, when the last people had paid their respects, the minister who would be presiding over the funeral gave the former Rangers a few minutes alone with the body of their friend. No one really knew what to do. None of them had any desire to approach the coffin where Jason lay so very still and lifeless. They had already bid him farewell. All that he had left behind was his body. The part of him that made him their Jason; the part that made the man they loved so was no longer there.   
  
While the former Rangers had been, at one point or another, somewhat close to the coffin Tommy had tried to stay as far away from it as he could. It hurt too much to see Jason's body lying there. The grief was still too strong. There was nothing more Tommy could do for Jason and that made it incredibly hard to approach the still figure. Tommy was relieved and glad that during the funeral tomorrow the casket would be closed.   
  
"Tommy," Rocky said softly as he approached his former leader. Tommy looked at his friend without speaking. He had barely spoken must since first arriving at the church. Only having said enough to tell Jason's parents, and others who had stopped by, that Jason had died peacefully. It offered them comfort and, truth be told, it helped Tommy because he knew it was true.  
  
"Yeah, Rocko?" Tommy queried quietly glancing up at Jason's one time successor.  
  
Taking a deep breath to steady himself Rocky glanced around, double checking to make sure no one was in the room. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a slightly singed object, the tyrannosaurus morpher, "Jason should have this."  
  
Tommy stared at his friend incredulously, thinking he must have heard him wrong, "What?!"  
  
"It was his first and I always felt more comfortable in blue anyway," Rocky replied with a slight shrug, "It feels like the right thing to do, letting him take it with him."   
  
Tommy was still surprised and slightly puzzled, with a touch of grief in his voice he said, "Okay, then."  
  
"But I'm not the one who should put it in his hand," Rocky continued giving his former leader a searching look.   
  
Tommy understood immediately and tried to stall if only briefly, "Why not?"  
  
"You were the only person who served over Jason. Somehow it just seems like you should be the one to give it to him," Rocky replied honestly.  
  
"Rocky..." Tommy began but before he could get any further Jason's one time successor cut him off.   
  
"Please, Tommy. Look, I know you don't want to go up there, none of us do, but you were our leader. You should be the one to give the coin to Jase just because...just because...I don't know why but it seems right. Please, Jason should have it," Rocky didn't know how to make Tommy understand actually what was going through his head. Truth be told Rocky wasn't sure but he knew it was more meaningful than he could quite grasp.  
  
Tommy saw how important this was to Rocky, it was important to him to though he wasn't sure why right then. The brown eyes of his old teammate were imploring, which was very unlike Rocky and Tommy didn't think he could call up the gall to deny his friend this. Taking a deep breath Tommy conceded, "Okay, Rocky, if you're sure this is what you want to do."  
  
"I'm sure, Tommy. Very sure," Rocky replied.   
  
Rocky did not reveal that it had taken him a long night of soul searching to come to this decision and had cost him some lost sleep and a few silent tears. Giving up his first morpher was not something Rocky had ever planned on doing though he had always felt a little guilty in the back of his mind for not returning it to it's original owner after there was no power left in it. Jason had never expressed any desire to have the old morpher back but Rocky knew it was as important, if not more so, to Jason as it was to him.   
  
Tommy took the old morpher Rocky gave him in a trembling hand. He didn't particularly want to do this but at the same time a part of him knew he had to, if only because he felt obligated to fulfill Rocky's request. If Tommy was completely honest with himself he knew it was deeper than that, more important than doing his friend this favour. While the Power had not created a miracle cure for him or spared Jason from any of the pain Tommy felt better knowing Jason had this symbol of protection with him. Maybe the Power would be able to protect him into the Afterlife as it had failed to protect him in this life. For whatever reason, Tommy felt safer and more in control approaching the coffin with the Power Coin in his hand.   
  
Before it registered that he had finished walking down the aisle Tommy found himself beside the casket. It was disturbing to see Jason's body laying there like that. He looked almost fake to his best friend who could hardly believe the midnight eyes would never smile at him again. For a few long moments Tommy remained silent and unmoving as he simply stared at the immobile face that had once been so open and friendly. None of the other Ranger's spoke as Tommy stood in front of the coffin. They knew better than that. None of them would ever have been able to find fitting words for such an occasion.   
  
Very gingerly Tommy moved one of the heavy hands so the palm was facing upwards. He absently stroked the dry skin on the back of the appendage gently with his thumb before glancing at the Tyrannosaurus Power Coin one last time. Tommy placed the morpher in Jason's palm, curling the limp fingers around it so it wouldn't fall out of Jason's lax hand.   
  
For less than a split second a soft, warm, red glow shone gently from the Coin as if the inanimate object knew it had come home. None of them had expected anything to happen but when the soft shreds of light engulfed Jason limp hand it seemed very right. The small reaction soothed Tommy greatly though at the time he didn't know why it pacified him as much and as deeply as it did. Upon later reflection Tommy would decide that bit of light showed that the Power was still with Jason, even in death.  
  
In a voice barely loud enough for the others to hear Tommy whispered, "May the Power protect you."   
  
Tommy reached up and grasped the lid of the coffin, taking a last look at the serene face below him before slowly shutting it. He stared at the wooden box before turning his back on it and walking back to where Rocky still stood, hardly seeing the others sitting in various places around the church.   
  
No words were exchanged between the two friends, no words either could find would be adequate to describe that feelings running through them in those moments. Instead, Tommy reached out and gently squeezed Rocky's shoulder for a moment. Rocky nodded in understanding, tears glistening in his eyes. Tommy glanced around at his other friends before speaking again, "I'm going home. Tomorrow will be a very long day."  
  
With that he left, the other former Rangers following soon after. Tomorrow would indeed be a long day, the day of Jason's funeral.   



	14. Kindling an Old Flame

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.  
  
Author's Note: I'm glad quite a few of the reviewers caught on to the Power Coin's reaction as a symbol of hope which is what I meant it to be. I just feel that no matter what happens you have to have some kind of hope with you. Maybe I'm just naive in believing that but it's what I want and need to believe. And for everyone suffering all over the world I quote Bon Jovi, "You gotta keep the faith."   
  
  
Chapter 14  
Kindling an Old Flame  
  
  
Tommy was all set to collapse onto his bed and fall asleep after the wake was finally over. When he put the Power Coin back into it's original owner's hand being the worst and best moment of that long day. The whole thing had been an emotionally draining experience and Tommy knew tomorrow would be worse. How was he going to face going to Jason's funeral? The concept still seemed unreal to him. It felt so unnatural, so wrong to have to go to his best friend's funeral. And it hurt so badly at times Tommy wondered if he would be able to keep up a strong front for the others. How did one go on after losing a friend such as Jason?  
  
Sighing to himself Tommy quickly showered and got dressed in more casual clothes. He was about to pull on a red shirt he grabbed from his closet when he paused. Looking down at the shirt he held in his hands it actually registered in Tommy's mind what he was about to put on. He stared at the crimson garment of clothing remembering the day it had arrived for him at his parents house just after the Zeo quest. He had called Jason about the new set of Powers, feeling somewhat awkward in red to begin with. A few days later the shirt arrived. It had been a joke then, something his best friend sent from half a world away to help him adjust to holding his new Powers.  
  
"Jason..." Tommy whispered to the barren apartment. For the first time since they had met Jason was not there to answer Tommy when he needed him. The realization that never again would Jason be there hit Tommy hard and fast as it had many times since Jason's death, the fact still trying to secure itself in Tommy's tenacious mind.   
  
Sinking to his knees Tommy held his head in his hands and began to sob in the very empty apartment. The red shirt lay crumpled on the floor a short ways away from him as Tommy wept loudly with no one to hear him cry and no one there to comfort him as he let out his sorrows. All that had happened was so much to bear and Tommy didn't want to bear it alone. 'But the only person who's ever been able to lighten the load before...' Tommy thought miserably, 'Oh hell! Dammit it all to hell!'  
  
Curled up in a corner of his dark, lonely apartment, Tommy cried, wanting something, someone who could no longer be within his grasp.   
  
"Hello?" A soft female voice called. Tommy was so lost and engulfed in his own grief that he didn't hear the quiet word.   
  
Kim quietly entered the dim apartment finding the door unlocked. She didn't want Tommy to be alone there tonight. She knew what he was like better than most and could guess he was going through a private hell because of the last few days events, refusing to show it in front of his friends. She also knew Tommy would be too bullheaded to come to any of them for comfort. So instead she decided to stop hiding from her first love. Jason had tried to get them back together and she would be damned if she let his efforts go to waste because she was too scared to act now that the initial awkwardness had been dispelled. She wanted and needed Tommy too much anyway. If he wouldn't come to her for comfort, she would go to him and Kim would not let Tommy pull away from her tonight.   
  
Kim entered Tommy's room slowly. The lights were off and it was dark and shadowy. Kim could make out Tommy's figure in the dim light. He hunched over in a corner, leaning up against a wall. His shoulders were heaving with violent sobs. His back was bare, a red shirt lying a few inches away from him, apparently the catalyst of this scene. Kim recognized it as a spur of the moment present from Jason just after Tommy had been appointed Red Ranger. Jason had sent it directly from Geneva. To get the red clothing kick going, he had said in the note that came with it. Tommy had laughed, calling his friend later that night and telling him he should have just sent over his old wardrobe. Soon after Jason had returned to take the Gold Ranger powers for Trey. Kim remembered a letter from him, written in barely suppressed excitement, he had been so happy to be part of the team again. He had been so happy to help and make a difference again...   
  
A choked sob brought Kim out of her wayward thoughts. Kim felt her heart clench at the sight of her former boyfriend so heartbroken. Tommy had been strong for Jason, he had been strong even when his own heart was breaking, he had been strong for the others and kept up the leader role he managed to take on so well. But he couldn't keep a strong front up forever. It was especially hard for him when he walked into his empty apartment. The apartment that was now devoid of the sparkling midnight eyes and kind, open smile Jason had always never been without.   
  
"Tommy..." Kim said softly reaching out and putting her hand on his shoulders. Tommy flinched at her touch and whirled around quickly. His face was pale and streaked with tears, his eyes were red and puffy.   
  
"It's so hard. Oh, Kim, why did this have to happen?" Tommy whispered before dissolving into strangled sobs again.   
  
Kim didn't answer but drew Tommy into a tight hug. Tommy clung to her as if she was the only thing keeping him on the Earth, much like Jason had clung to him during the harder times before he died. Of course, Tommy thought of Kim in a different fashion than Jason thought of him but the need for an anchor was still there. In a way she was one of the only things to keep him here and he needed her to hold him. He needed someone else to be strong even if just for a short while. The only other person who could have born Tommy's sorrow was now out of reach forever. Kim rubbed Tommy's back gently and whispered words of comfort, being strong for him just like he had been strong for her and everyone else.  
  
"It's not fair." Tommy whispered trying desperately to stifle his sobs and regain some control, "It's not right. All he ever did was make things better. Why was he taken away from us so soon?"   
  
"I don't know, Tommy. I can't answer that for you. I wish I could but no one can," Kim said gently. Her heart ached from losing Jason, her big brother, and from the sorrow in Tommy's heart.   
  
Kim hugged Tommy as tightly as she could, letting him release all his grief and pain that had been building up for months now. Tommy cried for all he was worth until finally his tears began to slow. Even then Kim held him close to her, stroking his long hair gently and rubbing his naked back. Tommy tried to pull himself together and failed miserably. Kim could sense him struggle to get his remaining tears under control.  
  
"You don't have to be strong, Tommy. Not in front of me," Kim whispered.  
  
Tommy let out a few more choked sobs at those words. Kim didn't say anything more just hugged him closer. As his tears ran dry, no more coming for now, Tommy realized how good it felt to have Kim's arms around him. Blushing softly in spite of himself Tommy drew away to look at Kim.   
  
"Feel any better?" Kim asked gently brushing a long strand of hair off his face.  
  
"Yeah." Tommy replied looking into her eyes. Something in them spurred him on and remembering Jason's attempt on his behalf said, "You're good for me, Kim."  
  
Kim smiled gently a small flicker of happiness warming her slightly, "The feeling is mutual."   
  
Tommy had the sudden urge to sweep her into his arms and kiss her but for all the courage Tommy possessed in battle he was incredibly shy around women, especially ones he had fallen for this hard. Kim blushed self consciously as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ears. Chocolate brown eyes, still somewhat red from crying, met misty doe eyes. Kim bit her lip gently as Tommy ran his hand through her silky hair. Kim leaned in first, knowing Tommy wouldn't, and Tommy followed her lead...  
  
Their lips met in a soft kiss. Tommy drew his arms around Kim's waist as the kiss deepened gently. Kim trembled as shivers ran down her spine. Tommy felt tingles run through his body as the sensation and realization of kissing *Kimberly Ann Hart* rushed him just as it had the first time their lips met in the park.  
  
They broke away completely breathless. Tommy now drew Kim into his arms, not knowing what was better having her hold him or holding her. Kim hugged Tommy back as she snuggled into his shirt, lying her head on his shoulder. After a few minutes had passed Tommy broke the silence wanting to share something with her that he had been planning to do if not right away than later.   
  
"Kim, will you come with me to the Command Centre?" Tommy asked softly.  
  
Kim looked up at him, clearly puzzled, "I thought it was destroyed."   
  
"It was. I just need to go up there. I can't explain it." Tommy replied quietly.   
  
"Of course I'll go with you, strange as it sounds I was thinking of taking a trip up there myself later on." Kim replied squeezing Tommy tightly once more before untangling herself from his arms.   
  
The two headed out of the apartment together, hand in hand. 


	15. Once A Ranger...

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Don't sue. I have maybe ten bucks to my name if I'm lucky.  
  
Author's Notes: This one goes to Didi, whom I adore for locking Rocky and Aisha in the attic. You rock.   
  
Chapter 15  
Once A Ranger...  
  
  
Tommy and Kim pulled up at the ruins of the Command Centre about half an hour later in Tommy's red and white truck.  
  
"Looks like someone beat us here." Kim commented pointing out the dark green jeep parked near the bushes.   
  
"That's Adam's jeep." Tommy remarked parking his truck beside it.   
  
They found Adam sitting on a large concrete block, leaning against the large pillar behind it. He had been staring off into space, quite literally. He was staring up into the vast starry sky that hung high above them and neither Tommy or Kim could guess what had been going through his head. When they approached turned his head to look at them.  
  
"Hey." Adam greeted softly as Kim took a seat beside him and Tommy sat on the ground, leaning up against the block.  
  
"Hi." Kim replied just as quietly. Tommy only nodded slowly, trying and failing to summon a small smile.   
  
Before they knew it Rocky had arrived in his red pick-up. Soon after came Zack in his beat up black car that no one could tell the make off. He was followed by Tanya and Aisha who had piled into Tanya's brand new yellow Bug that also carried enough other junk to fill at least half a dozen boxes. Kat arrived in her car, an old, white Toyota with a pink strip on each side. Trini came in a faded yellow van that the originals Rangers recognized as her older brother's 'banana car' as it had been called. Billy was the last to arrive in a royal blue, classic convertible that he and Jason had finished restoring just before Billy left for Aquitar. It had only been driven twice since it's restoration and since then had sat in the Cranston's garage awaiting Billy's return. It was the last big project Jason and Billy finished together.  
  
"Hey guys." Billy greeted half heartedly. Tommy noticed Billy's eyes, much like his own, showed signs of crying with a slight red, puffiness around them.   
  
They all murmured some form of soft greeting as the former Blue Ranger joined the ranks, stretching out next to Zack. Their were a few minutes of silence before Adam spoke up softly.  
  
"Weird, how we all came up here, isn't it?" Adam mused trying for a getting a weak smile to flicker over his face.   
  
"A lot of things started here," Zack commented, "The Rangers began here. We, as a team, began here."  
  
Kim smiled, "Who would have thought the five of us would be chosen to be super heros?"  
  
"Not me, that's for sure," Trini confessed, "It's not everyday a giant floating head tells you an evil witch will take over the world if you don't become a super hero in spandex."   
  
"Why spandex in the first place? It was a fashion nightmare," Kim adding getting giggles and nods from the female members of the team.  
  
Billy grinned at the oh so Kimberly comment before his face became more serious, "We all thought it was a joke, we had to or otherwise I know at least I would have been scared out of my mind. Except, Jason wasn't."  
  
Zack nodded, adding, "He only followed us out of the Command Centre when I called to him and when we were walking out he kept trying to convince us to go back."  
  
"Then the putties came," Trini remarked evoking groans from the remaining original Rangers.   
  
"I take it you guys didn't fare to well against them," Tanya said a slight smile dawning on her features.   
  
"Hell no, we got our butts kicked!" Zack replied with a short laugh.  
  
"It was really rather sad how badly we fared against the putties our first day 'on the job'," Kim remarked a weak grin chasing away some of the grief written on her face.   
  
"Well, technically since we had no Powers at that point and were not sure about taking them we weren't really 'on the job'," Billy added.  
  
"Once we got our Powers they were much easier to take care of," Trini could remember that day very vividly. Had it really been that long since she had first morphed? Had that much time passed so quickly?  
  
"Remember when Jason tried to break the fitness record?" Trini asked.  
  
"Or the time the food festival turned into that giant food fight?" Kim giggled softly that the memory of Mr. Caplan covered in food.  
  
That got the ball rolling and soon all the Rangers were reminiscing about the times they had shared together. Their stories were a mix of funny ones, sad ones, happy ones and a variety of other classifications. All of them involved Jason in some way, even if only because he was there or thought of. They all laughed when hearing about some of the situations that seemed much more humorous after the passage of time. They all smiled and chimed in their own stories when speaking of the less nerve wracking instances of daily Rangerhood. And it was safe to say tears sprung to many pairs of eyes when relating stories of sheer courage and compassion acted out by the former Power Ranger's leader and by other team members.   
  
Through it all the original Blue Ranger remained quiet, contributing comments and reacting with the others but never really getting into his own slue of stories. It wasn't that it was too painful to share his memories of Jason, as even Tommy joined in with his own tales, but the stories he had of his friend were so much a part of him he no longer viewed them as something to be told. They were like working parts of himself and telling them to the other's had never really occurred to him before. When the stories turned to those of which took place in Jason's childhood Trini, Zack and Kim had a great many anecdotes to reveal. But Billy still remained silent, only sharing something when asked.   
  
"How'd you and Jase become friends, Billy?" Tanya inquired, looking intently at their quiet friend.   
  
"Yeah, when I moved here you two were already fast friends," Kim mentioned remembering the first time she had met the two of them. Jason, who had included the younger, perky Kimberly from the start, and Billy who hung back a little but offered a shy tentative smile when she didn't tease.  
  
Billy shrugged, the origins of their friendship had never seemed all that special to him. He didn't actually remember the first time he met Jason but his father had told him the story before, "Our mothers were friends, they went to college together," he explained, "When we moved to Angel Grove I was a year and a half old. My mother to visit Jason's mother and she brought me with her. Jason shared his blocks with me while our mothers talked. I can't really remember a time when I haven't been friends with him."  
  
"And you've stayed friends all this time?" Kat asked frankly amazed that their relationship had been strong enough and durable enough to last that long. She was barely in touch with her friends from grammar school, receiving and sending cards for Christmas and birthdays but not much more.   
  
Billy nodded, "We went through everything together. He was the big brother I never had and always wished for. He saw me through my awkward years, meeting you guys, my mum's illness, her dea..."   
  
Billy trailed off, after all the time that had passed the death of his mother still affected him. With everything that had happened recently those feelings of loss and loneliness had come surging back with a vengeance. Only now there was no big brother there to protect him from the cruelest aspects of death. But maybe, just maybe...Billy sighed and started to reveal the circumstances surrounding his mother's death which only Jason had really heard in detail before even though the original Rangers had all been friends before that.   
  
"My mum died of a brain tumour. They tried to operate but they couldn't remove it all," Billy told them not exactly sure why he was explaining this to them, "My dad stayed with her in the hospital but I was too young to go visit her in the ICU. I stayed with Jason and his family during that time. I was so miserable and I wanted to go home so badly I must have cried myself to sleep nearly every night. Jason found me doing just that the second night I was there. He stayed with me until I fell asleep again and would sit with me when I woke up during the night. He used to rub my back and tell me everything would be okay even when it wasn't. God, I'm going to miss that about him. I'm going to miss the way he could always make things seem better, he could make you see the hope in any situation, no matter how bleak it really was. He never let me lose my hope for anything."  
  
Billy fell silent, a silvery tear trickling down his cheek. He made no attempt to brush it away. The wound on his heart was simply too raw to be hidden and the fact that they all shared that wound, maybe not as deeply, made it easier for Billy to get the bittersweet memory out. No one knew what to say or do after that. The normally shuttered young man had never opened up in a crowd of people to share something that intimate. And his observations on Jason struck a cord in all of them.   
  
It was Rocky who broke the stillness. An odd look crossed his face, a mixture of grief, pain, confusion and anger lining the usually cheerful, lighthearted features. He rose, picked up a wooden board and walked purposely over to a smaller pillar amongst the ruins.   
  
"Rocky..." Adam began softly wondering what was going through his friend's mind.  
  
His name, spoken quietly and gently was enough to set him off. Rocky exploded venting his frustrations and anger as he began hitting the wood to the pillar, not carrying about the splinters that cut his hands.   
  
"Stuff like this isn't supposed to happen to us." Rocky yelled as he smashed the board with a fierce intensity and rage, "I mean, we defended the goddamn world! We saved the planet more than once! We were the freaking Power Rangers for God's sake! How could this happen? I thought we were supposed to be protected! Didn't Zordon always say the Power would protect us!? Well, where was it, huh? Where was the Power when Jason needed help!?"  
  
No one had an answer for him but stayed wordless as Rocky vented his anger, most had wanted to do hit something like he was at some point. It kept up for a few minutes until the pillar won out over the board and the wood splintered into pieces.   
  
"Dammit," Rocky swore noticing he had cut his hand in the process of smashing the board. He stepped back too quickly and stumbled on a large rock   
  
"Rocky," Aisha chided gently as walked over to him and examined the cut while they both drifted back towards where the others were sitting. She carefully removed a large splinter from the cut and made sure she got all the little pieces of wood as well, "I don't have anything to bandage this with."  
  
"I do," Tommy remarked quickly going over to his truck and grabbing something from his glove compartment.  
  
Aisha looked at what he handed her a smile creeping over her face, "You have a first aid kit in your car? Really, Tommy, I'm not even sure what to call that."  
  
Tommy shrugged, "Left over leader paranoia, I guess. At least this is the first time I've used it," Tommy glanced at Rocky who was watching Aisha wrap some gauze around his hand and carefully avoiding the eyes of his former teammates.   
  
"Sorry, I just..." Rocky sighed glancing away and out over the mountains, "It's not fair and I know everyone says life isn't fair but this...this is different. This is just wrong! We shouldn't have to be remembering all the good times we had with Jason, we should still be having them. I just don't understand why this had to happen. I mean, what about the things Jason still wanted to do? What about the things he still wanted to accomplish? What happens to all the dreams he had?"  
  
There was a moment of painful silence before Tommy answered, "There are ones we can we keep alive. There are things Jason wanted to do that don't just apply to him. He wanted our school to be successful, he wanted to keep protecting those he loved, he wanted to live by the morals we all learned as Power Rangers and before and maybe most of all he wanted to help people, as many as he possibly could. Those things we can keep up. I will because I believe in them too and because I feel I owe it to him somehow."  
  
"There are other things," Tommy said after a short pause of heavy silence, "that we can't do for him. He wanted to marry and have a family some day. We can't do that for him but we can remember how lucky we are because we get the chance to do those things he wanted to but never got the chance at accomplishing."  
  
"Jason...he wanted us to be happy," Trini told them softly, "When I was sitting with him, saying my good bye he made me promise I would be happy. He told me he wouldn't be able to stand it if we weren't happy."  
  
Tommy smiled sadly, "That's just like Jason. He was more worried about us than himself."  
  
Trini glanced down at the ring she would wear on her finger until tomorrow after the service and said in a choked voice, "Yeah, he was."  
  
Kim could see her long time friend was keeping something that had happened between her and Jason to herself. Part of her wanted to get her friend to spill it but the look of longing that crossed Trini's face made Kim hold that impulse in check, deciding to ask the former Yellow Ranger about it later. 'Maybe it will be easier for her to confide whatever happened, and I know from that look something happened, between her and Jason, in just me instead of the whole group,' Kim mused. Indeed, the experiences was too fresh in Trini's mind to be shared with all the others just yet.   
  
"We formed a strong bond as Rangers," Kim said softly. "It's more than a team thing, it's more than the fact we faced danger together, it's family. We're family, the original team has been since we first became Rangers, it cemented our bond beyond just friendship."  
  
"And then whenever someone new came they were adopted into the group," Aisha added, knowing the feeling of family that stemmed from their service as Rangers all too well, "We'd do anything for each other and everyone sitting here knows it."  
  
"Losing Jason," Tommy put in quietly, drawing their thoughts toward a conclusion, "is so much more than losing a friend or even a good friend. He is one of us, he will always be one of us even now that he's gone. We aren't whole as a family without him. He was too important for us to ever be whole, as a family, without him here."  
  
There was a long silence as that information sunk in. It had always been an unspoken feeling the former Rangers had but to hear it voiced was something else. The whole experience had taken a large toll on them. They now knew they weren't invincible, they weren't always going to be saved and they weren't always going to able to save one of their own. But it didn't mean they were helpless. They were a family and a family goes through gains and losses but what makes them different was no matter what they went through it together. Even when faced with death they stood united by staying with Jason until the end, seeing their brother Home though they could not make the journey with him.   
  
"We had some good times," Billy said softly breaking through the deafening silence, "and we had some bad ones."  
  
"But we were always there for each other, through everything," Adam added solemnly, "We always will be."  
  
"Once a Ranger..." Tommy intoned the familiar mantra softly knowing the others would pick it up with him.  
  
"Always a Ranger." 


	16. What One Person Can Mean

Disclaimer: I own nothing.   
  
Author's Notes: I'm not really all that with it today. My grandma is in the hospital. No real author's note...I'm just not in the right mind tonight. I'm kinda scared for her. Yeah, sorry. This is the 2nd last chapter. Please review.  
  
  
Chapter 16   
What One Person Can Mean   
  
  
Tommy arrived early for the funeral the next day almost grinning as he thought of what Jason would say to him being early. This punctuality was sprung from nerves and grief. Tommy kept finding himself wandering into Jason's vacant room and staring at the bed that Tommy would soon have to get rid off before it drove him mad. Going to the church meant at least being with other people instead of moving through his home in a listless fashion.   
  
When he arrived there were only a few cars in the parking lot. They belonged to the minister conducting the service, Jason's parents, Kim, Trini, Rocky and Billy. Tommy parked between Billy and Kim before slowly getting out of his truck. He stayed outside for a while, leaning on the door reading over the eulogy, before slowly making his way up to the church doors.   
  
'Oh God I don't want to be doing this,' Tommy thought as he pushed open the doors. It was quiet inside, the minister was talking softly to Billy and Jason's parents while Trini and Kim were chatting softly as well. Tommy wasn't sure where Rocky was. Walking past the foyer and into the church itself Tommy spotted Jason's successor sitting the back pew.   
  
"Hey Rocko," Tommy said coming to stand behind his friend.   
  
"Hey," Rocky replied staring at a floral arrangement Jason's parent's had ordered with a fierce intensity.   
  
Tommy was about to ask what was wrong when he realized how strange that would sound. Something was up with Rocky, the look on his face and the way he sat showed that but as Tommy ran through the list of questions to find out what's bothering someone none came up as usable in this case.   
  
"Did you know I can't stand the scent of flowers?" Rocky asked softly.  
  
Tommy was momentarily taken aback, "No, I didn't know. Why do you hate the smell of flowers?"  
  
Rocky shifted a little before answering, "When my father died my grandparents had the whole church practically filled with flowers. All you could smell were those damn things. It was one of the worst days of my life and all I could smell were those Goddamn flowers. Now whenever I smell a bouquet of flowers I flashback to his funeral. I bet I'll think of today from now on as well."   
  
"Rocky..." Tommy began unsure of what to say to his friend.  
  
"No, don't say anything, Tommy. I'm okay, really. It's just something I have to deal with," Rocky told him.   
  
The church door opened once again and Adam walked in. Rocky abruptly got up to go greet him, feeling uncomfortable for having revealed that much. He hadn't intended to let all that slip but he just knew that from now on the scent of flowers would not only bring back his father's pale face lying in a coffin but Jason's as well.  
  
Other people began to arrive soon after and Tommy once again found himself assuring people he didn't know that Jason had died peacefully. Everyone wanted to hear that and Tommy knew even if it hadn't been true they would have wanted to hear that. A red headed young women with light green eyes had come up to Tommy and introduced herself as Cleo, the same Cleo that had dated Jason at one point and who had moved to San Francisco from Ireland after the Teen Summit had finished. She had been incredibly kind but also very subdued Tommy found the number of people he did not know there slightly overwhelming.   
  
"Trey." Tommy greeted seeing the Prince of Trifonia approach them. "I'm glad you could come. I only wish we were meeting under better circumstances."  
  
"Jason was a noble warrior and a good friend. He stayed in contact with me for a time after he gave the Powers back, to make sure the transfer was as successful as we first hoped," Trey commented. "All of the Rangers who had any connection with Jason will be here."  
  
"Once a Ranger, always a Ranger." Tommy remarked sadly, echoing the comment he had initiated last night.  
  
Trey nodded solemnly, "The Space Rangers will also be here soon."  
  
"Jason hardly knows the Space Rangers," Tommy commented slightly surprised.   
  
"But they know of him." Trey remarked. "You and Jason were Zordon's most prized Rangers. They feel a tie to him simply because of that. His legacy is known throughout the Universe, as is yours."  
  
"I had no idea." Tommy replied, stunned at this information.  
  
"Zordon was always very proud of you both." Trey commented. "He thought of the Rangers he mentors as his children. You and Jason were his two favourite sons."  
  
"I never knew." Tommy whispered looking towards the closed casket, "Neither of us ever knew."  
  
"Jason knew he was part of something that withstood many attempts to destroy it. He knew he was loved; you only have to look around you to see that is evident," Trey told him.  
  
Tommy had to agree with that. The church was really filling up. He noticed TJ, Cassie and the others they had passed their Powers onto enter the church, bringing a boy with long, streaked hair and another with bleached hair with them. Tommy knew the one wearing red was Andros but he wasn't sure of the other. 'They came even though they never knew Jason,' Tommy was awed by the thought. The Space Rangers greeted him solemnly expressing their sincere remorse for the loss of Jason's life.   
  
The church service was set to start at ten am so at fifteen to the Rangers assembled in the front pew on one side while Jason's parents and other family members sat on the other side. Tommy didn't look back at the rest of the church, he tried to block out everything while he waited for the service to begin.   
  
At twenty after ten Tommy looked around to see why they hadn't started yet. The church was filled, no seat was untaken and people were standing at the sides. The minister approached them speaking quietly but loud enough to be heard over the dim murmur in the church.  
  
"I'm so sorry for the delay we aren't used to having this many people in the church. We've had to find extra seating up in the loft." The minister told them.   
  
Indeed the loft and the rest of the church was full of people who had been touched by Jason. There was standing room only in the back of the church, the choir loft and people had even crowded into the church's coatroom. People from the Peace Conference, people from high school Tommy had hardly known, people Jason used to teach back when he had only just become a Ranger, the whole staff and students from their Dojo...Tommy felt tears well in his eyes and choked back a sob. He had never realized just how many people would miss Jason's deep, calm voice and strong, able hands. Tommy had to turn away, knowing how much Jason meant to all those people was simply too overwhelming for him to handle right then.  
  
Finally, at a quarter after eleven, the funeral began. It had been planned to be a very casual funeral. Jason had decided to comply with as many of his friends wishing as he could. Kim had requested one song be played, Tanya another, Adam suggested a type of slid show...Basically Jason had let them plan it for him, saying it didn't really matter all that much to him since he wouldn't be there to see it anyway. It was more their affair than his.   
  
They went with Tanya and Adam's idea first. A screen was pulled down as a song began to play and images of Jason's life flashed across the screen.   
  
We all want to make a place in this world  
We all want our voices to be heard  
Everyone wants a chance to be someone  
We all have dreams we need to dream  
But sweeter than any star you can reach  
Is when you reach and find you've found someone  
You'll hold this world's most priceless thing  
The greatest gift this life can bring  
Is when you look back and know  
You were loved  
  
A baby picture of Jason being held by his mother...two year old Jason playing blocks with little Billy...his fifth birthday party...his first day of school...Jason in his first gi when he was a little over five...dressed as a reindeer for the school's Christmas pageant...Jason as a Ninja and Billy as a scientist for Halloween when they were seven...with his first karate trophy when he was eight...   
  
You were loved by someone  
Touched by someone  
Held by someone   
Meant something to someone  
You loved somebody  
Touched somebody's heart along the way  
You can look back and say  
You were loved  
  
Jason and Billy as science fair partners winning first place...the first picture with a tiny, smiling Kimberly with the two friends...another Halloween picture this time Jason was Robin Hood, Billy was Little John and Kim was Maid Marion...Zack, Billy and Jason playing with remote control cars...the first picture with the willowy figure of Trini in it...  
  
You can hide diamonds in your hand  
Have all the riches in the land  
But without love you don't really have a thing  
If somebody cares that you're alive  
If somebody trusts you with their life  
That's when you'll know that you have all you need  
You'll hold this priceless gift  
The finest treasure that there is   
You can look back and know  
You were loved  
  
Jason, Trini, Zack, Billy and Kimberly gathered around a picnic table wearing their respective Ranger colours...Jason teaching a karate class to younger children...Tommy in a group picture of all of them when he still wore green...the Teen Ninja Finals...Jason in his football uniform...the whole gang including Aisha, Rocky and Adam...at the airport before leaving for Switzerland...  
  
You were loved by someone  
Touched by someone  
Held by someone   
Meant something to someone  
You loved somebody  
Touched somebody's heart along the way  
You can look back and say  
You were loved  
  
Jason standing with Trini and Zack outside a snow covered campus...Jason making a speech in front of a large amount of the other delegates...Jason dressed in a tux at one of the dances there with a beautiful red head named Cleo accompanying him...a few shots of him with a few other delegates in various countries they had travelled to...at the small farewell party his friends at the conference had thrown him when he announced he was leaving...a group picture of the Ranger team when he was Gold Ranger before Billy left...   
  
So many roads that can take  
Whatever way you go  
Don't take that road alone  
It's better you should know  
  
Jason in a cap and gown for graduation...Jason, Tommy and Rocky lugging boxes into his new apartment...working at a Dojo in town while they were trying to save up for their own establishment...the opening of their own Dojo...a full group picture taken that same day...Jason teaching the pee wee class...Jason teaching a women's self defence class...at his cousin's wedding...doing a presentation about karate at AGJH...the last picture of him taken when the disease had already started to make it's mark on Jason...  
  
You are loved by someone  
Touched by someone  
Held by someone   
Meant something to someone  
You loved somebody  
Touched somebody's heart along the way  
You can look back and say  
You did okay  
You were loved  
  
The last picture displayed was one Rocky had taken when he was finishing off a roll of film in his camera. He had brought it into the Dojo and taken a few pictures of the students and staff. It had been a few months before Jason's illness was detected and no signs of what was to come showed on the smiling face in the picture. It was from the a little above his waist and up, showing only the red tank top he had been wearing. His short brown hair was slightly mussed, he and Tommy had just finished sparing and they were getting ready to close up for the night. A wide grin covered his face and his eyes were full of laughter, it lit up his whole face. He looked so vibrant, so full of joy and love and life. It was the sort of picture you smiled at when you saw it.  
  
So remember to tell that special one  
You are loved  
  
'Less than a year ago that was Jason,' Tommy thought as the picture faded to black, 'How can less than a year make such a huge difference?' It was an amazingly sad fact that within less than a year all of Jason's physical strength and hard earned muscles had been dwindled down to the thin figure lying under the lid of the coffin. It was incredibly depressing to know what could happen in such a little amount of time.   
  
The screen faded into black as the minister began the service, "We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a wonderful young man. All of you here today knew Jason Lee Scott in some way. It seems he touched a great many lives in his time on this planet..."  
  
Tommy tuned out most of what the minister was saying. He simply couldn't concentrate on the words of the man up there. He knew that Rev. Shepherd had known Jason most of his life, having been at the same church since before the time Jason was baptised there. All the same the he didn't really know Jason, at least not like they did. The words the minister spoke seemed to slid in and out of his head, blurring together slightly. It seemed like he was experiencing something out of a dream, one he wished he never had to have. Tommy wished it were really a dream, oh how he wished it were only a bad dream!  
  
"Tommy, I don't want to go up there," Billy whispered snapping Tommy to attention and out of his detached state, "I don't want to do this."  
  
"Neither do I," Tommy whispered back, "but would you rather back out?"  
  
Billy shook his head slowly, "I can't do that."  
  
Tommy squeezed Billy's shoulder gently, "Everyone here is hurting Billy, they don't know what we're going through but they have some idea."  
  
"If it were anyone but Jason I wouldn't do this," Billy confessed quietly as he tried to mentally prepare himself for going up and speaking in front of all the people gathered in the church, "It hurts too much."  
  
"I know," Tommy replied and, seeing the apprehensive look in the green eyes added, "Good luck."  
  
Billy nodded before getting up from his seat. Tommy hadn't even fully realised the minister had stopped talking yet. Tommy watched Billy as he made his way to the podium, forcing himself to pay attention. He knew what Billy was going to say but couldn't let his mind wander as he had done before, it was easier to focus on someone who knew what he was going through.   
  
Billy hesitated when he reached the podium, looking out at the people gathered in the church and wishing there didn't seem to be so many. He had spoken in public before but usually about matters which were more familiar to him. When Billy spoke in front of a crowd he liked to be well versed in the subject and comfortable with what he was saying. The matters of the heart which he would be speaking about now affected him greatly, he knew that, but he found it hard to understand them.   
  
Focussing on the pew where his closest friends sat Billy began, "I knew Jason for most of my life, we were friends for a long time and I don't really know what I will do now that I've lost him."  
  
Billy paused to wipe away a tear that had escaped out of the corner of his eye, "I remember a class we had, ages ago, where at one point we discussed what we would do when we grow up. Everyone has conversations like this at some point or another, it's part of growing up I guess. We had to fill out these little booklets about what jobs we wanted to have and what education we wanted to finish and what type of future we wanted to have. I remember rushing through mine, I had it all planned out, every detail was perfect to the point where, in my mind, I was already almost finished doing it all. I think most of the class was like that, we had it all planned, we knew exactly what was going to happen to us."  
  
"Jason, and one or two other students, didn't particularly enjoy filling out those books. Jason never finished his. When our teacher came around she asked Jason, 'Why haven't filled out your book properly. Why haven't you written long paragraphs like everyone else? Don't you have dreams you want to fulfil? Don't you want to be successful?'"  
  
"I will always remember Jason's answer, he said to her in the way only a child can, 'Of course I've got dreams, I just haven't finished making all of them yet! How can I write them all down when I'm not done living them yet?' We were in grade four at the time and most of us were already trying to plan out the rest of our lives. It was as if we wanted to grow up and face the world very quickly. Well, I've seen a lot of the world and I think I'd rather go back to my days of youthful innocense when being grown up was either a game or something on the vast horizon."  
  
"The question, 'Don't you want to be successful?' struck me quite often over the years and especially in the past few weeks. Some would say that Jason left too young to be successful, that he was taken away to early to have really left a lasting mark. I feel sorry for the people who feel that way because they can't see how much one person can mean. I will leave you with a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I feel that Jason left a mark, a light, behind him when he left us. I know I will cherish the light he gave to me until the day I join him."   
  
Billy cleared his throat and began the poem,   
"Were a star quenched on high,  
For ages would its light,  
Still travelling downward from the sky,  
Shine on our mortal sight."  
  
Billy's voice wavered as tears escaped down his face. Covering his eyes with his hand he took a shaky breath, determined to finish now that he had started.   
  
"So when a great man dies,  
For years beyond our ken,  
The light he leaves behind him lies  
Upon the paths of men."  
  
Billy refused to look into the crowd as he hastily made his way back to the others, not wasting a moment in getting back to the safety of his friends. He simply dropped limply into his seat when he reached them, trembling with sobs. Adam draped his arm around his shoulders, trying to keep from crying himself. Tommy fought back his own tears and placed a hand over Billy's, squeezing gently. The friendly reassurances through touches were something they all needed that day. And they knew the most trying speech was yet to come. 


	17. I Love You, Bro

Disclaimer: I own nothing.   
  
Author's Note: Uh...I feel really weird posting this chatper, the last chapter of the story. Not only because I working on this one so hard and for so long but also because today we held the Memorial service for my Nanny. So now I know how hard it is to get up and say something at a funeral. And I learned quite well that emotional exhaustion is very real. That's the only way I can explain being so damned tired after sitting in a hospital waiting room all day. The final author's notes are going to go up seperatly, please read them too. It was just important for me to dedicate this chapter to my Nanny, Constance, who died Tuesday morning at 4am. Just so she knows for sure that her darling little Tuk loves her very, very much.  
  
  
Chapter 17  
I Love You, Bro  
  
  
If the former Rangers were close to tears after Billy's speech they came even closer when Trini and Kim rose to sing a duet. Very few of them had ever heard Trini sing before, she had always left that up to Kim or Zack or one of the more well known Ranger singers. But she had confessed what had happened between her and Jason to Kim last night when Kim called her on it over the phone. Kim had then insisted on Trini singing with her since Trini had declined to write something herself, saying she was unable to put her feelings into adequate words.   
  
Now they stood together as the pianist began. Kim launched into the song, knowing if she didn't put everything she was going through into that song she would burst into tears in front of everyone. Her strong but mellow voice steady as the first words came out...   
Where do we go from here  
This isn't where we intended to be  
We had it all, you believed in me  
I believe in you  
  
Trini followed her, softer and not strongly but with more feeling and love lacing the tender notes than Kim was capable of. It was not Kim's love that had left her, unintentionally, alone and without someone to hold onto. Trini's voice was unwavering and more powerful because of the sheer emotion behind it.   
  
Certainties disappear  
What do we do for our dream to survive?  
How do we keep all our passions alive  
As we used to do?  
  
Kim joined Trini and intended to sing the whole chorus with her but when the song spoke of love she cut out. Trini was too absorbed in the words to notice.  
  
Deep in my heart I'm concealing  
Things that I'm longing to say  
Scared to confess what I'm feeling  
Frightened you'll slip away  
  
Trini's voice dropped to a soft whisper as the lyrics came out. They were all too familiar to the words she had said in her head over and over again when wishing the strong man she loved so would return her feelings.  
  
You must love me  
You must love me  
  
The two voices of the original Pink and Yellow Rangers blended sweetly together on the second verse until they reached the final chorus. Kim let Trini finished, knowing the words meant more to her than she would ever be able to express.   
  
Why are you at my side?  
How can I be any use to you now?  
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how  
Nothing has changed  
  
Deep in my heart I'm concealing  
Things that I'm longing to say  
Scared to confess what I'm feeling  
Frightened you'll slip away  
  
You must love me  
You must love me  
  
A tear tracked down Trini's cheek as she sang the final notes. Once again the question, 'Why did I wait to long to say something?' Ran through her head. Trini's voice trembled as she almost whispered the words echoed in her own head during her heartfelt confession a few days prior.  
  
You must love me...  
  
Had it not been for Kim's unseen hand on the back of her arm Trini would have bolted from the room. She almost regretted agreeing to go up there with Kim. Almost. Without anyone catching on Kim gently manipulated Trini back to the pew. Trini broke down, weeping silent tears as Kim put her arms around her best friend. She could not think of how much it would hurt to lose the person you loved so soon after you had only just found they loved you too.   
  
At the same time she reached over and gave Tommy's free hand a quick squeeze. She knew he would speak next, after the minister was finished, and she knew how hard it was going to be for him to get up there. Had Jason not meant so much to him he wouldn't have considered doing it but as it was it was almost harder to stay silent than to speak. Kim had not read the eulogy Tommy had written but knew from the way the paper in his hands was frayed around the edges he had spent a long time, possibly most of the night, reading it over. She wouldn't have been surprised if Tommy didn't need the paper but was just taking it up there with him for comfort.   
  
Tommy slowly got to his feet. His eyes never strayed from the coffin as he approached the front of the church. He looked out at the large crowd and took a deep breath trying to calm his frantic emotions. One by one he caught the eyes of his teammates and recalled the warm, midnight eyes that were missing from their group. 'This is for you Jase,' exhaling softly, he began.  
  
"When I tried to write down what everything I wanted to tell all of you, I found that my words fell short of what I wanted to say. How do you describe someone like Jason? It's simple: you can't. Nothing can depict everything he was to everyone here. So instead of trying to touch on what a good person we have lost I'm going to read you a letter I wrote Jason the day before he died. I meant to use it so I remembered all the things I wanted to tell him when I said good bye but when the time came I found I had forgotten my letter in the other room and could barely recall what I had written down. I did touch upon some of these things when I spoke to Jason for the last time but others were left out. I hope that where ever Jason is now he can hear me because these are the things I would have liked to make sure he knew," Tommy unfolded a few, slightly battered looking, piece of paper.  
  
"Dear Jason, as I write this I find my hands are trembling. I have long since realized you will be leaving us but I'm not sure I will truly accept you will soon be beyond my reach, until long after you have left me. I don't want to accept it just as I don't want you to die. I have no choice in either matter, all I can do is be with you until the end. Before you leave us there are some things that I want and need to tell you. Most have always been an unspoken understanding between us. It's time they were said. The others are things I hope you know already but I'll tell you just in case you don't.  
  
"First off, I love you. You're my brother in spirit if not in blood. There's always been a bond between us. Some would call us kindred spirits, best friends, brothers...whatever name you give our relationship there is something missing. All I know is that I have loved you for a long time and will always love you in that special way that is ours.  
  
"I wonder if you realize just how much you mean to me. I owe you more than I owe anyone else. You've saved me in so many ways. I owe you my life many times over and you've saved my spirit more times than I can count. I have learned so much from you, in many ways you've been the best teacher one could have. And the way you teach things is in such nonchalant manner I often wonder if you even realize what you're doing. When I was just getting to know you it amazed me how kind you were without thinking of that kindness at all. It still amazes me to know you don't now or ever have thought of your benign acts as anything but normal. To the people on the receiving end these acts are precious and extraordinary. I want to thank you for all the compassion you've shown for me over the years. I don't know what I would have done without it.  
  
"I want you to know you've helped shaped the person I've become. I doubt I would be the same person I am now if you hadn't been there to guide me through some of the toughest times of my life. I sometimes wondered what compelled you to take me, a brooding, somewhat moody loner, into your already tight group of friends. You didn't have to and I certainly did my best to push you away. I will be forever grateful you didn't let me push you away the many times I tried but instead made an extra effort to make me feel welcome. To a lonely, friendless, new kid like me it makes a world of difference. Looking back, I realize how much I changed in those first few months. Thank you for helping me become the person I wanted to be.  
  
"I want to let you know how much you'll be missed. I haven't yet figured out just what I'm going to do when I can't call you up. I don't know who I'll go to with my problems now or who I'll go to when I want to share my joys. I don't know who will be there to reassure me when things go wrong or who will be there to remind me of what's important when I forget, as I can do on occasion. One thing I know I will never, can never forget is you and everything you meant to me. How can you forget the person who shared part of your soul? How could I ever forget the person who knew me better than I knew myself? How can you forget someone who was a part of you? I mourn your death as if it was my own because in a way it is. You take a piece of me with you to where ever you now are just as I will always keep a part of you with me.   
  
"I wish with all my heart that there was more I could have done for you. I can't help but feel that there should be something I can do to prevent this from happening. I wish there was some way to give you a cure or lengthen your life without prolonging your suffering. I know that you will protest what I just said and tell me there is nothing more I could have done but I want there to be something more. I would do anything for you and give anything to make sure you don't suffer. If it meant you were spared the pain I would have taken it on myself. If it meant you were able to live a long, happy life, I would have gladly given mine up. If giving up my life meant you wouldn't have had to suffer during these past few months I would have done it in and instant and without regret. I know if our positions were reversed you would wish you could do the same for me.  
  
"There are still so many things I want to do with you. Things that we were supposed to do together as best friends and now I don't know what I'll do when those times come. Things we promised each other a long time ago. I wanted you to tell me not to be nervous before my wedding and stand beside me as my Best Man. I wanted to do the same for you. I wanted to tell me to stop pacing and calm down when my first child is born. And I especially wanted to see your eyes light up when I told you I was going to honour the promise we made when we were barely sixteen, to name our first born son after each other.   
  
"I'm still going to honour that promise and the others I made, Jase. I know that some things we promised each other can't be fulfilled but what I can I will honour. And other promises that I made you, starting from when we first meet to just a few days ago, I will live by, always. I will live by the wonderful example you've set in your life and in your death as much as I possibly can. Thank you for blessing me with your presence and thank you for giving me so much to hope for, to dream for and to aspire to. But most of all thank you for loving me as I love you, with all my heart and soul. We are brothers in life and I believe that our bond will last beyond this mortal coil into death and whatever lies beyond." Tommy's voice cracked a little but he continued on for his last line.   
  
"Love, your brother in spirit, Tommy."  
  
Tears sliding noiselessly and unabashedly down his face Tommy returned to his friends before the shuddering sobs overtook him. He felt a hand on his back, someone trying to comfort him. He didn't shrug off the hand but didn't respond to it either. Burying his face in his hands so no one would see his tears Tommy cried softly, uncaring of anyone else's eyes, until the minister brought the service to a close.   
  
No one in the church moved as Billy, Adam, Tommy, Rocky and Zack carried the coffin out of the church which was on the grounds of Angel's Place Cemetery. They carried the wooden box straight to the plot where Jason would be laid. The plot Jason was to be buried in was quite lovely. It was off to one side of the graveyard, near where the wilder part of the park began. It was covered in shade from the nearby trees but light peaked through the leaves spilling patterns onto the ground and marble tombstone that waited there.   
  
Only Jason's parents, the minister and the former Rangers took the body of their beloved out to his eternal resting place. The other's waited behind out of respect. They all wanted to offer their condolences to Jason's family but knew this was too intimate to intrude on.   
  
The former Rangers looked on silently as the reverend intoned softly, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," and dutifully sprinkled their handful of dirt over the wooden box holding the body of one of their own. They all waited until the gravediggers had filled in the hole with dirt so that even Jason's body was now out of reach to them.   
  
After Ms. Scott carefully laid down the bouquet of flowers she clutched she turned to Tommy and murmured softly, "Thank you for taking care of my son. I know he felt the same for you as you felt for him."  
  
Tommy nodded and quietly replied, "He's been looking after me for a long time, it was the right thing for me to do."   
  
Ms. Scott smiled sadly before turning with her husband and walking away, back to the church. No one should see their child buried before them. And when that son or daughter is their only child...  
  
When the elder Scotts had left Tommy let his gaze drift back to the tombstone. He simply couldn't believe it, Jason was gone. Really gone. How many times would the fact have to hit him before it stayed rooted in his conscious so the realization he had lost his best friend wouldn't hurt so very much anymore? It would always be a source of pain for Tommy but in time he hoped some of the pain would diminish.   
  
Everyone stayed silent, none of them had spoken yet, save for Tommy's words to Ms. Scott. Now, in a soft but steady voice Tommy read out loud the words he had chosen to be inscribed on the marker..  
  
Jason Lee Scott rests here  
The light he left behind will shine on us forever  
  
For a few more moments they stood in complete silence, staring at the tombstone and the utter finality of it all. They would find out later, from the Space Rangers, that across the galaxy Rangers past and present paused and stood still for a few moments. Those who didn't attend the funeral, those who had never met Jason Lee Scott or any other one of the Earth Rangers paused in silence. On many planets the Ranger teams not in battle paid homage to an ancient sage's favourite son.  
  
Then they turned, together, and walked back to the church, more than one person glancing back as the grave got further and further away and finally vanished from sight.   
  
Tommy would return to the site later that evening, just as the stars were beginning to dot the sky. The funeral was over and even the Youth Centre, where everyone had gathered afterwards, had begun to clear out. Kim had offered to come with him as had Billy but Tommy had declined their offers, wanting to make this first trip on his own. Now, in the darkening twilight Tommy stood silently by the stone marking his best friend's resting place.   
  
Kissing the tips of two of his fingers lightly, Tommy ran them over the top of the stone and whispered, "I love you, bro," into the gathering darkness.   
  
Without another word he turned and left, knowing somewhere, somehow a red clad young man with a warm smile and sparkling midnight eyes was saying the same words back to him. In the still hush of the graveyard, Tommy could almost hear Jason's deep voice on the gentle breeze. Jason's spirit was still with him, still soaring beside him as it had since they first met. Death would not vanquish him for his friends would never let the wonderful light that had been inside him go out. It would live in them, and all those they passed it on to, for longer than they could imagine. 


	18. Final Notes. Please Read!

Final Author's Notes: If there's a 'Jason' in your life tell them how special they are. If there is anyone you really love with all your heart tell them it! The last time I saw my Nanny alert and I told her I loved her and I am so very glad I did. She was taken away from me and my family in a very sudden, freak accident while on her way to my house to get the crossword. We were completely unprepared for it and I will always be glad I told her I loved her the last time I saw her. I know she always knew it anyway but you'd be surprised at how often people don't realize what they mean to everyone around them. I was going to say more but I'm just too shook up to think of anything else right now. Sorry.  
  
On another note there is something I would like to say in direct relation to the story. Lung cancer kills more people per year than any other type of cancer and yet it is the most underfunded type of cancer when it comes to treatment research. There NEEDS to be more funding for lung cancer. It takes too many lives or smokers and non-smokers alike. Many people think it is 'only a smoker's disease' and therefore not worthy of the funding that goes to breast cancer research, leukemia research etc.. It is NOT 'only a smoker's disease.' You can get lung cancer even if you've never touched a cigarette in your life. Even former smoker's who have lung cancer deserve and need more advanced treatments. Ignoring the fact lung cancer research needs more funding is denying someone with lung cancer the right to a fighting chance at life.   
  
Sorry if I sounded preachy in any of that. I'm a bit still a bit shell shocked and more than a bit muddled. I hope you enjoyed this monster. Please review! 


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